Category Archives: Just random stuff

I am angry at the world.

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Things that are bothering me right now:

  1. The school:  I just need them to get with the programme.  We pay huge amounts of money for them to teach our child, and I expect that if I follow the rules they set out, they too need to follow the rules.  I have let my dissatisfaction be known to them.
  2. The psychologist:  We all have personal lives and I understand that sometimes life happens.  When life happens and it affects my professional environment, I go out of my way to accommodate the meeting, etc. I have missed. She is not doing that and is making her personal problems my problems and is not accommodating the inconvenience she has caused in my life.
  3. Nissan: I had my car fixed there, only to find that the idiot technician/mechanic did not properly test drive the car.  They just let it run on whatever machine they have, which runs straight, not turns, hence they did not pick up the problem that they have now caused. And then the service advisor tells me the two parts are not related, like I am an idiot.  Of course the wheel bearings and CV joints are in the wheel hub, which they opened up and interfered with. I am female, not an idiot. I am not a mechanic, but I am not an idiot. Car had one problem and you fixed it, and now it has another problem, I do not need to be a mechanic, or male to work that out.
  4. Our local professional institute:  As per my previous blog, they have no thought of being inclusive. And while the manager is very competent, she drives me insane when she talks to us like we are five year olds, learning to read.
  5. My FIL: He is in my space.
  6. My Hubby: He is on call and every time that phone rings in the middle of the night I want to destroy it.  I just need to sleep without interruptions.
  7. The Trustees where I live:  They do not know the first thing about anything and think that being a trustee has given them autonomy over the complex. As soon as you disagree with them, they pull out the “We are the trustees, we know better and it is about majority vote”  Like really?  It is my money you are supposed to be spending, get out of my way.
  8. Myself:  I need to stop being so angry at the world and just let it go.
  9. The cats:  One is tearing up the place, the other has no backbone.
  10. The caretaker: He keeps sending bulk messages about stupid stuff.  I have now blocked him, because I cannot deal with that.  I do not need anyone else’s religion or political views forced down my throat.
  11. My sisters:  I have a job which I work at very hard and I am good at.  Stop calling me a plan drawer, it is offensive.

I am so negative about everything.

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I do not often bother with these types of things, but since I have become a news junkie and had my eyes forcibly opened at my last job, I notice a lot more.

There was a two day conference organised by our local institute.  It was something I had been looking forward to for a while.  It was going to be one of those inspirational conferences, the type I love.
The reality of the world we live in, is that racism and sexism is a real thing. The institutes have been pushing women in the field, which I fully agree with.
Out of 19 presenters, there were only two woman, one Indian man, and one of the women happened to be black.  Really?  Do we really call ourselves inclusive?  Is this array of speaker all that could be mustered?  Surely if we are trying to encourage woman in the profession, we should give them more opportunities, and I know very many woman who would have had a lot to offer at this conference. The other reason that I paid such close attention the line up, was that at the last conference, one of the speakers had pointed out the skewed makeup of almost all white male speakers.
I am not saying that white males have nothing to offer, of course they do, but so do women and people who are not white.
I am an Indian female, and there are not very many of us in our profession. Everytime I go to a site meeting or just about any meeting for that matter, I have to earn respect on that team, which is just taken as given for the males in the team, no matter what their age.
I have been at meetings with a student (who I take along as a learning experience for him) to find that he will be addressed instead of myself. It is assumed he is the white male, so he must be the one who knows everything, when it is very obvious this child only started shaving in the last few years and does not even have the confidence to stand up straight. The attitude comes from men of any race.
At my last office, I was shocked to find that they considered black people not good enough to work there and it was something they would never consider.  Also, the males were paid more than the women and while the women did not receive increases because of the uncertain economic climate, the men receive yearly salary increases. Even white males with lesser qualifications than the women were paid more for less work responsibility. I was shocked, sad and left there. They are the reason why BBBEE still exists.
The joke of the whole conference was that it was to promote ideas and thinking outside the box.  If only they had thought outside the box when putting the presenters together.

The weekend.

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This weekend was lovely.  It was busy busy busy on Saturday morning….getting cars serviced, library stops, shopping and all the admin of our lives. But it was fine.  We were together.

