Category Archives: Just random stuff

Just me.

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It has been a long time and I had too much going on to try and get the words down. HB has been sick on and off and it has been a little stressful. Theses childhood fevers are so scary to watch. I am not sure that the fancy digital thermometer is a good thing. Every time you see that high fever your heart lurches a little and you question yourself. This time I decided not to go to the doctor, because they always get stressed because the fever is so high and then they say they cannot see where the infection is, causing the fever. Then I have to sit in emergency waiting for the fever to come down (because once you get there, they refuse to allow you to leave until the fever is broken). Hubby and I managed it home, I hardly slept, but he ended up fine. He is happy and healthy and hopefully ready for school again (he has been on holiday for almost 4 weeks).

I have been busy with a friend who has been going through losing a family member and as a result, my sewing has stopped (and I need to have the costumes completed!) It was hard to watch her die, and I was very disturbed for days after. I realise that I have never seen a dead person that close, let alone stand there while their heart stopped. To see that machine zero, it was traumatic for me, and I was not even a part of that family. I can only imagine the grief they feel. I was glad to be there, and to be less emotionally involved, and able to help them after the death. Onto gladder times….

We need to organise HB’s birthday which is approaching in 2 weeks. Hubby and I decided that this year can be the Spur party and we will give ourselves a break. Everyone needs a Spur party at least once (or that is what we told ourselves). HB is very excited about it. He was never this excited about the parties we planned. I ran out at lunchtime yesterday and organised it with the Spur and I have to say, it is way way way cheaper than hosting it at home.
Hubby and I also need to go plan our part of my Dad’s birthday next week. We have a mini break, visiting with my family next week. We are having a big family lunch at my parents’ house, and each kid is doing their bit. Starters, main meal, dessert, tea. Hubby and I doing tea, which includes the birthday cake. I have decided to be kind to myself and give up the idea of making all the snacks myself. I am going to just buy it, because I need some quiet time. Shop bought stuff is not bad and they will travel better.

While I always knew I was very conservative, I did not know how extreme. The other day at work, there is a new guy. We are an office of women, so it is a little strange. I was busy earlier in the week updating drawings by hand and I was using a light table which is in a store space away from the general space. This guy kept popping in to talk to me and ask questions, and I realised I was very uncomfortable with him, alone in that little space. I looked for an excuse to pop out to my desk for a pencil, or ruler or something, because I was very uncomfortable with the situation. How do you handle something like that at the office? He was not doing anything to me, but I was very very uncomfortable. Do you just tell the person to leave you alone? Do you explain? Or avoid it like I was doing. I tried saying I was very busy and I would come help him later, but he did not get it.

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The cowardly dog.

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It has been a busy few weeks and I have a lot going on. I need to stop volunteering away my personal time. Busy sewing for the school concert currently. It is taking little longer than I thought it would. However, I am so enjoying it!

HB will be on holiday soon and it means a longer drive to do drop off in the mornings, however, working parents don’t have many options. I need to desperately do my own thing. Hubby says that I need to just do it…. But I am too afraid to just ditch my salary.

I cannot market myself as myself while I work for someone else. Just not ethical. My work contract does not say I cannot do private work, but I also cannot actively look for private work while working fulltime for someone else. All the work I have done up to now is via referrals from someone I have already worked with.

I just want to be the boss of my own time. I want to be able to go to all the soccer and cricket matches, I want to sew concert costumes, I want to do my own design work. I feel a little frustrated with myself. I am really good at what I do, but I lack courage.

I cannot see the way forward… and my lack of courage is blinding me.

TODAY IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!

Weekend stuff.

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On Saturday we cooked…really cooked.  We cooked 31 meals, which means even though we were tired, we are done for a whole month.  It took all of Saturday, and we hosted a playdate too.  It was a busy busy busy day.

A friend said she tried to cook like we do, but she failed and she is never doing it again.  I have to be honest and say it would be a big ask for one person to do this alone.  I would most likely not do it.  Hubby and I work it out together and we cook together and the rule is, clean as you go, so we do not sit with a huge pile of dirty dishes to do when we are tired after cooking.  We prefer to do it on a Saturday, so that we can get a break on the Sunday.

We also have a plan, written out, that we can work with and strike of as we go.  We also know the order we are cooking in, so that once the oven is hot, we cook everything that needs the oven, one after the other.  We also have the pans ready, the heavy duty foil and marker ready.  You have to label everything, include the date too.  Sometimes I might add something later, and you do not want food lying in the freezer for too long.

We cooked two dishes on Friday, while we were eating dinner.  I had got off work early and we decided to get a start on the stove top cooking.

