Tag Archives: work

The weekend reflection.

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I sit here on Sunday evening and reflect on the weekend. It has been a busy one for us.  HB had his first playdate without us.  I was a little apprehensive, he was a little apprehensive, but we all were fine and he loved it.

While he was at this playdate we spoke to another psychologist for an outside assessment.  I just cannot rest without knowing that we have tried everything to find out where is the problem and what we cab do. Hopefully, but the end of this month, we have all the information we need to make a decision.

We then had to attend  school event and I was nearly ready to fall over by the time we arrived home.  I had started the day feeling nauseous from an incredible headache which then intensified further and a day in the sun did not help one little bit.

Today, Sunday, I worked all day from six this morning.  I have been holed up in HB’s room, working away and I still feel like I have a ton to do.  No matter, by the end of tomorrow I shall have a set of documentation ready to go.

I still managed to fit in a reading session with HB.  We have exhausted the school  guide and now we have moved onto the consonants.  Even the psychologist said we should not worry about this academic thing.  She said he sounds fine and will specifically check these things for us.  At least she bothered to find out what is our expectation from all this.

Onto the new week.  I shall be in the office at 6am to make sure that my work is done by three tomorrow afternoon.  It feels like an exam and I just need ot make it through, which I know I can.

Have a great week bloggies, we owe it to ourselves.

I am so negative about everything.

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I do not often bother with these types of things, but since I have become a news junkie and had my eyes forcibly opened at my last job, I notice a lot more.

There was a two day conference organised by our local institute.  It was something I had been looking forward to for a while.  It was going to be one of those inspirational conferences, the type I love.
The reality of the world we live in, is that racism and sexism is a real thing. The institutes have been pushing women in the field, which I fully agree with.
Out of 19 presenters, there were only two woman, one Indian man, and one of the women happened to be black.  Really?  Do we really call ourselves inclusive?  Is this array of speaker all that could be mustered?  Surely if we are trying to encourage woman in the profession, we should give them more opportunities, and I know very many woman who would have had a lot to offer at this conference. The other reason that I paid such close attention the line up, was that at the last conference, one of the speakers had pointed out the skewed makeup of almost all white male speakers.
I am not saying that white males have nothing to offer, of course they do, but so do women and people who are not white.
I am an Indian female, and there are not very many of us in our profession. Everytime I go to a site meeting or just about any meeting for that matter, I have to earn respect on that team, which is just taken as given for the males in the team, no matter what their age.
I have been at meetings with a student (who I take along as a learning experience for him) to find that he will be addressed instead of myself. It is assumed he is the white male, so he must be the one who knows everything, when it is very obvious this child only started shaving in the last few years and does not even have the confidence to stand up straight. The attitude comes from men of any race.
At my last office, I was shocked to find that they considered black people not good enough to work there and it was something they would never consider.  Also, the males were paid more than the women and while the women did not receive increases because of the uncertain economic climate, the men receive yearly salary increases. Even white males with lesser qualifications than the women were paid more for less work responsibility. I was shocked, sad and left there. They are the reason why BBBEE still exists.
The joke of the whole conference was that it was to promote ideas and thinking outside the box.  If only they had thought outside the box when putting the presenters together.

Catching up.

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It has been a while…but that seems the norm these days.  I have been in the new job almost a whole month and I think it is going fine.  The office is way way way more relaxed than the previous office.  I have had two deadlines in the time I have been there, and even with work under pressure, it was still relaxed.  Deadlines must be met, but neither are they the end of the world.

I still gets loads of calls from the old office and after the end of March, I am going to have to cut them loose.  My friends from there are waiting for a dinner date so we can all catch up.

The new office also gave us all Monday off…had nothing to do with leave.  I think getting into the relationships may take a while, because everyone in that office has worked there forever.  I think that is a good sign, that people stay there.  The old office had a very high staff turnover.

Hubby has had some compliments about the way he is managing his new position.  I think it makes him feel relaxed knowing that he is making a difficult position work.

Honeybear and I spent some good quality time together these last four days.  I think we both needed it.  I have been working so hard on my private work.  I try to work only when he is asleep, but it is not always possible.  I also need to spend time with Hubby.

Things with Hubby is another post.  I love him so much, and he is one of the most caring souls, and I am so lucky to have him choose me.

