Tag Archives: family time

Making memories.

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We have not had much free time over the weekend and while we still had a birthday party to do the weekend past, I refused to do any playdates or parties for Sunday.

Sunday HB and I packed up our lunch, a set of board games, our picnic blanket and went off to the sandpit.
We are very lucky to have really great public places in the estate we live in.  The play equipment is good, the grass is obscenely green and if you want to swim or play tennis, soccer, cricket…you can.  HB and I just lolled on the grass playing chess and snakes&ladders.  He played a bit in the sand and jungle gym, I drank my coffee, we ate lunch, we cuddled and played “I spy”
It was great.  It has been such a long time since we have done this. We used to stop there every afternoon during summer time.  What happened that we are so busy?
Hubby is working twelve hour days, HB has stuff to do all the time, I am supposed to be working 24 hours, but someone has to make sure we have clean clothes, etc.  My boss asked me to stop sleeping this morning.
We are grateful that we have work, but I think our little family is running all the time, and it feels like a marathon.
I am beginning to think that we don’t know how to stop?  Maybe you get so used to the busyness, that you think it should be like that all the time.
HB just asks me: ” What are we doing today?” He knows we have stuff to do everyday.  The poor child of mine.
If I lost my diary, it would not go down well for me.
Sitting there with HB made me realise that maybe he won’t want to do this much longer.  I am sure he won’t always want to have picnics with his mama.  However, I can give him good memories to look back on.  Everything does not have to be a production and we need to stop waiting for the perfect weather, time, day…we just need to do the now.  It is not always easy to remember.  You are responsible for your own happiness.  I remember with fondness the ad hoc picnics with my parents, or just a drive to the beach (how I miss the beach).
My mom would make sure we bathed and dressed in pjs early.  My dad would arrive home and we would pile into the car to go have dinner at the beach.  We would just sit in the car, but in view of the sea and sand. I know it sounds a bit odd, but we all loved it.
Other times, picnics would be a huge production (and they still are at my parents’ house).  The weather forecast would be checked numerous times, things gathered, everyone would wake early to prep and make food…and there was heaps of food.
Busy bees can still make time for memories and happiness.  Nothing is more important.
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I love love.

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I remember the reason I started a blog, way back in the day was because of Valentines day.  I remember reading all these blogs that just hated Valentines day and said how they never celebrate it. I love Valentines day.

I know it is commercialised, but which occasion is not commercialised?  I feel it has to be what you make of it for yourself.  I love the celebration of love.  Surely you are a bit of a Scrooge not to celebrate love?  I don’t restrict myself to romantic love.  As I grew older I felt the need to remember love in all its forms and that needed to be celebrated. Our world definitely needs love.
This year HB said he had a letter for us but we could not see it until today.  He woke early, by himself to get it out and give it to us.  It is a sweet love bug card with a photo inside of him, on the first day of G1.
I cooked our Valentines dinner last night. It just needs to be reheated tonight. It is basically lasagna without the pasta.  I used aubergine instead.  Perhaps it is then eggplant parmigiana?  I subbed the flour carbs in the white sauce by using a puree of cauliflower.  I know I said I would never do these weird things, but pureed cauliflower with fried onions, garlic and nutmeg is surprisingly close to the real thing. It worked.  I have not told hubby about my white sauce, I want him to work it out for himself and it will be a good indication of its authenticity, because hubby always makes the white sauce in our house.
I was going to do cheesecake for dessert, but it did not work out.  I over whipped the cream, and then it separated. It was just not coming together and then it completely separated.  No saving that.  The low carb base tastes amazing though (sunflower seeds, dessicated coconut, dark cocoa, and butter).  I will give it a try again, with a different brand of cream. I can make fridge cheesecake in my sleep, so I am not sure what happened last night.
HB is looking forward to the dinner.  I told him will do the whole candles and flowers thing.  He has chocolate for dessert (because he refuses to eat frozen yoghurt and I don’t want him having the artificial sweetener in the cheesecake base).
HB told me he wants to marry me this morning.  I tried to explain about how I am already married to Papa, but he was having none of that.
We gave chocolates to his teachers and a little posy of frangipani to his class teacher. I am so proud of my frangipani, it is out of my very own tree.
Today I remember and appreciate the love relationships that I have in my life.  I have a full family of husband and child and parents and sisters and nephews and cousins and aunts and uncles.  I have so many people who I can turn to, who will be there if I need them to be.  I have friends I can rely on.  Today is about remembering and appreciating these relationships and giving thanks for a life filled with love.

New year stuff

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The new year begins with optimism and all good thoughts.  I had a lovely, and extremely busy break.  Two weeks of working very hard and ensuring kids were fed, bathed and happy.  Then one week of busy sight-seeing with our little family of three.

