Tag Archives: mother

It was too long to reply in a comment…

Standard

 

I wrote that post about offering lifts…and the reply was too long…..

I know things are terrible in terms of scams and crime in our country. But sometimes there is that person that tugs at your heart and you feel like you are supposed to help.
I used to often give people lifts and I stopped when HB came along, because as many have said, safety first. I have a family to think of.

But that day, if I was able to safely stop, I would have. I just felt, that this was just a mother struggling through the rain. Of course I know nothing, it never crossed my mind she and the child would do anything bad to me. Even when I wrote the post, it never crossed my mind about crime and scams, until the comments. Hubby often tells me I am far too naive about some things, which he finds strange in a woman who is so sure about just about everything.

I feel very sad about that lady and that is where the post came from. Hubby did not understand why helping her would cross my mind, and I could not understand where he was coming from. I think it is just one of those situations you have to be in and make the judgement call that your heart is at peace with. Driving on, was not the right thing for my heart, because I feel I could have found a place to stop, or other people would have been ok if I stopped in the road for a few minutes. It bothers me.

I do understand the argument for a dangerous situation, but I do judge myself as having made the wrong choice in that situation.

I should have helped her…here was me driving along in my brand new car, happy that it has a high ground clearance and the puddles where no problem, and there was the two walking without even the benefit of a second umbrella.

I am not here to judge anyone about anything…I often write posts that are to help me resolve something going on with me.

Advertisements

Would you stop?

Standard

Pretoria has been having a large amount of rain.  The ground is pretty soaked and there is a lot of surface run off.  Yesterday I was driving home.  It was terrible.  The visibility was low.  I was driving uphill and the road was like a small river.  Everyone was driving quite slow, trying to get through this terrible rush hour raining traffic.

I eventually got to the flat area and closer to HB’s school…just two more problem intersections to get through.  There is a little spruit that runs under the road.  These flood when it rains. It was not at a dangerous level yesterday afternoon, cars were able to drive through safely. However, there was a lot of moving water in that section of the road. There was bumper to bumper slow moving traffic in both directions of this single lane in each direction road. And walking through the spruit flooded area was a mother with an umbrella with her little girl.  The little girl was almost up to her knees in water. There is no pavement here, just a grass verge normally.
NOT ONE PERSON IN A CAR GAVE THEM A LIFT.
I was on the wrong side going in the opposite direction and I felt it was not safe to stop and try to get their attention.  However, I did not stop either.  I came back down that road to look for them after I fetched HB. I think they had made their way to the petrol station, so I never found them.
What kind of horrible people are we that we just drive past a mother and a child, struggling through the water, in the pouring rain, ans we do not let them into our car.
The traffic was at a snail’s pace and no one on that side of the road would have been put out to stop.  They could have safely stopped without disturbing traffic and just given them a lift to a safer part of the road.
What kind of people are we?

Bullet points.

Standard

What I have been doing:

  1. Formatted hubby’s laptop and then the recovery disc did not work.  At least the store easily sorted it out for about R500,00.  I feel bad, but at least there are zero viruses on it now (well there was zero anything after I was done).
  2. I have another private job, yippee! and that means extra money on my car.
  3. Related to the above point, I finally bought a brand new car.  I have never had a brand new car before.  I finally decided that mine had done its bit and it was time. It is exciting for me.
  4. Sold my eighteen year old car, in less than a minute for more than I would have thought.  Dropped it off yesterday, after the money was in and I am happy it was to a dealership, not a private person.
  5. Still trying to get the party pics done.  I have made up the private post and I will email the info this week.
  6. So looking forward to holidays.  I counted the weeks yesterday, just under eight left.
  7. No lunch today…forgot about it, so guess I will have rusks and milo for lunch, maybe peanuts, because that is what I have in my emergency stash.  I have to relook at that stash.
  8. I huge, well hubby says no, but I feel huge and that is because I did stop exercising, there did not seem to be enough hours in the day.
  9. HB is almost done with Grade 0.  New uniform, new campus, new teacher.  Looking forward to it.
  10. Made a few new friends with the school gate Moms.  Even the stay at home ones.  We have visited with each other, had the kids play, eaten together, and looks like we could be good friends. It is possible, I think, if you make an effort to get together, beside the school gate, you can make firmer friendships. I think Marcia called this containers?
  11. Looking forward to December, did I say that one l already.
  12. I have so much work to do, instead I am typing a blog, because I need a break.
  13. Had my eyes tested, fully confirmed it is stable.  On the downside, they are stressed eyes so I do need to take better care at the PC.  Also, bad, the abscess I had in my eye actually did scar.  So I possibly am going to have a few issues later, but on the upside, I could have become blind from the scarring but I am not.
  14. HB is turning into a teenager at six…and it is not going down well in our house.  The backchat leaves me at a loss as to what is the appropriate response. I am speechless in the face of that backchat from a six year old.
  15. How to deal with a six year old teen?  I just send him to his room and we talk about it after.  We take away the screen time, and now we will have to start taking away lego, etc.  Children!
  16. I cannot wait to see my family in December.  Need to get going with their gifts.  I just do the kids.
  17. Hubby does not want not want to see his family.  I did say we should go, do the 12 hour drive and just see them, but he says, no, and he has asked me not to insist anymore.  Last year it was tiring, but OK.  HB only vomited in the car once.
  18. I should really go work now

