Tag Archives: school

The weekend.

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This weekend was lovely.  It was busy busy busy on Saturday morning….getting cars serviced, library stops, shopping and all the admin of our lives. But it was fine.  We were together.

Also on the cards was getting a new set of worksheets done for HB.  Lol, the guy at the printing store even asked if I was a teacher.  I am determined to help my child if I can.
I have been working on being gentle with my baby, because he is my baby. The worksheets are great, because for the days I do not have the patience to be nice, he can quietly do a worksheet. The nice thing is that they are like games, not worksheets.
Sunday we enjoyed a lazy lunch/afternoon at one of local dams.  The picnic was lovely, and we really had to drag HB home. He is such a nature child.  He loves being outside and it is a pity we do not do it more often.
Honeybear loves the library and I still need to get him to understand that there is a limit on the number of books we are allowed to take out.  I am so happy he loves the library as much as I do.  I have, unfortunately, finished my two library books over the weekend.
Honeybear needs more confidence.  I am trying to help him.  He often will not try something because he is too afraid to get it wrong.  Telling him is OK to make mistakes does not work.  I try to push him a little so he can see that he can do it too.
I get him to read words after we have a read a book.  This way he can see that he can do it too.  I have also taken to leaving him alone with his work, so that he has to try it alone. It feels like that whole “let your child cry it out” sleep training. I tried the cry it out once, Hubby and I were so traumatised, we never tried it again. We try to let HB lead the way.  I tell myself it is a development thing, just like learning to walk.  You can help and guide, but you cannot force.
He is back in his own room again.  For how long, I do not know.  He keeps ending up back in our bed, and to be honest, I prefer him in our bed.  I worry less.  Hubby has accepted that I will walk between our rooms during the night, because I am nuts like that.
Honeybear is getting better with the reading thing…whether this is translating to the classroom, I try not to worry about.  We have already made that decision to let the process of the psychologist take its course and time. I am concerned with keeping my child nurtured.
Telkom is driving me nuts, but they it periodically, so nothing new there. Overcharges on our account, I am not prepared to pay.  Apparently I signed up for a new contract…they must produce this contract, because I certainly have not.
Back to work.

The hope springs again.

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Hi Ladies, thank you for all the comments on my previous post. I appreciate the support I receive here, and it gives me hope I am not alone in this parenting jungle.
I have been so mixed up about this whole thing with Honeybear and school.  And then you have a moment when everything settles itself and you worry no more.
I was chatting to my Mom and telling her about it all, when it came to me.  There are only 120 days of the school year left.  That is not a long time in the larger scheme of things.  Honeybear will move to a different class.
So we have decided let him go to the psychologist and if she suggests he needs further sessions, we will be happy to agree.  She is a professional after all. The psychologist, as part of her assessment, will observe Honeybear in the classroom environment too. After the whole thing, the psychologist will also speak to the teacher about the ways in which she needs to interact with my child.  I am fully confident there is nothing for us to worry about.  Also, we then have two independent professionals who are able to also help the teacher, not just Honeybear, and when it comes to school readiness for Grade 1, the teacher is not the only one who will make the decision about Honeybear.
Hubby and I are meeting the psychologist later this week ( I mailed her myself, as I do not want the referral to come from the teacher only, with her  view only). Also, I think meeting her, will help us understand her methods and how impartial she is likely to be, and if the best interests of Honeybear remain at the forefront.
Further, I was chatting to one of the Moms and she let me know that the other parents in the class have been complaining about the teacher and all the therapies she keeps recommending our children need.
I have also told the teacher that after the assessment with the psychologist, we all need a meeting, and I will ask the prep head of school to be a part of that meeting too. This way there are no misunderstandings or thoughts that Hubby and I are ignoring a problem with our son, because we are too whatever.
A plan of action makes us all feel so much better.
I want Honeybear to love learning and going to school.  He loves it now,and I do not want him to lose it because a young teacher does  not yet have the experience ti deal with different personalities.
His previous teacher was older and the nicest lady ever.  Even when she told you that there was something going with your child, she did it in a way that was hopeful, not in a manner that made you think that there was no way out of this thing.

And it just gets worse…

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Yesterday was the first day back at school and already I have a complaint from Honeybear’s teacher about him. She told me he was kicking another child and refused to apologise.  Then he further refused to participate in the morning activities and birthday party.

Honeybear had already told me he was naughty and that he was so hungry but the teacher would not let him eat because he was naughty.  I was a little upset about the withholding of food but I figured he would be OK.  I left it that until the teacher messaged about the kicking and non participation.
So I asked him and he said he did not kick anyone, which is why he did not apologise.  I think I know what happened.  The teacher accused him of kicking, and told him to apologise, without listening to him try to explain his side of the story.  I was surprised when she said he was kicking someone, because he is not that kind of child.  He is non-confrontational and is more likely to complain and cry.
I messaged the mother of the boy involved and I asked her if she could ask her child what happened. (she is totally unaware anything happened)  Apparently he was not kicked, but smacked and it was not a fight.  The mother explained that her child is overly sensitive and normally exaggerates things, so I should not take it seriously, as she did not believe him herself.  I left it that and did not say anything to her, just apologised.
I asked the teacher if she had seen the incident and she said no, it was not even in her class, the other teacher apparently saw it.  Honeybear said they were walking in a line and the other child was kicking as he walked and he asked him to stop and then I assume they must have started getting upset with each other. No one was kicking anyone else. However, the teacher did not even bother to find out what is going on, because she was not even there.  She just insists Honeybear must tender an apology which he felt was unjustified.  So he starts crying to end in sulks. Added to that, he was hungry and less likely to get out the funk. And he is five years old!!!
Then she messages me about it as if it is a huge deal (the boys were over it by then). She tells me I should really get him to the psychologist because he is not coping and that sessions with the psychologist will help him as he needs.  It was the first day back, you did not listen to him and he is hungry. How do you expect the child to behave?
I told her I agreed to an evaluation, and when that was done, we could all have a meeting about the best way to help my child.
Just writing this I want to cry tears of frustration.  My child is not bad, he does not have behaviour problems.  Strangers stop me and tell me what a well mannered perfectly behaved child he is.  He has spent two weeks in a different school for the holidays and I have had not a single complaint about behaviour.
I also find it nuts that we have moved from him needing help because he cannot cope with the schoolwork to him now having behaviour problems and needs help.  I feel that the teacher has decided he is a bad child and that she is not going to see anything different.  She is just seeing problems when she looks at him, not normal five year behaviour.  I am afraid of what she is going to say to the psychologist at this stage when she does the referral.  He is not a bad child and her experience with him, is completely different from mine or anyone elses.
I am almost upset enough that I am considering moving him to another school, because he is not a bad child, he is just a child and children tend to not listen and do things we consider naughty, because that is what they do.