Decisions

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Where I am now?  It has been a hard year for me in terms of work.  I always seem to be having work issues it seems.  The last place really agonised me.

I left a place I had been at for a long time.  I needed to.  I could not afford to work there because Hubby and I were literally counting the cents. I loved the people and atmosphere, etc…but the money was the deciding factor.

Next place offered the salary I asked, only to be unable to afford anyone’s salary six months down the line.  Also, I found out they were doing not so kosher business dealings.  I had to leave.

The next place was desperation.  Once again everything seemed fine, until they told me how unhappy they were with my work.  I was flabbergasted as I had never been in such a situation before.  I was a broken woman.  So I just found another job and left.  I later found out they were going down the tubes and could not afford salaries.  They did end up washed out, had to close down the business and the owner was shot by a disgruntled client.

My current place seemed great.  I was really happy. I over compensated a bit and worked so very hard, in case anyone thought I was not a good worker.  I was really broken by the previous place telling me they were not happy with me.  It went fine for about a year and then things started to seriously go down hill.  Temper tantrums from the boss.  Shouting and swearing and screaming.  I was so shocked.  I thought it was me, only to think about it more and see that no one should behave in that way.  It is never right.  It happened to everyone (except the favourite).  It is crazy.  No one feels safe.  And then when the one sane boss also lost it, I thought it was time.  I could have no self respect to accept that kind of behavior.  The last straw was being shouted at by the boss for something that was not my fault.  With no opportunity to explain.  The other one sat there and watched, knowing it was not me.  And when it was resolved that it was not me, but him that made this disaster, no apology was forthcoming for the bad behavior. To make matters worse, they told our client that it was me that did everything wrong.  Me?  I did not even work in that office when the disaster was made.  I had raised my concerns and it was pushed away.  To make it worse, other professionals in the field (we work with them)…they think our office is a joke. Our directors are without vision (I was told so directly).  They have no future plan.  The company is stagnating.  What to say when you are told this?  I said nothing because you do not talk bad about your office.

The last week of work, I was called for an interview with another office.  I am so unsure.  All my decisions since I have left the first place have been so far off the mark.  I have researched all I can research.  Why do they need staff?  Are they also crazy and all the staff is leaving?  Are they so successful that they need new people? How do I make the right decisions? Granted, I do not have the job, just an interview.

I have a week left to figure it out.

Volcanos

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The last few weeks….and I cannot wait for them to be over.  I remember how hard I worked this time last year.  It was the heatwave, and I had five weeks, every day of solid site inspections. It was tough, but I did it.
This year is equally as tough, not physically, but emotionally.  The bosses seem to have gone slightly mad this year, and it seems to be worsening as we get closer to the end of the year.  This year has taught me a lot about the kind of person that I am.  I am not good at dealing with the emotional nature of other people.  I am happier when everyone is on even keel, without their emotions spilling all over the place.  I just do not want to know about it.
Makes me insensitive?  My emotions are always on a tight rein.  I generally save my spilling out when I am in private, or with hubby.  He is the only one, actually.  Even he does not see it all….I tend to keep it to myself….and this is why all the emotional stress that spills out in the office is making me so uncomfortable.
I just feel that this is an office environment, and that we need to deal with this stuff outside the office, not over and onto everyone else. It feels like a volcano has erupted all over us and we have to grin and bear it while we are being covered with ash, lava and falling rock.
Well, it is learning experience, and I hope that I discover some tools to help me deal with it.
I had a chat with Honeybear’s teacher yesterday morning about his progress, and she was very confident that he is managing fine and there is no need to keep him back a year.  She said that after the shaky start to the year, he has found his spot and is able to keep up and has achieved the milestones required of him.  She also complimented hubby and I on the home tutoring.  She says it is evident in his class work, that we have been working with him at home (it is good to know we are all managing to get it right).
On a sad note for my little one…his bestie is leaving the school.  The teacher wanted to mention it to me because she said the two are so attached, he is sure to miss her.  He is very protective over this girl, the teacher said to us.  I was never one for besties, so it was nice to see my little one managing where I had failed.  I am sure he will build other lasting relationships, as the kids will grow together.  They are only five!
Our kitchen revamp is almost done and I cannot wait to go cook something with my new stove.  We have been planning this revamp for a year, and it is lovely to see it finally coming together.
Back to grind stone!