Inside their minds.

Standard

My little one things I am so clever.  He has this thing for science experiments and we did one over the weekend.  He is so amazed by the fact that I could do a science experiment.  I am not sure what he thinks about his mother specifically, but science experiments was not on the list of things I was supposed to do.

This had me thinking:  What do our children think about us?  HB thinks the following:
  1. You need pancakes, I am the one you call.
  2. Mama is a witch, in that I can do magic. ( I led him on here)
  3. Mama is good for hugs.
  4. You want sweeties, ask Mama, as she will likely give them.
  5. Mama reads stories well (Papa reads so deadpan, I don’t blame the child).  I do voices and sound effects.
  6. Mama writes everything the right way.
  7. Mama has handkerchiefs and stuff inside her bag.
  8. Looking for something, ask Mama.
  9. Mama knows nothing about science experiments (surprised him on that one)
  10. Mama does not know how to play soccer (surprised him on that one)
  11. Mama works in an office and loves it (he sometimes threatens to punish me by not allowing me to go to the office…I don’t love work that much).
  12. Mama does not know how to turn on the Wii (I led him on here)
Sometimes I wish I could read his mind.

Live nice.

Standard

Yesterday I had a huge Mummy fail.  I still feel so bad about it.  I know we all do it and I will do it again….

I have been emotional about everything.  I don’t know why.  Perhaps it is starting the pill after having a break for a month or I am going nuts or ….whatever, but I have been all over the place.  Yesterday I was feeling a little frazzled and figured a good 45 minutes exercise would help.  So this was the plan in my mind.
However, when I fetched HB from school he was wet. I asked him what happened and he said that he went to the toilet and he wet his pants because he could not get them off fast enough.  So I explained this was fine, but he needs to tell his teacher and I showed him the spare clothes in his bag.  I told him these things happen but number one is perhaps go to the toilet before he gets desperate and then if he gets wet, there are spare clothes in his bag, and he can ask his teacher for help to change.  Pretoria is freezing cold at the moment and wet jeans cannot be good.
He has only wet himself once before and that was also the same situation, where he waited too long to go to the toilet.
By the time we get home, I had to wash and change him immediately because it is freezing cold.  So no time for either one of us to have a break, like we usually do.  We usually take 20 minutes for ourselves before we need to do anything, when we get home.  HB also gets a snack to get him to dinner time.
I was tired, he was tired, and I just ranted at the poor child.  I did not shout, but I ranted at him enough to make him cry.  It was horrible.  I was a horrible mother who just made her little child cry because things were going on that had nothing to do with him, but he happened to be there.  I am the adult…and adults should know better.  Adults do not do that to children.  Adults do not make children cry over stupid stuff.  Wetting your pants when you are not even six years old is stupid stuff.  You grow out of it.  What set the rant off was when I found he had not cleaned up properly after going to the toilet because he was in too much of a hurry to get back to play.  He is a child and kids do this.  Not adults and adults should not lose control like that. Yes I did not shout or smack but I did make him feel bad enough that he cried.  And toilet accidents is a definite thing you do not make kids feel bad about.  I know this, but I did it anyway.
Yes we made up and cuddled and got over it because he is a sweet child and forgives me.  I explained mama did a bad thing today and we do not do that to each other.
I have made excuses for myself, but still, we do not do that.
I spent a good part of the evening crying and feeling like a failure.  I still feel like a failed mother. I know I am good most of the time, but it is episodes like yesterday that stick in the mind and you realise that when the times get tough, you fall apart.
Learn from me ladies, we have to be nice to our children, not just take care of them.  We have to be nice to these precious little bodies, because being nice and good to them is more important than packing the correct lunch box or educational crafts or pretty clothes.
Being nice and living nice and good will ensure that when you are the end of your string, there will be reserve string waiting to help you get by.