Category Archives: Woman

Life as just me and my personal journey

It was too long to reply in a comment…

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I wrote that post about offering lifts…and the reply was too long…..

I know things are terrible in terms of scams and crime in our country. But sometimes there is that person that tugs at your heart and you feel like you are supposed to help.
I used to often give people lifts and I stopped when HB came along, because as many have said, safety first. I have a family to think of.

But that day, if I was able to safely stop, I would have. I just felt, that this was just a mother struggling through the rain. Of course I know nothing, it never crossed my mind she and the child would do anything bad to me. Even when I wrote the post, it never crossed my mind about crime and scams, until the comments. Hubby often tells me I am far too naive about some things, which he finds strange in a woman who is so sure about just about everything.

I feel very sad about that lady and that is where the post came from. Hubby did not understand why helping her would cross my mind, and I could not understand where he was coming from. I think it is just one of those situations you have to be in and make the judgement call that your heart is at peace with. Driving on, was not the right thing for my heart, because I feel I could have found a place to stop, or other people would have been ok if I stopped in the road for a few minutes. It bothers me.

I do understand the argument for a dangerous situation, but I do judge myself as having made the wrong choice in that situation.

I should have helped her…here was me driving along in my brand new car, happy that it has a high ground clearance and the puddles where no problem, and there was the two walking without even the benefit of a second umbrella.

I am not here to judge anyone about anything…I often write posts that are to help me resolve something going on with me.

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Would you stop?

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Pretoria has been having a large amount of rain.  The ground is pretty soaked and there is a lot of surface run off.  Yesterday I was driving home.  It was terrible.  The visibility was low.  I was driving uphill and the road was like a small river.  Everyone was driving quite slow, trying to get through this terrible rush hour raining traffic.

I eventually got to the flat area and closer to HB’s school…just two more problem intersections to get through.  There is a little spruit that runs under the road.  These flood when it rains. It was not at a dangerous level yesterday afternoon, cars were able to drive through safely. However, there was a lot of moving water in that section of the road. There was bumper to bumper slow moving traffic in both directions of this single lane in each direction road. And walking through the spruit flooded area was a mother with an umbrella with her little girl.  The little girl was almost up to her knees in water. There is no pavement here, just a grass verge normally.
NOT ONE PERSON IN A CAR GAVE THEM A LIFT.
I was on the wrong side going in the opposite direction and I felt it was not safe to stop and try to get their attention.  However, I did not stop either.  I came back down that road to look for them after I fetched HB. I think they had made their way to the petrol station, so I never found them.
What kind of horrible people are we that we just drive past a mother and a child, struggling through the water, in the pouring rain, ans we do not let them into our car.
The traffic was at a snail’s pace and no one on that side of the road would have been put out to stop.  They could have safely stopped without disturbing traffic and just given them a lift to a safer part of the road.
What kind of people are we?

I just need this post, for me.

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I will do the party post, I just need to collate the photos…I promise ladies.  Today I want to talk about something else that has been at the forefront of my mind.

There are all my blog posts about the school and educational psychologists, etc.I have been through it all.  The school said, we listened and then had to make the best decision for our child.  I will not allow anyone else to decide for us.  It is hard to decide and stand strong in the face of a “professional opinion”
We had a long meeting with the school principal, psychologist and teacher.  I aired all my unhappiness and the way in which things have been going and basically it was a meeting for the principal to cover her staff.
Hubby and I were clear that the contrast in the school services and the services we paid for was miles apart, hence we have no faith in their abilities.  We thanked them for bringing HB’s “deficiencies” to our attention. I also made it clear that they were lying about some stuff and I had had enough about this.
HB will progress to the next grade.  We have had him tested, he is receiving support for his “deficiencies.”  He is above average academically and between the private educational psychologist, and as parents, we know he is emotionally ready too.  For the sensitive child we have, keeping him back another year may not be the best thing.  Only you as the parent can know your child holistically.  Only you will understand their intricacies, their sensitivities, the things that make them happy and the things that make them sad and scared.  Do not be overwhelmed by all the professionals out there telling you the type of person your child is and what they think your child needs.  I am not saying ignore and not listen.  You should listen to all the separate pieces of information, but at the end of the day, make a decision you know is best for your child.
We have carefully thought about this.  Any delays related to sensory issues, have not translated to the academics.  He is not missing out on school work because of these apparent sensory issues.  Also, he is receiving therapy for these things, every single day.  The emotional problems cited by the teacher has only happened with the teacher.  Not ever at aftercare, not ever for the month he spent at another school over the holidays, not ever at home or anywhere else, but that teacher’s classroom.  In our opinion, the sooner he is out of there, the better.  I am sure she is an excellent teacher, but she is not the right fit for my child.
We will not be forced by any of them because they tell us their business is children and they know what they are talking about.  They have attached a label to my child and now that they cannot say he is behind academically, they say he has emotional problems.  Not sure what they are, but they are there. I advise, keep notes of every single meeting you ever have.  Write them down, because we as parents become emotional and forget. Just rite it all down.  Write down how you are feeling.
I know holding children back an extra year in Grade 0 works wonders for many children.  I was one of those kids that waited to go to school because of a late birthday.  I flew through school.  It was a breeze.  But socially it was always a problem.  I will not have HB have to do that when it is not entirely necessary. In his case, I do not think it will benefit him.  It is not as if they are going to create a special academic programme for him.  He is already becoming bored with some of the current programme, so what will happen next year when it is all the same thing?  He is just going to end up being a child with behaviour problems. he is going to act up because he is bored.  He is going to be upset when his friends move on.  I know he will get over it eventually, but why put him through it in the first place.
Be strong parents.  You love your child and your decisions come from a place of intense love for these little human beings.  Listen to the educational professional, but stand strong in your love and do the best thing for your child.  Your child is not a statistic, your child is not a number, your child is yours to love and protect.

