Tag Archives: Honeybear

Parenting rewards.


Yesterday I had one of those terrible, nausea inducing headaches.  The kind that makes you want to pull your hair out, because pulling your hair out would be less painful.  It was so bad, that I eventually had to pop a blue pill (they are really strong and always knock me out within twenty minutes).  I normally would not take that when I am alone with HB but I could not stand the pain.

I set up the TV to stream Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse cartoons, left out snacks and juice and then lay on the couch next to HB.  I also messaged Hubby to let him know I was going to fall asleep.
HB has instructions to wake me in an emergency.
I also left the front door open.
I am paranoid about sleeping when I need to be watching HB.
I fell asleep…HB was fine and I awoke with less pain.
While I was asleep, I felt HB come over to me.  He brushed my face and forehead, brushed back my hair and gave me two little kisses on my forehead and said: ” I love you Mama”
He thought I was fully asleep. Then he went back to his seat and continued to watch his cartoons.
These little moments are to be treasured and lets you know that you are not all bad at this parenting thing.

Two blogs in one day!


I feel like I want to run outside and scream it to everyone and anyone…MY CHILD IS FINE!!!!!!

We had the big assessment today and HB is fine…academically and emotionally and there is no need to keep him back to repeat a year.  She says he is actually very intelligent.

Yes he does not always listen or sit still and needs to be moving, but that is not a big issue.  We will do some exercises at home to encourage him to sit still for longer.  He does not even need the speech therapy he is currently receiving.  He just needs patience and tolerance.

It was suggested maybe there is a personality conflict between HB and the teacher and perhaps she is not being as patient as she should be.

I want to tell everyone that my baby is fine and just be nice to him.  He is mine and he is fine and he is good and he is beautiful.


The joy of reading.


It is so lovely to watch the joy on HB’s face when he realises he can read.  He can actually read by himself…and when he realised he could do it, he was so extremely excited…the look on his face made me want to cry.

I don’t remember learning to read, I am sure I must have been formally taught to read.  I don’t remember that joy HB felt when he realised he could read by himself.

Hubby even made a video for him, and showed it to HB…him reading by himself, with me just pointing to the words.  Without even trying to teach him, he seems to have picked up the sight words by himself.  I have just been concentrating on the synthetic phonics, because that is what he needs to learn, but the reading seems to have allowed him to work out the sight words at the same time.

With all the talk about how behind my little boy, this little achievement gives me the confidence to know, even if he is a few months behind the rest of his class, he can still do it.  He still has the ability to read and love it.

I have been so afraid, he will not want to read, because it is all about school work.  I know he does not love schoolwork, however, we have to do it. We go to the library and he is allowed to choose whatever he wants to read. He does understand there are English and Afrikaans books, so he will ask if a book is Afrikaans.  Then there are the books we read for school.  These readers are excellent.  We read the first round, with him only reading the phonics.  Second round is him reading all the words he thinks he knows and third round is reading with actual expression.  He loves the stories, and I like being able to sit with him and read too, not  just instruct.

We now use this manner of reading with all books.

In the meantime he has also learnt to read different fonts (which we had not actually taught to him…and he has picked up most of the capital letters).  At this stage they do not learn capitals.  Maybe it is for next term, I am not sure.

In the end we decided to make an actual appointment with another educational psychologist for an assessment. There is only one term of school left, and we need to make decisions and prepare our child for Grade 1 or staying another year in Grade 0. A proper school readiness assessment will help us make that decision. The school will want one by their staff psychologist, but it happens too late in the year. We also need to understand the ways in which he needs help from an emotional point of view.  The wait and see approach is not working, and the distraction of the school staff with personal issues, means he is not getting the full help he needs at school. Whether he stays or moves on is immaterial at this point, it is about making the right decision for him.  I feel I cannot rely on the school alone to make this decision.

While I feel for the personal lives of the school staff, I cannot put that in front of the needs of my child.  I will do everything I can do to make sure he remains happy and know that he is loved.

Inside their minds.


My little one things I am so clever.  He has this thing for science experiments and we did one over the weekend.  He is so amazed by the fact that I could do a science experiment.  I am not sure what he thinks about his mother specifically, but science experiments was not on the list of things I was supposed to do.