Also on the cards was getting a new set of worksheets done for HB.  Lol, the guy at the printing store even asked if I was a teacher.  I am determined to help my child if I can.
I have been working on being gentle with my baby, because he is my baby. The worksheets are great, because for the days I do not have the patience to be nice, he can quietly do a worksheet. The nice thing is that they are like games, not worksheets.
Sunday we enjoyed a lazy lunch/afternoon at one of local dams.  The picnic was lovely, and we really had to drag HB home. He is such a nature child.  He loves being outside and it is a pity we do not do it more often.
Honeybear loves the library and I still need to get him to understand that there is a limit on the number of books we are allowed to take out.  I am so happy he loves the library as much as I do.  I have, unfortunately, finished my two library books over the weekend.
Honeybear needs more confidence.  I am trying to help him.  He often will not try something because he is too afraid to get it wrong.  Telling him is OK to make mistakes does not work.  I try to push him a little so he can see that he can do it too.
I get him to read words after we have a read a book.  This way he can see that he can do it too.  I have also taken to leaving him alone with his work, so that he has to try it alone. It feels like that whole “let your child cry it out” sleep training. I tried the cry it out once, Hubby and I were so traumatised, we never tried it again. We try to let HB lead the way.  I tell myself it is a development thing, just like learning to walk.  You can help and guide, but you cannot force.
He is back in his own room again.  For how long, I do not know.  He keeps ending up back in our bed, and to be honest, I prefer him in our bed.  I worry less.  Hubby has accepted that I will walk between our rooms during the night, because I am nuts like that.
Honeybear is getting better with the reading thing…whether this is translating to the classroom, I try not to worry about.  We have already made that decision to let the process of the psychologist take its course and time. I am concerned with keeping my child nurtured.
Telkom is driving me nuts, but they it periodically, so nothing new there. Overcharges on our account, I am not prepared to pay.  Apparently I signed up for a new contract…they must produce this contract, because I certainly have not.
Back to work.

Oats and tea

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I have been reading quite a bit about this whole overnight soaked oats thing and decided to give the peanut butter one a try.  Nothing can go wrong with peanut butter, I love the stuff. Added the oats, milk, yoghurt and peanut butter….it was OK.  I was disappointed because I was expecting creamy yumminess and ended up with icky oat soup.

I understand it was my fault, and perhaps I should try again  with less liquid.  Please no one say chia seeds.  If you read the internet, you cannot make overnight oats without chia seeds.  It is like the miracle ingredient. I am not buying chia seeds, because I do not want to.
This morning I cooked my oats in the microwave, left it to cool and them added the frozen berries and yoghurt and the creamy yumminess I was expecting was there.  It was cold and fruity and lovely.  I think I am going to stick with my cooked version.  It is getting to winter and hot oats will probably be better.
Note, I used to hate oats, I would gag just at the smell.  I would never touch the stuff.  However, I have grown to have a peaceful relationship with oats.  I cannot, in good conscience, make Honeybear eat oats every morning if I refuse to touch the stuff myself.
I am hoping the oats will also work its miracles on me and drop my cholesterol a bit.  I seem to have genetically  predisposed high cholesterol.  Not dangerously high at this stage, but on its way there. All of my Dad’s side of the family have heart disease, every single one of them.  Looks like I may be joining the crowd.
On the oats, I also cannot eat it without something sweet.  Without the sweetness I struggle to get it down.  So I always end up adding fruit to make it nice.
On a  good note, I have managed to cut sugar completely out my tea (and other beverages).  It has been eight months.  Tea has always been my thing.  I love it.  If I am stressed, it makes me happy.  If I need to relax, I drink tea.  If something is wrong, I drink tea.  However, without the sugar I have been struggling, as I do not like it.  Eight months later, I have managed to like it again. I will not lie and say I love it, because I still miss the sugar, but I can like it and relax again.
Also, I now drink more rooibos than I used to.  Maybe because rooibos is better without milk and sugar in the first place.  But I think it is also, because rooibos is nothing like my normal tea and I can drink it without unhappy memories.
Yes I know I am a bit nuts.  Tea…..I love you.

Volcanos

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The last few weeks….and I cannot wait for them to be over.  I remember how hard I worked this time last year.  It was the heatwave, and I had five weeks, every day of solid site inspections. It was tough, but I did it.
This year is equally as tough, not physically, but emotionally.  The bosses seem to have gone slightly mad this year, and it seems to be worsening as we get closer to the end of the year.  This year has taught me a lot about the kind of person that I am.  I am not good at dealing with the emotional nature of other people.  I am happier when everyone is on even keel, without their emotions spilling all over the place.  I just do not want to know about it.
Makes me insensitive?  My emotions are always on a tight rein.  I generally save my spilling out when I am in private, or with hubby.  He is the only one, actually.  Even he does not see it all….I tend to keep it to myself….and this is why all the emotional stress that spills out in the office is making me so uncomfortable.
I just feel that this is an office environment, and that we need to deal with this stuff outside the office, not over and onto everyone else. It feels like a volcano has erupted all over us and we have to grin and bear it while we are being covered with ash, lava and falling rock.
Well, it is learning experience, and I hope that I discover some tools to help me deal with it.
I had a chat with Honeybear’s teacher yesterday morning about his progress, and she was very confident that he is managing fine and there is no need to keep him back a year.  She said that after the shaky start to the year, he has found his spot and is able to keep up and has achieved the milestones required of him.  She also complimented hubby and I on the home tutoring.  She says it is evident in his class work, that we have been working with him at home (it is good to know we are all managing to get it right).
On a sad note for my little one…his bestie is leaving the school.  The teacher wanted to mention it to me because she said the two are so attached, he is sure to miss her.  He is very protective over this girl, the teacher said to us.  I was never one for besties, so it was nice to see my little one managing where I had failed.  I am sure he will build other lasting relationships, as the kids will grow together.  They are only five!
Our kitchen revamp is almost done and I cannot wait to go cook something with my new stove.  We have been planning this revamp for a year, and it is lovely to see it finally coming together.
Back to grind stone!