Category Archives: Woman

Life as just me and my personal journey

Now what?

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So after 4 months on this diet, I have gone down 3 sizes, lost 15kgs and…my cholesterol levels are higher than when I started.

I eat way more veggies, I do not eat excessive fats, but I do eat full cream everything.  I do not eat meat excessively either.  My typical day is a flaxseed muffin for breakfast or seed crackers I make myself.  Besides the natural oil in the seeds, the only fat in there is an egg in the muffin.
I eat a salad for lunch with 1 tablespoon mayo.
Dinner is the only meal where things are different and I am not so strict.  It still contains veggies or/and meat…but again, iti s not junk or bought food.  I cook it.
I do not eat snacks.   I do not eat sugar.  In the four months I was on the diet, I cheated four time: 2 mini quiches, a slice of cheesecake (which did not stay long, I was ill after), and one small slice of pizza.
I am not sure what else I should not be eating.  I eat very high fibre already with the seeds and cruciferous veggies (cabbage, kale, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower).  Yes, I eat fat, but I did not think it was too much.
I feel like giving up. I feel like going off and making myself a big cup of tea with normal dairy full cream milk and giving up on this whole thing.  I will just go take the statin drugs, with all the side effects it has and the risk of birth defects if I ever get pregnant via an oopsie.
I will just take the drugs, and eat whatever and just give this up, because it is not working.
I love fruit, and I have even given up eating those because of the high sugar.  I was about to start eating berries and melon again, but I just don’t know.  Is this worth it?
I have a family history of cardiac disease and high cholesterol.  So I know there is genetics in here I can do nothing about. I did, however, think that if I tried really hard, I could make a difference and delay those statins until I was a bit older and really not going to ever be pregnant.  I think for me, the risks to a child if I was ever pregnant is the biggest thing.   I am 37 now and I know I do not want anymore children, but the fact is, I can have children still and I do all the things that could make children.  Yes I use contraception, but this is not 100%.  It is very effective, but not 100%, and I do forget sometimes.  I am not ready for tube cuts and tube ties also slip open sometimes.
Hubby is not about to get tubes cut either.
Even though I decided one child is enough (I decided, not hubby…I made him think it is what he wants), sometimes I still want another three kids.
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How I hate thee.

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There is this thing called housework and I hate it.  I am not sure how other woman feel about it, but I hate it.

I feel like a waste a large part of my life doing housework.  I have actually taken to writing it up in my diary and striking things off my list.  My husband is not lazy, but housework does not bother him in the same way it bothers me.  I cannot stand to have dishes in the sink or things lying about on the counter.  I need the sheets washed at a minimum of weekly.  I have to clean the stove and oven and fridge and freezer.  I have to move the couches and clean the bathroom and dust window sills.  It bothers me that I cannot reach my windows to wash them.
I don’t like things lying out of place.  This unsettles me and I cannot relax.  If I plan on having guests over, I feel like I need to clean more.  All of this creates stress in my life and I hate housework…because no matter how much I clean and tidy, it is never enough.  Yes, we get domestic help every second week, but it is not enough.  There are things that are beyond the service and they just don’t get it all done and I cannot understand why.  Even with help, I still have to do laundry because their service does not include any laundry.  I still change my own sheets and wash them.  I still clean the fridge and the oven and the stove.  I still have to wash out the draining rack and I still have to wash the bin and the patio floors and move the couches to clean up under them.  Those things never get done and that is what I want done.  I can sweep floors and wash dishes.  I don’t want help with those things.
I want someone to take down the curtains and wash and hang them back up.  I want my light switches cleaned and all canvasses on  the walls dusted. I want  my doors wiped down and the splashback at the stove cleaned.  I want all the weird things cleaned.  I can clean my own bathroom and I do.  I want the skirtings and dado rails cleaned.  I want all my books to be dusted and returned to shelves.  I want the slip covers cleaned.
How do you get a domestic service that does all this?  The current service we use is not working for me.  They asked what I wanted and I said what I wanted, but it does not get done. To make matters worse the last lady went home with our house keys and then I had to call her boss and get it back.  Then we had the expense of changing our locks because we don’t know the lady and she had out keys for 24 hours. Then I come home to find my furniture rearranged my lights on, the vacuum cleaner left outside in the rain and the chores not done.  I was told by her boss that she is excellent.  She may have been having an off day at our place.  Up to now, I am still trying to locate things she stuck into drawers and corners.  I am not sure why she did it, because putting things into drawers was something I specifically asked not to be done.  She hung up the sopping wet cloths against HB’s dry white school uniform.  I was irritated, but I did not complain, I just did not book another service.
How does everyone else live with this.  I do the fifteen minute tidy up, but I cannot seem to keep on the top of it anymore. Maybe I am being obsessive.  I just want a clean house.

Diet progress and the child.

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One month down on this diet.  A total weight loss of 8kg and an average of 2cm loss on parts of my body.  I have to wait two more months to do blood tests and see the affect on my body in other ways. I think I am happy with that.  At least I am getting smaller and I feel fine.  I have not starved or felt icky and dizzy.  I have to admit the first week was not easy:  I felt ill (well eventually found I actually was ill, so may not have been the diest at all.)