This had me thinking:  What do our children think about us?  HB thinks the following:
  1. You need pancakes, I am the one you call.
  2. Mama is a witch, in that I can do magic. ( I led him on here)
  3. Mama is good for hugs.
  4. You want sweeties, ask Mama, as she will likely give them.
  5. Mama reads stories well (Papa reads so deadpan, I don’t blame the child).  I do voices and sound effects.
  6. Mama writes everything the right way.
  7. Mama has handkerchiefs and stuff inside her bag.
  8. Looking for something, ask Mama.
  9. Mama knows nothing about science experiments (surprised him on that one)
  10. Mama does not know how to play soccer (surprised him on that one)
  11. Mama works in an office and loves it (he sometimes threatens to punish me by not allowing me to go to the office…I don’t love work that much).
  12. Mama does not know how to turn on the Wii (I led him on here)
Sometimes I wish I could read his mind.

How much does a five year old need?


We had our parents meeting and I left feeling like there is no hope.  Last year this time we signed up Honeybear for Speech Therapy.  While I did not feel like the therapy was fully warranted, but I did not want to be one of those parents who ignore problems.  My feelings were right, when the assessment at the end of the year (after months of speech therapy and a new therapist), it was found he has no problems outside what are normal for his age.

I decided, with the therapist’s advice, that he continue for one term into this year, to ensure that he got a hang on the phonics, as this is the first time they are learning phonics, and grounding etc….is important.
This meeting this week, the teacher says he has no speech issues, but she thinks we must keep him in therapy because there he gets one on one help with the therapist. So now the therapy is for phonics tuition?  When we sit at home, there is only two that he mixes up, the b and d.  And the teacher says that is common to all the children.
The teacher suggests that there must be a confidence issue int he class environment which is why he cannot say what he knows in the class.  She also says he starts to cry and stops responding and she has had to take him to lie in the sick room a few times, until he clams down.  The one time, I knew about it, and she also admitted it was an understandable situation of why he was so worked up.  The principal who oversees all the sick room kids, tells me he has only been there once (the one incident I know about).  So is the teacher lying to me?  Why did she not tell me about any of the other incidents like she told me about the one?
She also says he needs to go see the school psychologist. Why?  Because he tends to get shy and sometimes very stubborn.  I agreed, because her reasons were so weak and I wanted to laugh.  I am wondering if she thinks there is something wrong in our home environment and she is looking for a way to send him to the psychologist?
I am at the end of it all.
Every day, I sit with that child of mine and I go through all the phonics, counting, vocabulary…everything.  Everything! If you read his report, he has achieved everything he needs to achieve for his age group.  He is on par with the class, and he also performed better in some areas, like any other child.  He is no Einstein, but he is keeping up…so I cannot see where this comes from.  I was taken aback by the whole thing about the psychologist and speech therapy I never asked her why the report says one thing and she (who made the report) is saying something else. She says he cannot keep up in the class, but then she assessed him, in the report as having achieved all that needs to be achieved this year.
She says he just needs to know the sounds, not be able to actually read words this year, but then she also says that he cannot read the words.  So which is it?  I know he cannot read words, he does not understand that the sounds make up words.  But it is not a thing he needs to know in Grade 0.  Even the speech therapist says that while some kids, the girls especially, are able to read words, it is a stretch to expect him to be able to read in the first term.
I just cannot understand where this all comes from.  I am a good mother, hubby is a good father.  We actually spend time with Honeybear, going through his school work.
I do everything I possibly can to make sure my child is healthy and happy, but it does not seem to work.
I have an appointment with the speech therapist for sometime next week, to understand what the speech issue is.  If it is just phonics tuition, then I am going to stop this.
The psychologist will only happen next term when the kids are back at school.  I feel like we can do nothing right.  My child is fine, but he is not fine. I have even let him come back and sleep in our bed, because maybe he he is not ready to sleep in his own room, and we must be emotionally destroying him because we insist he must sleep in his own room.
When I speak to other parents, of kids in his class and in other schools, Honeybear seems like he is doing everything that they are doing.  He cries the same amount, he is sensitive like they are, he cannot read like they don’t read.  In fact, the reading at the private school down the road only teach reading from Grade 1.  It is not an issue in Grade 0, like my child has in the very first term of Grade 0.
I do understand I am currently being one of those parents I do not want to be.  I refuse to accept that there is something wrong with my child.