Tag Archives: educational psychologist

Feedback.

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We had the feedback meeting with the educational psychologist and I am a little confused.  Everything that she said is nothing new to Hubby and I.  We know the child we have. So why did we have to do all this?

He gets easily frustrated, but it is possibly a temperament thing and not a problem.  It is also something he will grow out of and is not a problem. If he is still having the same issue at Grade 5, then we need to worry.
She has not noticed any ADHD markers  etc.
She noticed he mispronounces some things (which I already chatted to the speech therapist about at the beginning of the year and she said it is age appropriate mispronunciation, nothing wrong).
She said he is highly creative and imaginative. Which possibly means he daydreams and does not always listen, but again she says it is not a problem, just the person he is.
She says he does not always follow all instructions, because he is young and young children tend to selective hear.
Mama shouts…which I already know.  And Mama has rules…which I already know.  But HB also mentioned that Mama gives many hugs and kisses and also allows breaking of rules.
The cats bother HB when they fight (they bother me too, and the one is a kitten so it needs time to be broken in and I cannot see how this is affecting HB’s performance in class).
She mentioned that he mixes up sadness and anger.  OK, but it is something he will work out, and we should increase his vocabulary so he has the words to express in between feelings. Like irritation, frustration.
He is a child who feels intensely.  Again, not a problem, but the person he is.
He needs to learn to share better.  Yes we have only one child so he is not used to sharing, but she suggested more playdates…which is something we can do. Again this is not an earth shattering revelation or problem.
The only thing she mentioned was that maybe he could have an auditory processing problem…but she is not really sure that he has this problem.  She will talk to the speech therapist (who I have already spoken to) and we can do some tests at the hearing centre.  We know he can hear perfectly well, perhaps he is not processing it very well.  But this is conjecture, nothing we really know.
Also, she has does not really know why he had the meltdowns he has had at school. The teacher told her about it, but it is so completely out of character that she cannot comment on that.  She will observe him further in class and she will get the teacher to fill out a questionnaire.
She says HB is aware of the fact that he does not always finish his work and feels like he is not intelligent enough in some areas, but that he also feels he is good at some things.  It breaks my heart.
At  the end of all this:
We are going to get him tested for some kind of auditory/sensory processing disorder.
Get him tested for allergies.
Help him expand his vocabulary so he can express the subtle feelings.
Mama will be conscious about shouting and try her very best to do it less.
Model behaviour to deal with feelings.
I almost feel like we are going on a witch hunt to find something wrong with this child.  He likes the time with the psychologist and since we are not paying for it at this stage, we are happy to let him continue with her.  She is not hurting him and she seems like a genuinely nice person.
I am not a perfect parent and I welcome any constructive comment on being better.

And again we see the teacher.

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This morning we had another meeting with the class teacher to discuss HB.  This time it seems he had an episode of note, that I even had a call from the school principal about it.  I am not sure what else we are supposed to do.  He is seeing a speech therapist, he is seeing the psychologist, and we never have these incidents at home.

I was frank with the teacher, that we do not experience these things at home, so I am not sure what to do.   We cannot punish or guide behavior we are not experiencing ourselves.  The same of the classwork…at home he can read and write and count, but apparently he does not do it in class.  In class he does not want to do the work and sometimes out right refuses to do anything.
I am not making it up.  We have all the workbooks  and worksheets and counting tiles and flashcards…we sit every evening after dinner and go through the things they need to know.  I make up word problems, write up the maths problems and he does it all, without resistance, and he knows what he is doing, so why is this not working in class?  I feel like it is almost futile.  This is not a naughty child.  He is not worse than any other child I know.  I just don’t know what to do anymore.
I do not want him to come home and have to face punishment because he did not do his work at school. I do not want him to feel that all we do is punish.  I wish there was some way to find out what is going on in his head. There must be some reason that he is doing the things that he is doing.  What is going on in class that he refuses to co-operate, when I know he knows the work.  I  know he can count because I have sat and listened to him count to 120, without any problems…and the teacher tells me he cannot count.  He can count backwards from 10, he can count in twos up to 20.  He can recognise all the phonics and he can read three and four letter words.  He can read a three word sentence.  I can tell him a word problems and he can give me the correct answer. He can do a 100 piece puzzle and he has done five different puzzles in the last two months, but at school he cannot do a 48 piece puzzle.
I can tell him a word or show him a picture and he can spell it out for me.  He writes and cuts and colours and sticks and all this means ZILCH….because for whatever reason he cannot do it in class.  Cannot, will not, I don’t know.
I want to beat me chest and stamp my feet and pull out my hair and cry.  He is not yet six years old and will only be six half way through September.  He is my baby and will someone just give him a chance, PLEASE.