It was nice to sight see in the city I grew up in, and show it to hubby.  This is the first time we have managed to take time off together for a whole week in Durban (bar our wedding almost ten years ago).
Honeybear loved being part of a big family.  I loved reconnecting with all of our family and this year we really made a big effort on the family gatherings.
Hubby and I spent time together, really spent time together.  We did not really do a date like we planned, only because we did not know what to do with ourselves without HB, which is a little silly. We will work more on that one.
I loved having my nephews around and spending time with them.  I loved doing crafty things with the kids and making them weird lunches their moms don’t make. Haha, I think I loved being the favourite aunt all holiday.
This holiday I made lists of things to do, to get the maximum done, family activities done, crafts with the kids, and I forgot about rest time…which means my holiday was way busier than work time.
But it is back to work this week and things are already busy and I find myself only having ticked of one thing of my list from yesterday (it is a long list, and this is my pattern…and then I get going).
Our brains are weird like that.  I will make my list and start on it…to find something I can’t work out, like some retaining wall levels or something like that.  I will abandon it and continue to something else, but my lovely brain continues to work it out in the background, and then I suddenly get it.  Our brains are so amazingly made, that we can do such things. it is one of those things they tell you at school….if you cannot work it out, move onto the next problem, instead of wasting time.
I have no big new year’s resolutions, goals, plans…I just want to be happy and good. I want to be better at being me, which is not something I can just do in one sitting, it is going to take time, and I plan on being gentle and kind to myself.
This year I have also taken to planning HB too…he has a full schedule, I don’t want hm rushing from one thing to the other.  His quiet time and fun needs to be planned in, so we do not forget it.
We received a report from the school ed. psych. yesterday…if it was not email, I would have chucked it in the bin. I am not doing that to him again this year.  He has proven that he can do what needs to be done, just leave him to it.
Hubby is on a weightloss journey.  I am helping him…to try to get him to stick with it, instead of adhoc. It will help me eat better too (though I have given up this weight thing…I am going to be happy with me.  I refuse to be hungry.)

The weekend.

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This weekend was lovely.  It was busy busy busy on Saturday morning….getting cars serviced, library stops, shopping and all the admin of our lives. But it was fine.  We were together.

Also on the cards was getting a new set of worksheets done for HB.  Lol, the guy at the printing store even asked if I was a teacher.  I am determined to help my child if I can.
I have been working on being gentle with my baby, because he is my baby. The worksheets are great, because for the days I do not have the patience to be nice, he can quietly do a worksheet. The nice thing is that they are like games, not worksheets.
Sunday we enjoyed a lazy lunch/afternoon at one of local dams.  The picnic was lovely, and we really had to drag HB home. He is such a nature child.  He loves being outside and it is a pity we do not do it more often.
Honeybear loves the library and I still need to get him to understand that there is a limit on the number of books we are allowed to take out.  I am so happy he loves the library as much as I do.  I have, unfortunately, finished my two library books over the weekend.
Honeybear needs more confidence.  I am trying to help him.  He often will not try something because he is too afraid to get it wrong.  Telling him is OK to make mistakes does not work.  I try to push him a little so he can see that he can do it too.
I get him to read words after we have a read a book.  This way he can see that he can do it too.  I have also taken to leaving him alone with his work, so that he has to try it alone. It feels like that whole “let your child cry it out” sleep training. I tried the cry it out once, Hubby and I were so traumatised, we never tried it again. We try to let HB lead the way.  I tell myself it is a development thing, just like learning to walk.  You can help and guide, but you cannot force.
He is back in his own room again.  For how long, I do not know.  He keeps ending up back in our bed, and to be honest, I prefer him in our bed.  I worry less.  Hubby has accepted that I will walk between our rooms during the night, because I am nuts like that.
Honeybear is getting better with the reading thing…whether this is translating to the classroom, I try not to worry about.  We have already made that decision to let the process of the psychologist take its course and time. I am concerned with keeping my child nurtured.
Telkom is driving me nuts, but they it periodically, so nothing new there. Overcharges on our account, I am not prepared to pay.  Apparently I signed up for a new contract…they must produce this contract, because I certainly have not.
Back to work.

Dates and other stuff.

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Hubby and I had our meeting with the educational psychologist this morning.  The relief I feel is so good.  She said to us that she has not spoken to the teacher as she prefers to work without preconceived notions. (I feel better).  She asked us questions about Honeybear and the type of child that he is and all the little things to get to know our little boy from our point of view.

Then she went on to tell us how she would go about her assessment.
The first thing was to meet with us, then Honeybear and also to specifically observe him in class and with his friends.  Also, it would take a few weeks because she had to get to know our child and understand the person he is (big sigh of relief). She also mentioned that sometimes these problems are nothing more than a personality clash between teacher and child ( I am so glad she mentioned that)
After this meeting I feel like I should have sessions with her, as she is so calming and seems to understand the worries and anxieties I feel as a parent.
She asked that we prepare Honeybear for meeting with her next week, and the one thing we might have to do is a bloodtest to rule out physical issues that may be impacting on his classwork.  She did say it would be something that may come, not sure at this stage, and she would help prepare him, should the need arise.  Having them draw blood is not going to be easy for me.
Anyway, I feel better about this whole thing and let us see what happens.
Tomorrow we have the soccer morning and I do not look forward to it.  It is such a long morning for all of us and by the second match we all want to go home and the kids do not want to play the third match.  It is being hosted by another school and they really do not serve nice coffee in proper glass/ porcelain mugs/cups. I know it sounds silly, but you need the coffee to get you through the morning.  It starts early and I just cannot drink out that white polystyrene cup.  I must remember to take my own coffee.
Our school sets up coffee tables with cookies and cups and saucers and mugs and water with lemon and  ice.  Tea and coffee and choices about the type you want.  I guess we are a little spoiled at out school.  It is soccer after all, not a coffee bar.
Honeybear and I are on our own, as Hubby is working this weekend.  I do not mind the time on our own, as it is mothers day and we can do our own dates for the weekend. I am thinking, movie picnic this evening, and then after soccer we may both need a nap.  I am going to make pancakes for Sunday breakfast ( I have a pancake monster on the weekends).  And perhaps a proper outdoor picnic for Sunday afternoon.
Hubby and I have instituted date nights.  Proper ones (it is home or Spur, but at his stage babysitting is just too expensive to on a regular basis).  We wait for Honeybear to go to sleep and then we can watch a grownup movie.  The advantage of the home/Spur date is that we the first part of the evening is a whole family date.
Consciously spending time together is good for all relationships.