Pancakes.

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I was up early on the cold Saturday morning making pancakes for HB….it was all mommy guilt.  The day before I fetch him from school t o find that he had lost a second pair of shoes in two weeks. I was so angry with him.  I told him he is getting no TV, and this, time, no toys or books either.  He just needs to go to his room and face the wall until bedtime.  I was so angry as that is almost R600 for the two pairs of shoes and socks.

However, I knew I was very angry and I did not want to be shouty crazy mom, so I did let him watch TV, because I needed a timeout for myself.

Sunday found me buying a new pair of shoes for him (at this stage he only has his house boots, which he was wearing out, and his brown school shoes…I had to buy new shoes). He offered for us to sell the WII, but I said it was fine.  We will not sell it (who would buy it anyway), but he will not be allowed to play anymore and no more tuck shop treats on Fridays, in fact no more treats at all.

The no more treats thing is going to be hard because we have a birthday party, and a stage outing planned for this week…and both are going to come with treats.  Also, we need for him to get a vaccination, which usually involves a treat.

But back to the pancakes: he was very hurt by me telling him he would have to look at a wall all evening.  He was even teary up on Saturday when we spoke about it. He did ask for a play date, but I said that he could not have one, due to the shoes.

How do you deal with your child losing their school stuff? I started taking things away, but there is not much more to take.  I am not in the habit of punishing, and what punishment is appropriate?  Also, he is not doing anything  out of the ordinary for his age group, all the kids are losing stuff everyday.  I see it in the class group. His teacher mentioned that he is one of the better ones at remembering, but still, it does get expensive. As to why the stuff does not get returned?…all I can think is that someone else has his clearly marked items and has not returned it. My phone number is on everything…..?

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Being a judgy parent.

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Yesterday I was sitting at a swimming lesson.  There were six of us adults sitting there…and I was the only one without my face stuck into my phone. I was judging the other five.  Judging them for not looking at their kids learn to swim.  For me it is important to watch and to give HB a thumbs up every so often. He looks up often to see if I am watching.  I want to be looking at him when he looks to me.  I miss so much because I work fulltime, and the swimming lesson is one of the few things I can be there to watch, so I do actually watch him.

I would assume, any parent sitting there with me is also working fulltime, because we sit there in the dark and the cold waiting, and if you could do it earlier, you would.  So they are mostly in the same boat.

I sat there and judged them, without knowing a thing about them.

My bullet points.

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  • HB and I have started learning Zulu together.  I have decided to take this opportunity to educate myself.  I just need to find people to speak Zulu to.  For now, the lady at work is helping me out, especially with the clicks.  At least Zulu only has three…but I have only managed to work out one properely. HB is having so much fun.  For now it is very informal.  We will be having a conversation and decide to learn some words for the things we are talking about.  I am not sure how the Zulu teacher is approaching this, as far a I know, they are learning body parts and some greetings.
  • We are about to stop Speech Therapy.  I am feeling so excited about it.  The therapist told us, she is not sure there is any point to it, as he is reading well and he remembers things he needs to remember and he talks about the things he loves without any issues. We have decided to have a formal meeting with his teacher as she has already expressed her view that she thinks it is not necessary.
  • Our domestic goddess had a birthday this weekend.  She did tell us it was her birthday, so I do feel a birthday gesture is in order, as we do love her.
  • I am getting together with some friends this evening and I am looking forward to it. Only one partner comes, and I think because he is comfortable with us, as he is also in the same field.  It is odd like that…we talk about our work at the start and then it is anything and everything, so we are not exclusionary to people outside our field, we just know each other from the time we used to work in the same office…now only one of our group is in that office still.
  • I want to break up with another friend, and I am not sure how to do it.  I almost just want to taper off contact until it just dies.  I know it is not the most mature way to do it, but when you are on your way to your forties, you cannot just say you don’t want to play anymore.  She has no respect for me and I don’t want to accept it anymore.
  • I need to organise another date with friends who are also in my field, but it is more mummy related…we can meet without the kids every few months.

Weekend stuff.

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On Saturday we cooked…really cooked.  We cooked 31 meals, which means even though we were tired, we are done for a whole month.  It took all of Saturday, and we hosted a playdate too.  It was a busy busy busy day.

A friend said she tried to cook like we do, but she failed and she is never doing it again.  I have to be honest and say it would be a big ask for one person to do this alone.  I would most likely not do it.  Hubby and I work it out together and we cook together and the rule is, clean as you go, so we do not sit with a huge pile of dirty dishes to do when we are tired after cooking.  We prefer to do it on a Saturday, so that we can get a break on the Sunday.

We also have a plan, written out, that we can work with and strike of as we go.  We also know the order we are cooking in, so that once the oven is hot, we cook everything that needs the oven, one after the other.  We also have the pans ready, the heavy duty foil and marker ready.  You have to label everything, include the date too.  Sometimes I might add something later, and you do not want food lying in the freezer for too long.

We cooked two dishes on Friday, while we were eating dinner.  I had got off work early and we decided to get a start on the stove top cooking.

The other way to do it, is to cook a double portion and build up your stash of meals over time, which I do sometimes.  Like, I will roast two chickens and freeze one.

In non food related news…

Sunday I was so sick, I spent the entire day in bed.  I only moved out of bed to use the toilet and have a shower.  Hubby brought food to me and I just stayed there….and I feel a heap better this morning.  I needed to ensure I was well for work and  I am.  I have not slept that much in a long time.

I knew I was feeling a little sick on Saturday, but I was too busy to get into being sick.  On Saturday I got into bed at 20h00 and I was done.  I awoke at about 02h00 on Sunday morning with the most incredible pain in my head and face.  I tried to blow my nose, but it did not help.  Eventually I went to sleep sitting up and it helped.  I think the sinuses where just unhappy and lying almost flat does not help.

I also managed to finish my costume design and price it out for the school.  I will make one prototype next weekend to work out the kinks. I just have not found a suitable bonnet pattern I am happy with.

HB is learning Zulu, which is great, but I don’t really speak Zulu myself, and everytime he needs to learn a new word, I have a bit of research and then I have to teach it to him.  I have not worked out how to get it into his head…currently we are just using repetition, but I need a better system. I try to find the easiest word, without any clicks in it and teach him those first…the Zulu teacher can teach the click words.  My knowledge of Zulu is greetings and then random vocabulary which I cannot really piece together…It would be great if I could actually speak the language.

Just sewing.

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I am having a little hyperventilating week about the concert costumes I volunteered to do.  I am not sure what I was thinking when I volunteered, however, it is too late now.  I blame hubby.  He needs to be there to hold my hand down. He sent me to the meeting alone.

To be honest, I am a little excited too.  I don’t have a girl to dress up, now I have 33 girls to dress.  I am going this weekend to work out the best fabrics and to make a costing for the school.  I have never sewn with tulle….anyone have any tips for me?  I am thinking long tutu type underskirts with gingham pinafores.

Why did I volunteer?  I have no time to set out tea for school events.  I also do not have time to arrange golf days and potjie days and carnivals.  I also don’t have any pull to arrange sponsors on the level of Maserati. Yes, these mom are phenomenal…they can get sponsors on that level.  So I sew concert costumes, because I love to sew, I don’t have a daughter to dress up, and I do need to do my bit.  Schools are communities at the end of the day.

I wish I had more time to sew, because I do love doing it.  I wish I had time to learn to do it properly.  I taught myself and I have no idea how to read patterns and to know which thread works with which fabric.  I learn by trial and error and a heap of internet research.

When I am all grown up, I want my own sewing room, where I can leave my things out, with a large table for cutting and piecing my things together.