Dates and other stuff.

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Hubby and I had our meeting with the educational psychologist this morning.  The relief I feel is so good.  She said to us that she has not spoken to the teacher as she prefers to work without preconceived notions. (I feel better).  She asked us questions about Honeybear and the type of child that he is and all the little things to get to know our little boy from our point of view.

Then she went on to tell us how she would go about her assessment.
The first thing was to meet with us, then Honeybear and also to specifically observe him in class and with his friends.  Also, it would take a few weeks because she had to get to know our child and understand the person he is (big sigh of relief). She also mentioned that sometimes these problems are nothing more than a personality clash between teacher and child ( I am so glad she mentioned that)
After this meeting I feel like I should have sessions with her, as she is so calming and seems to understand the worries and anxieties I feel as a parent.
She asked that we prepare Honeybear for meeting with her next week, and the one thing we might have to do is a bloodtest to rule out physical issues that may be impacting on his classwork.  She did say it would be something that may come, not sure at this stage, and she would help prepare him, should the need arise.  Having them draw blood is not going to be easy for me.
Anyway, I feel better about this whole thing and let us see what happens.
Tomorrow we have the soccer morning and I do not look forward to it.  It is such a long morning for all of us and by the second match we all want to go home and the kids do not want to play the third match.  It is being hosted by another school and they really do not serve nice coffee in proper glass/ porcelain mugs/cups. I know it sounds silly, but you need the coffee to get you through the morning.  It starts early and I just cannot drink out that white polystyrene cup.  I must remember to take my own coffee.
Our school sets up coffee tables with cookies and cups and saucers and mugs and water with lemon and  ice.  Tea and coffee and choices about the type you want.  I guess we are a little spoiled at out school.  It is soccer after all, not a coffee bar.
Honeybear and I are on our own, as Hubby is working this weekend.  I do not mind the time on our own, as it is mothers day and we can do our own dates for the weekend. I am thinking, movie picnic this evening, and then after soccer we may both need a nap.  I am going to make pancakes for Sunday breakfast ( I have a pancake monster on the weekends).  And perhaps a proper outdoor picnic for Sunday afternoon.
Hubby and I have instituted date nights.  Proper ones (it is home or Spur, but at his stage babysitting is just too expensive to on a regular basis).  We wait for Honeybear to go to sleep and then we can watch a grownup movie.  The advantage of the home/Spur date is that we the first part of the evening is a whole family date.
Consciously spending time together is good for all relationships.

The hope springs again.

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Hi Ladies, thank you for all the comments on my previous post. I appreciate the support I receive here, and it gives me hope I am not alone in this parenting jungle.
I have been so mixed up about this whole thing with Honeybear and school.  And then you have a moment when everything settles itself and you worry no more.
I was chatting to my Mom and telling her about it all, when it came to me.  There are only 120 days of the school year left.  That is not a long time in the larger scheme of things.  Honeybear will move to a different class.
So we have decided let him go to the psychologist and if she suggests he needs further sessions, we will be happy to agree.  She is a professional after all. The psychologist, as part of her assessment, will observe Honeybear in the classroom environment too. After the whole thing, the psychologist will also speak to the teacher about the ways in which she needs to interact with my child.  I am fully confident there is nothing for us to worry about.  Also, we then have two independent professionals who are able to also help the teacher, not just Honeybear, and when it comes to school readiness for Grade 1, the teacher is not the only one who will make the decision about Honeybear.
Hubby and I are meeting the psychologist later this week ( I mailed her myself, as I do not want the referral to come from the teacher only, with her  view only). Also, I think meeting her, will help us understand her methods and how impartial she is likely to be, and if the best interests of Honeybear remain at the forefront.
Further, I was chatting to one of the Moms and she let me know that the other parents in the class have been complaining about the teacher and all the therapies she keeps recommending our children need.
I have also told the teacher that after the assessment with the psychologist, we all need a meeting, and I will ask the prep head of school to be a part of that meeting too. This way there are no misunderstandings or thoughts that Hubby and I are ignoring a problem with our son, because we are too whatever.
A plan of action makes us all feel so much better.
I want Honeybear to love learning and going to school.  He loves it now,and I do not want him to lose it because a young teacher does  not yet have the experience ti deal with different personalities.
His previous teacher was older and the nicest lady ever.  Even when she told you that there was something going with your child, she did it in a way that was hopeful, not in a manner that made you think that there was no way out of this thing.