Tag Archives: relationships

New year stuff

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The new year begins with optimism and all good thoughts.  I had a lovely, and extremely busy break.  Two weeks of working very hard and ensuring kids were fed, bathed and happy.  Then one week of busy sight-seeing with our little family of three.

It was nice to sight see in the city I grew up in, and show it to hubby.  This is the first time we have managed to take time off together for a whole week in Durban (bar our wedding almost ten years ago).
Honeybear loved being part of a big family.  I loved reconnecting with all of our family and this year we really made a big effort on the family gatherings.
Hubby and I spent time together, really spent time together.  We did not really do a date like we planned, only because we did not know what to do with ourselves without HB, which is a little silly. We will work more on that one.
I loved having my nephews around and spending time with them.  I loved doing crafty things with the kids and making them weird lunches their moms don’t make. Haha, I think I loved being the favourite aunt all holiday.
This holiday I made lists of things to do, to get the maximum done, family activities done, crafts with the kids, and I forgot about rest time…which means my holiday was way busier than work time.
But it is back to work this week and things are already busy and I find myself only having ticked of one thing of my list from yesterday (it is a long list, and this is my pattern…and then I get going).
Our brains are weird like that.  I will make my list and start on it…to find something I can’t work out, like some retaining wall levels or something like that.  I will abandon it and continue to something else, but my lovely brain continues to work it out in the background, and then I suddenly get it.  Our brains are so amazingly made, that we can do such things. it is one of those things they tell you at school….if you cannot work it out, move onto the next problem, instead of wasting time.
I have no big new year’s resolutions, goals, plans…I just want to be happy and good. I want to be better at being me, which is not something I can just do in one sitting, it is going to take time, and I plan on being gentle and kind to myself.
This year I have also taken to planning HB too…he has a full schedule, I don’t want hm rushing from one thing to the other.  His quiet time and fun needs to be planned in, so we do not forget it.
We received a report from the school ed. psych. yesterday…if it was not email, I would have chucked it in the bin. I am not doing that to him again this year.  He has proven that he can do what needs to be done, just leave him to it.
Hubby is on a weightloss journey.  I am helping him…to try to get him to stick with it, instead of adhoc. It will help me eat better too (though I have given up this weight thing…I am going to be happy with me.  I refuse to be hungry.)
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The last one for 2017.

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This is going to be the last post of the year.  We are off for three weeks on Friday.  IO am so looking forward to it.

This year has been an emotional rollercoaster and a year when I learned a few things:

  1. I am a good mother.  No headmistress, psychologist or teacher will ever again make me think I am any less than a good mother.  All a child needs is love.
  2. I am a good teacher.  I can find the way to make someone understand something.
  3. I am a not so good wife.  I have taken my husband for granted.  He is not just a supporting role in my story, he is my story.  This break is for reconnecting and reminding us both that I need to be nicer to him. He is my love.
  4. Changing jobs was one of the best things I have ever done this year.  I feel so much better.
  5. I am all about justice and doing the right thing…I need to remember that deciding what that is, is not my sole responsibility or right.
  6. I can do more than I think can and believing goes a long way to getting things done.
  7. I am a generally good person, but sometimes I am not….those sometimes need to be worked upon.
  8. I have lived away from my parents house for eleven years, but I still miss them terribly.
  9. Kindness is the best way to carry yourself.

Thank you ladies for all the support and kind words.

Dates and other stuff.

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Hubby and I had our meeting with the educational psychologist this morning.  The relief I feel is so good.  She said to us that she has not spoken to the teacher as she prefers to work without preconceived notions. (I feel better).  She asked us questions about Honeybear and the type of child that he is and all the little things to get to know our little boy from our point of view.

