Poison notes.

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And you think you are having all the problems with your problem child…and then you bump into other moms and you realise it is not just you.

You all know about our classroom dramas from last year.  It consumed me last year and I am almost over it now.  Over the weekend I saw a mom and I recognised the anxiousness in her.  I could see the stress in her body and the way she watched over her boy.  What happened?  She received a letter from the teacher about her son being a bully. To be honest, I myself have not seen the bully side of him in his interactions with HB.  He is bigger than the other kids, size wise, but just seemed like a teddy to me.  He is not fat, just bigger.  He loves to hug and he loves to try to carry the littler ones, like HB.  I know HB does not like it, but he lets the child know, and that is normally the end of it.  I think this happened with the girls and now there is a bullying letter.  As soon as this mom sees any sign of unhappiness with the kids, she wants to jump in and take her son out of it. She is so worried and stressed.
Another mom says she received a red slip.  I did not even know what that was.  It is a disciplinary slip. He son was not listening to the cricket coach and then he walked away while the coach was reprimanding him.  You could see the stress in her body.  You can see that she just wants to protect her child.  You can see she does not know where to go or what to do.
Those little notes from school so harmless seeming when that teacher hits send, but so devastating to a mom.  I cannot say what the dads feel. but I see the signs in the mom.  I have been there, and I feel like we need a support group.
In other news…Almond milk looks gross.  I would rather drink tea and coffee without.
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I love love.

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I remember the reason I started a blog, way back in the day was because of Valentines day.  I remember reading all these blogs that just hated Valentines day and said how they never celebrate it. I love Valentines day.

I know it is commercialised, but which occasion is not commercialised?  I feel it has to be what you make of it for yourself.  I love the celebration of love.  Surely you are a bit of a Scrooge not to celebrate love?  I don’t restrict myself to romantic love.  As I grew older I felt the need to remember love in all its forms and that needed to be celebrated. Our world definitely needs love.
This year HB said he had a letter for us but we could not see it until today.  He woke early, by himself to get it out and give it to us.  It is a sweet love bug card with a photo inside of him, on the first day of G1.
I cooked our Valentines dinner last night. It just needs to be reheated tonight. It is basically lasagna without the pasta.  I used aubergine instead.  Perhaps it is then eggplant parmigiana?  I subbed the flour carbs in the white sauce by using a puree of cauliflower.  I know I said I would never do these weird things, but pureed cauliflower with fried onions, garlic and nutmeg is surprisingly close to the real thing. It worked.  I have not told hubby about my white sauce, I want him to work it out for himself and it will be a good indication of its authenticity, because hubby always makes the white sauce in our house.
I was going to do cheesecake for dessert, but it did not work out.  I over whipped the cream, and then it separated. It was just not coming together and then it completely separated.  No saving that.  The low carb base tastes amazing though (sunflower seeds, dessicated coconut, dark cocoa, and butter).  I will give it a try again, with a different brand of cream. I can make fridge cheesecake in my sleep, so I am not sure what happened last night.
HB is looking forward to the dinner.  I told him will do the whole candles and flowers thing.  He has chocolate for dessert (because he refuses to eat frozen yoghurt and I don’t want him having the artificial sweetener in the cheesecake base).
HB told me he wants to marry me this morning.  I tried to explain about how I am already married to Papa, but he was having none of that.
We gave chocolates to his teachers and a little posy of frangipani to his class teacher. I am so proud of my frangipani, it is out of my very own tree.
Today I remember and appreciate the love relationships that I have in my life.  I have a full family of husband and child and parents and sisters and nephews and cousins and aunts and uncles.  I have so many people who I can turn to, who will be there if I need them to be.  I have friends I can rely on.  Today is about remembering and appreciating these relationships and giving thanks for a life filled with love.

Diet progress and the child.

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One month down on this diet.  A total weight loss of 8kg and an average of 2cm loss on parts of my body.  I have to wait two more months to do blood tests and see the affect on my body in other ways. I think I am happy with that.  At least I am getting smaller and I feel fine.  I have not starved or felt icky and dizzy.  I have to admit the first week was not easy:  I felt ill (well eventually found I actually was ill, so may not have been the diest at all.)