How much does a five year old need?

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We had our parents meeting and I left feeling like there is no hope.  Last year this time we signed up Honeybear for Speech Therapy.  While I did not feel like the therapy was fully warranted, but I did not want to be one of those parents who ignore problems.  My feelings were right, when the assessment at the end of the year (after months of speech therapy and a new therapist), it was found he has no problems outside what are normal for his age.

I decided, with the therapist’s advice, that he continue for one term into this year, to ensure that he got a hang on the phonics, as this is the first time they are learning phonics, and grounding etc….is important.
This meeting this week, the teacher says he has no speech issues, but she thinks we must keep him in therapy because there he gets one on one help with the therapist. So now the therapy is for phonics tuition?  When we sit at home, there is only two that he mixes up, the b and d.  And the teacher says that is common to all the children.
The teacher suggests that there must be a confidence issue int he class environment which is why he cannot say what he knows in the class.  She also says he starts to cry and stops responding and she has had to take him to lie in the sick room a few times, until he clams down.  The one time, I knew about it, and she also admitted it was an understandable situation of why he was so worked up.  The principal who oversees all the sick room kids, tells me he has only been there once (the one incident I know about).  So is the teacher lying to me?  Why did she not tell me about any of the other incidents like she told me about the one?
She also says he needs to go see the school psychologist. Why?  Because he tends to get shy and sometimes very stubborn.  I agreed, because her reasons were so weak and I wanted to laugh.  I am wondering if she thinks there is something wrong in our home environment and she is looking for a way to send him to the psychologist?
I am at the end of it all.
Every day, I sit with that child of mine and I go through all the phonics, counting, vocabulary…everything.  Everything! If you read his report, he has achieved everything he needs to achieve for his age group.  He is on par with the class, and he also performed better in some areas, like any other child.  He is no Einstein, but he is keeping up…so I cannot see where this comes from.  I was taken aback by the whole thing about the psychologist and speech therapy I never asked her why the report says one thing and she (who made the report) is saying something else. She says he cannot keep up in the class, but then she assessed him, in the report as having achieved all that needs to be achieved this year.
She says he just needs to know the sounds, not be able to actually read words this year, but then she also says that he cannot read the words.  So which is it?  I know he cannot read words, he does not understand that the sounds make up words.  But it is not a thing he needs to know in Grade 0.  Even the speech therapist says that while some kids, the girls especially, are able to read words, it is a stretch to expect him to be able to read in the first term.
I just cannot understand where this all comes from.  I am a good mother, hubby is a good father.  We actually spend time with Honeybear, going through his school work.
I do everything I possibly can to make sure my child is healthy and happy, but it does not seem to work.
I have an appointment with the speech therapist for sometime next week, to understand what the speech issue is.  If it is just phonics tuition, then I am going to stop this.
The psychologist will only happen next term when the kids are back at school.  I feel like we can do nothing right.  My child is fine, but he is not fine. I have even let him come back and sleep in our bed, because maybe he he is not ready to sleep in his own room, and we must be emotionally destroying him because we insist he must sleep in his own room.
When I speak to other parents, of kids in his class and in other schools, Honeybear seems like he is doing everything that they are doing.  He cries the same amount, he is sensitive like they are, he cannot read like they don’t read.  In fact, the reading at the private school down the road only teach reading from Grade 1.  It is not an issue in Grade 0, like my child has in the very first term of Grade 0.
I do understand I am currently being one of those parents I do not want to be.  I refuse to accept that there is something wrong with my child.

Catching up.

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It has been a while…but that seems the norm these days.  I have been in the new job almost a whole month and I think it is going fine.  The office is way way way more relaxed than the previous office.  I have had two deadlines in the time I have been there, and even with work under pressure, it was still relaxed.  Deadlines must be met, but neither are they the end of the world.

I still gets loads of calls from the old office and after the end of March, I am going to have to cut them loose.  My friends from there are waiting for a dinner date so we can all catch up.

The new office also gave us all Monday off…had nothing to do with leave.  I think getting into the relationships may take a while, because everyone in that office has worked there forever.  I think that is a good sign, that people stay there.  The old office had a very high staff turnover.

Hubby has had some compliments about the way he is managing his new position.  I think it makes him feel relaxed knowing that he is making a difficult position work.

Honeybear and I spent some good quality time together these last four days.  I think we both needed it.  I have been working so hard on my private work.  I try to work only when he is asleep, but it is not always possible.  I also need to spend time with Hubby.

Things with Hubby is another post.  I love him so much, and he is one of the most caring souls, and I am so lucky to have him choose me.