Then she went on to tell us how she would go about her assessment.
The first thing was to meet with us, then Honeybear and also to specifically observe him in class and with his friends.  Also, it would take a few weeks because she had to get to know our child and understand the person he is (big sigh of relief). She also mentioned that sometimes these problems are nothing more than a personality clash between teacher and child ( I am so glad she mentioned that)
After this meeting I feel like I should have sessions with her, as she is so calming and seems to understand the worries and anxieties I feel as a parent.
She asked that we prepare Honeybear for meeting with her next week, and the one thing we might have to do is a bloodtest to rule out physical issues that may be impacting on his classwork.  She did say it would be something that may come, not sure at this stage, and she would help prepare him, should the need arise.  Having them draw blood is not going to be easy for me.
Anyway, I feel better about this whole thing and let us see what happens.
Tomorrow we have the soccer morning and I do not look forward to it.  It is such a long morning for all of us and by the second match we all want to go home and the kids do not want to play the third match.  It is being hosted by another school and they really do not serve nice coffee in proper glass/ porcelain mugs/cups. I know it sounds silly, but you need the coffee to get you through the morning.  It starts early and I just cannot drink out that white polystyrene cup.  I must remember to take my own coffee.
Our school sets up coffee tables with cookies and cups and saucers and mugs and water with lemon and  ice.  Tea and coffee and choices about the type you want.  I guess we are a little spoiled at out school.  It is soccer after all, not a coffee bar.
Honeybear and I are on our own, as Hubby is working this weekend.  I do not mind the time on our own, as it is mothers day and we can do our own dates for the weekend. I am thinking, movie picnic this evening, and then after soccer we may both need a nap.  I am going to make pancakes for Sunday breakfast ( I have a pancake monster on the weekends).  And perhaps a proper outdoor picnic for Sunday afternoon.
Hubby and I have instituted date nights.  Proper ones (it is home or Spur, but at his stage babysitting is just too expensive to on a regular basis).  We wait for Honeybear to go to sleep and then we can watch a grownup movie.  The advantage of the home/Spur date is that we the first part of the evening is a whole family date.
Consciously spending time together is good for all relationships.

Random bits and pieces.

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I looked up now, it is one of those lazy Friday afternoons.  Everyone is sitting plugged into their PC via earphones.  Lost in their pre-weekend world.  Doing little tasks and waiting for the bell to ring.
Hubby and I had a fight last night.  We made up before bedtime, but it is not nice to fight with your husband.
I am seeing Honeybear’s speech therapist next week.  I need a proper chat with her as to where we are going with this.
There is a kiddies birthday party coming up and I realise I need a gift budget.
We are having a Ninja Turtle birthday party for Honeybear. I am looking forward to it, as this is an easy one to plan.  I will start buying the bits and pieces early and invite my parents too.
I want to go visit my parents next week, hopefully I can swing the long weekend.
Our wedding anniversary approaches in a few days…9 years (we are old!)
I am looking forward to my sister visiting next week.
What will I cook?  Something traditional or something new (for my sister’s family).
I love the menu planning and freezer meals we did.  We are almost at the need of April and we still have meals to eat. (2 months).
I like having time to myself.  A lot of time.  I like to be by myself.
Honeybear and I had a Mom and son date day about 2 weeks ago.  Completely unplanned, but one of those days that will stick in my mind.  He loved it too and I love that we can appreciate things together like that.
Had dinner with friends this week.  It was so great to see everyone and to catch up (we all used to work together at some point but have moved or not moved).
I am planning on a family weekend.  Time to be us together.
I am upset with my Dad, but I need to let it go.  He is older, living in a different time from me and does not always understand me.
I am worried about my youngest sister.  I wish I could make things better for her.
I have turned into a good cook.
Perhaps I need to invite my cousin over this weekend.  She is a good person.
I need to adopt a child.  It is the thing in me, which comes back over and over.
Does hubby want to adopt…No.  *sigh*

Reading problem.

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I am going nuts I think.  I just cannot stop reading and reading and reading and it is taking over everything.  I have a reading problem.

I was reading Marcia’s blog  about the number of books read in a year and I read a lot.  I only realised it when I commented there.  And this weekend I remembered….

I read and read and lose myself in books when I am troubled.  Last year was a year of turmoil for me, in terms of work and getting used to big school with Honeybear.  Hubby and I seemed to to disconnect for bit too.  Living past each other, with all this stuff going on in our lives.

I am still reading like a crazy woman, and I do feel troubled.  Hubby is working longer hours with his new position and sometimes it is a whole twenty four hours before all three of us connect.  We connect among the routine of our lives, getting ready for work, school, laundry, cricket games…which is not much of a connection.  I am pretty busy working my day job and then my private work and then the PTA, and body corporate…and being a Mom.  I am so excited about HB learning to read, that I have to spend every afternoon with him, making sure he does not fall behind.  Hubby and I are back to stolen kisses and promises to sit down together.  Hubby works one weekend, I work the other weekend…and so it goes.

This all came to me as I sat in a dingy hot office on Friday morning with my latest student. The lady I was trying to sweet talk into helping started dishing out relationship advice to my student and myself.  She divorced her husband after 24 years.  You would think that after 24 years you have it sorted…you must never take things for granted.

She said that they divorced because they never made time for each  other anymore and that she did not understand his love language, and vice versa.  (we were there for 35 minutes, but that is the essence). This has had me thinking, in my weekend frenzy of reading.  Hubby and I need to take a time out.  We need to be with each other again.  I am not sure how I will make this happen. I am going to suck up my pride and I ask my long time friend if she is willing to have three kids for an afternoon, and maybe hubby and I can have an old-fashioned date.

I read because it helps me resolve things, and it helps me escape and it helps me breathe…escapism.