I have added back exercise, since I have been feeling better.  So 30 minutes.  I must say I have not been finding it easy to make time for those 30 minutes.  I have announced to my family it is my 30 minutes and  I am taking it for myself. I try to do it last thing or first thing in the day. It has also kick started hubby to do some exercise too.  His a whole lot different from mine, as for now, I am just doing basic cardio, until I feel more fit to try anything else.
HB has been such a pleasure, that darling child.  Some days he can be so sweet and cooperative, that I wonder where that terrorist inside him lives?  He is one of those children who takes the time to notice a new shirt or earrings and compliments me.  He will tell me how much he loves me.  He is a child that loves to be touched. He will notice that his room has been tidied away.  He will offer to help clean.
 And some days, I wonder if I have been gifted with the patience to deal with the moods and tears.  I need to learn to listen and be sensitive to avoid these moods.  Sometimes I feel that he just wants drama.  His sandwich is not cut exactly right, his shoes are missing, he wants a specific teddy bear, he wants to bath, and not shower.  He does not want to wear his shoes. Sometimes, I have to give myself the timeout, to clam down and find the patience.
Hubby and I were busy all Sunday, redoing the inside of my clothes cupboard.  I just do not understand deep shelves, that are too high to reach.  We moved my hanging space higher and then installed full extending drawers from the bottom up.  Now I can see all the things packed into the drawers and everything hanging. I can sit down and see everything and then I can actually wear all the clothes I was too lazy to wear, because they required a ladder.  Note I am average height, and not particularly short.
I have decided to give the Marie Kondo method of folding a chance.  Hubby took one look and said he was not packing my laundry into the cupboards anymore.  I must say it looks great. The folding really takes up less space and because I designed the drawers shallower, we fitted in more drawers. The standard shop fitted drawer sizes are too deep and waste space. Also, the fully extendable sliders make a difference, you can see everything. I must remember this the next time I design cupboards for a client.
Have a great day bloggies.

The diet.

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So it is actually time to really properly lose this weight that I have.  It just cannot go on anymore. We don’t eat a whole heap of junk…but the tea…I love it.  With milk and sugar and I just cannot do that without piling on the weight.

Hubby also decided that he needs to lose weight.  This is the first time that we both made the decision at the same time. And it has been working for three weeks.  I know it is early days yet, but it is so much easier to do this when you are both doing it at the same time.
I have managed 6ks and hubby 10kgs so far. I know it probably is not fat this early, but it is encouraging to see.
So we are doing the low carb thing.  I am not a fan of cutting out food groups, but I have to admit, it’s just lower, not out and it does seem to work.
Yesterday I ended up at the doctor.  I had been feeling bad for a few days, put it down to the diet and left it.  Yesterday it felt like a uti and I just upped and went to the doctor.  Turns out it is not the diet.  I was ready to give this diet up yesterday.  I do actually have a uti and I have been having fever etc and it is not just the diet. So we did some blood tests to rule out other things and to check if there are adverse effects from the diet.  The good thing, the doctor said that the diet is actually working and I should stick with it. The bad thing, this is the third time the lipids test shows high bad cholesterol.  It was already established that I have a genetic predisposition to high cholesterol but I have been avoiding statins. Since I am already on a diet, she said she would let it go for three months.  I do need to stick with this thing and test again in three months.
I am just not sure statins work.  I just don’t want to take them and I need to work extra hard at this diet thing.
I will call it a diet and not a lifestyle change, because I am not there yet. This diet was just an experiment for me, but it has proved to be something I actually do need to do for myself.
So let me see where it will go.  I am not convinced that I will be able to do this long term.  I do miss milk and I do sometimes just want a curry and rice…but I have committed to three months for now.
Today I feel well enough to add exercise and I just have to do it. I have seen my dad having heart attacks at my age and a triple heart bypass at 40.  I do not want to go down that road…it was such a tough time for my mother and I cannot put my family through that same thing.  My dad did not know, I do know.

It was too long to reply in a comment…

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I wrote that post about offering lifts…and the reply was too long…..

I know things are terrible in terms of scams and crime in our country. But sometimes there is that person that tugs at your heart and you feel like you are supposed to help.
I used to often give people lifts and I stopped when HB came along, because as many have said, safety first. I have a family to think of.

But that day, if I was able to safely stop, I would have. I just felt, that this was just a mother struggling through the rain. Of course I know nothing, it never crossed my mind she and the child would do anything bad to me. Even when I wrote the post, it never crossed my mind about crime and scams, until the comments. Hubby often tells me I am far too naive about some things, which he finds strange in a woman who is so sure about just about everything.

I feel very sad about that lady and that is where the post came from. Hubby did not understand why helping her would cross my mind, and I could not understand where he was coming from. I think it is just one of those situations you have to be in and make the judgement call that your heart is at peace with. Driving on, was not the right thing for my heart, because I feel I could have found a place to stop, or other people would have been ok if I stopped in the road for a few minutes. It bothers me.

I do understand the argument for a dangerous situation, but I do judge myself as having made the wrong choice in that situation.

I should have helped her…here was me driving along in my brand new car, happy that it has a high ground clearance and the puddles where no problem, and there was the two walking without even the benefit of a second umbrella.

I am not here to judge anyone about anything…I often write posts that are to help me resolve something going on with me.