The other way to do it, is to cook a double portion and build up your stash of meals over time, which I do sometimes.  Like, I will roast two chickens and freeze one.

In non food related news…

Sunday I was so sick, I spent the entire day in bed.  I only moved out of bed to use the toilet and have a shower.  Hubby brought food to me and I just stayed there….and I feel a heap better this morning.  I needed to ensure I was well for work and  I am.  I have not slept that much in a long time.

I knew I was feeling a little sick on Saturday, but I was too busy to get into being sick.  On Saturday I got into bed at 20h00 and I was done.  I awoke at about 02h00 on Sunday morning with the most incredible pain in my head and face.  I tried to blow my nose, but it did not help.  Eventually I went to sleep sitting up and it helped.  I think the sinuses where just unhappy and lying almost flat does not help.

I also managed to finish my costume design and price it out for the school.  I will make one prototype next weekend to work out the kinks. I just have not found a suitable bonnet pattern I am happy with.

HB is learning Zulu, which is great, but I don’t really speak Zulu myself, and everytime he needs to learn a new word, I have a bit of research and then I have to teach it to him.  I have not worked out how to get it into his head…currently we are just using repetition, but I need a better system. I try to find the easiest word, without any clicks in it and teach him those first…the Zulu teacher can teach the click words.  My knowledge of Zulu is greetings and then random vocabulary which I cannot really piece together…It would be great if I could actually speak the language.

Just sewing.

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I am having a little hyperventilating week about the concert costumes I volunteered to do.  I am not sure what I was thinking when I volunteered, however, it is too late now.  I blame hubby.  He needs to be there to hold my hand down. He sent me to the meeting alone.

To be honest, I am a little excited too.  I don’t have a girl to dress up, now I have 33 girls to dress.  I am going this weekend to work out the best fabrics and to make a costing for the school.  I have never sewn with tulle….anyone have any tips for me?  I am thinking long tutu type underskirts with gingham pinafores.

Why did I volunteer?  I have no time to set out tea for school events.  I also do not have time to arrange golf days and potjie days and carnivals.  I also don’t have any pull to arrange sponsors on the level of Maserati. Yes, these mom are phenomenal…they can get sponsors on that level.  So I sew concert costumes, because I love to sew, I don’t have a daughter to dress up, and I do need to do my bit.  Schools are communities at the end of the day.

I wish I had more time to sew, because I do love doing it.  I wish I had time to learn to do it properly.  I taught myself and I have no idea how to read patterns and to know which thread works with which fabric.  I learn by trial and error and a heap of internet research.

When I am all grown up, I want my own sewing room, where I can leave my things out, with a large table for cutting and piecing my things together.

The goddess.

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So it is week three with our new domestic goddess and a goddess she is.  The first week I made a list and had hubby stay late and discuss it with her…she did the list and a whole heap more.  I was blown away.  After that I decided to dispense with the list because this woman does not need to be micromanaged.  She knows what she is doing and she has a plan. I think I almost love her.  It is as if she can read my mind and extrapolate all the things I want done.

She even organised my kitchen drawers…like I would organise it, if I ever had the time or inclination to do it properly.

We have hundreds of books (I am not exaggerating, hubby and I have a mini library, and HB has his own).  She unpacked the books and dusted under them and on them and put them back on IN ORDER!

I always dreamed about doing the books, but it is such a huge task, I never have.

She picks up our stuff around the house and categorises them, and finds one spot for it.  She does the weird things, without me ever having asked.  I have never asked anyone to dust the shelves or clean inside the fridge or scrub out grout lines….but she just did it.

Thinking about this goddess (who I don’t really see, she only sees hubby sometimes), I think she is great at this house work thing, so I actually think she would do brilliantly in a better paying job.  I don’t think she will stay with us for very long, because her future holds better than cleaning my house.  I will miss her, because she is on my wave length and I almost love her.  I asked hubby to stay late today and to tell her that I almost love her.

The result of having her, is that I actually have weekends to do the things I want to do.  HB and I go out for our little picnics and play dates and I sew and crochet. Hubby and I can just be with each other, without cleaning something.

This weekend I am going to organise my sewing things.  The other thing:  When I invite people over, I do not have to rush about picking up and dusting. I can just invite people over and relax.  I am relaxed over the weekends, I am less snappy and resentful.  I don’t have to clean under the couches and scrub out the bathroom.

This lovely woman has changed my life and I wonder if she knows that she has.  Does she know that she should be running her own cleaning company or any company….she has organising skills, she is not just someone who cleans a house.