The weekend reflection.

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I sit here on Sunday evening and reflect on the weekend. It has been a busy one for us.  HB had his first playdate without us.  I was a little apprehensive, he was a little apprehensive, but we all were fine and he loved it.

While he was at this playdate we spoke to another psychologist for an outside assessment.  I just cannot rest without knowing that we have tried everything to find out where is the problem and what we cab do. Hopefully, but the end of this month, we have all the information we need to make a decision.

We then had to attend  school event and I was nearly ready to fall over by the time we arrived home.  I had started the day feeling nauseous from an incredible headache which then intensified further and a day in the sun did not help one little bit.

Today, Sunday, I worked all day from six this morning.  I have been holed up in HB’s room, working away and I still feel like I have a ton to do.  No matter, by the end of tomorrow I shall have a set of documentation ready to go.

I still managed to fit in a reading session with HB.  We have exhausted the school  guide and now we have moved onto the consonants.  Even the psychologist said we should not worry about this academic thing.  She said he sounds fine and will specifically check these things for us.  At least she bothered to find out what is our expectation from all this.

Onto the new week.  I shall be in the office at 6am to make sure that my work is done by three tomorrow afternoon.  It feels like an exam and I just need ot make it through, which I know I can.

Have a great week bloggies, we owe it to ourselves.

I am angry at the world.

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Things that are bothering me right now:

  1. The school:  I just need them to get with the programme.  We pay huge amounts of money for them to teach our child, and I expect that if I follow the rules they set out, they too need to follow the rules.  I have let my dissatisfaction be known to them.
  2. The psychologist:  We all have personal lives and I understand that sometimes life happens.  When life happens and it affects my professional environment, I go out of my way to accommodate the meeting, etc. I have missed. She is not doing that and is making her personal problems my problems and is not accommodating the inconvenience she has caused in my life.
  3. Nissan: I had my car fixed there, only to find that the idiot technician/mechanic did not properly test drive the car.  They just let it run on whatever machine they have, which runs straight, not turns, hence they did not pick up the problem that they have now caused. And then the service advisor tells me the two parts are not related, like I am an idiot.  Of course the wheel bearings and CV joints are in the wheel hub, which they opened up and interfered with. I am female, not an idiot. I am not a mechanic, but I am not an idiot. Car had one problem and you fixed it, and now it has another problem, I do not need to be a mechanic, or male to work that out.
  4. Our local professional institute:  As per my previous blog, they have no thought of being inclusive. And while the manager is very competent, she drives me insane when she talks to us like we are five year olds, learning to read.
  5. My FIL: He is in my space.
  6. My Hubby: He is on call and every time that phone rings in the middle of the night I want to destroy it.  I just need to sleep without interruptions.
  7. The Trustees where I live:  They do not know the first thing about anything and think that being a trustee has given them autonomy over the complex. As soon as you disagree with them, they pull out the “We are the trustees, we know better and it is about majority vote”  Like really?  It is my money you are supposed to be spending, get out of my way.
  8. Myself:  I need to stop being so angry at the world and just let it go.
  9. The cats:  One is tearing up the place, the other has no backbone.
  10. The caretaker: He keeps sending bulk messages about stupid stuff.  I have now blocked him, because I cannot deal with that.  I do not need anyone else’s religion or political views forced down my throat.
  11. My sisters:  I have a job which I work at very hard and I am good at.  Stop calling me a plan drawer, it is offensive.