I have added back exercise, since I have been feeling better.  So 30 minutes.  I must say I have not been finding it easy to make time for those 30 minutes.  I have announced to my family it is my 30 minutes and  I am taking it for myself. I try to do it last thing or first thing in the day. It has also kick started hubby to do some exercise too.  His a whole lot different from mine, as for now, I am just doing basic cardio, until I feel more fit to try anything else.
HB has been such a pleasure, that darling child.  Some days he can be so sweet and cooperative, that I wonder where that terrorist inside him lives?  He is one of those children who takes the time to notice a new shirt or earrings and compliments me.  He will tell me how much he loves me.  He is a child that loves to be touched. He will notice that his room has been tidied away.  He will offer to help clean.
 And some days, I wonder if I have been gifted with the patience to deal with the moods and tears.  I need to learn to listen and be sensitive to avoid these moods.  Sometimes I feel that he just wants drama.  His sandwich is not cut exactly right, his shoes are missing, he wants a specific teddy bear, he wants to bath, and not shower.  He does not want to wear his shoes. Sometimes, I have to give myself the timeout, to clam down and find the patience.
Hubby and I were busy all Sunday, redoing the inside of my clothes cupboard.  I just do not understand deep shelves, that are too high to reach.  We moved my hanging space higher and then installed full extending drawers from the bottom up.  Now I can see all the things packed into the drawers and everything hanging. I can sit down and see everything and then I can actually wear all the clothes I was too lazy to wear, because they required a ladder.  Note I am average height, and not particularly short.
I have decided to give the Marie Kondo method of folding a chance.  Hubby took one look and said he was not packing my laundry into the cupboards anymore.  I must say it looks great. The folding really takes up less space and because I designed the drawers shallower, we fitted in more drawers. The standard shop fitted drawer sizes are too deep and waste space. Also, the fully extendable sliders make a difference, you can see everything. I must remember this the next time I design cupboards for a client.
Have a great day bloggies.

Courage.

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This school thing is so hard. For me.  Grade 1 has been such a jump forward.  I find myself struggling to let go and just let him do all the big boy things. I walk him to his class and then I have moments of anxiousness when I have to leave him there and walk away.  There is just this field of kids and I have to leave him there.  No adult to hand him over to.  I am not used to this.

There are teachers and high school prefects to watch over the kids…but I still feel a little anxious.  Will he find his friends? Will he be OK?

Then there are all the things they have to carry to school.  All those bags are bigger than he is.  He has to make new friends and he has to remember to bring his books home and there is homework (when they promised us there would be no homework).
HB has a cold at the moment and he has activities everyday after school, sometimes two.  I am worried for my little darling.  Is he going to manage all this.  He has to tie shoe laces.  He owns his first pair of lace up shoes.  He surprised me and he is able to tie them without help.  I see him in these long socks, lace up shoes, and collared shirt and my heart misses a beat because he is definitely going to go away and I know I cannot protect him from all those things out there.
On the other hand, HB seems to be fine.  He is getting everything done, he is finding his friends, he looks happy and he has not really complained, except to say, he does not have enough time to play.
How do mothers let go?  Where do you find the courage?

The diet.

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So it is actually time to really properly lose this weight that I have.  It just cannot go on anymore. We don’t eat a whole heap of junk…but the tea…I love it.  With milk and sugar and I just cannot do that without piling on the weight.

Hubby also decided that he needs to lose weight.  This is the first time that we both made the decision at the same time. And it has been working for three weeks.  I know it is early days yet, but it is so much easier to do this when you are both doing it at the same time.
I have managed 6ks and hubby 10kgs so far. I know it probably is not fat this early, but it is encouraging to see.
So we are doing the low carb thing.  I am not a fan of cutting out food groups, but I have to admit, it’s just lower, not out and it does seem to work.
Yesterday I ended up at the doctor.  I had been feeling bad for a few days, put it down to the diet and left it.  Yesterday it felt like a uti and I just upped and went to the doctor.  Turns out it is not the diet.  I was ready to give this diet up yesterday.  I do actually have a uti and I have been having fever etc and it is not just the diet. So we did some blood tests to rule out other things and to check if there are adverse effects from the diet.  The good thing, the doctor said that the diet is actually working and I should stick with it. The bad thing, this is the third time the lipids test shows high bad cholesterol.  It was already established that I have a genetic predisposition to high cholesterol but I have been avoiding statins. Since I am already on a diet, she said she would let it go for three months.  I do need to stick with this thing and test again in three months.
I am just not sure statins work.  I just don’t want to take them and I need to work extra hard at this diet thing.
I will call it a diet and not a lifestyle change, because I am not there yet. This diet was just an experiment for me, but it has proved to be something I actually do need to do for myself.
So let me see where it will go.  I am not convinced that I will be able to do this long term.  I do miss milk and I do sometimes just want a curry and rice…but I have committed to three months for now.
Today I feel well enough to add exercise and I just have to do it. I have seen my dad having heart attacks at my age and a triple heart bypass at 40.  I do not want to go down that road…it was such a tough time for my mother and I cannot put my family through that same thing.  My dad did not know, I do know.