Tag Archives: educational psychologist

I just need this post, for me.

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I will do the party post, I just need to collate the photos…I promise ladies.  Today I want to talk about something else that has been at the forefront of my mind.

There are all my blog posts about the school and educational psychologists, etc.I have been through it all.  The school said, we listened and then had to make the best decision for our child.  I will not allow anyone else to decide for us.  It is hard to decide and stand strong in the face of a “professional opinion”
We had a long meeting with the school principal, psychologist and teacher.  I aired all my unhappiness and the way in which things have been going and basically it was a meeting for the principal to cover her staff.
Hubby and I were clear that the contrast in the school services and the services we paid for was miles apart, hence we have no faith in their abilities.  We thanked them for bringing HB’s “deficiencies” to our attention. I also made it clear that they were lying about some stuff and I had had enough about this.
HB will progress to the next grade.  We have had him tested, he is receiving support for his “deficiencies.”  He is above average academically and between the private educational psychologist, and as parents, we know he is emotionally ready too.  For the sensitive child we have, keeping him back another year may not be the best thing.  Only you as the parent can know your child holistically.  Only you will understand their intricacies, their sensitivities, the things that make them happy and the things that make them sad and scared.  Do not be overwhelmed by all the professionals out there telling you the type of person your child is and what they think your child needs.  I am not saying ignore and not listen.  You should listen to all the separate pieces of information, but at the end of the day, make a decision you know is best for your child.
We have carefully thought about this.  Any delays related to sensory issues, have not translated to the academics.  He is not missing out on school work because of these apparent sensory issues.  Also, he is receiving therapy for these things, every single day.  The emotional problems cited by the teacher has only happened with the teacher.  Not ever at aftercare, not ever for the month he spent at another school over the holidays, not ever at home or anywhere else, but that teacher’s classroom.  In our opinion, the sooner he is out of there, the better.  I am sure she is an excellent teacher, but she is not the right fit for my child.
We will not be forced by any of them because they tell us their business is children and they know what they are talking about.  They have attached a label to my child and now that they cannot say he is behind academically, they say he has emotional problems.  Not sure what they are, but they are there. I advise, keep notes of every single meeting you ever have.  Write them down, because we as parents become emotional and forget. Just rite it all down.  Write down how you are feeling.
I know holding children back an extra year in Grade 0 works wonders for many children.  I was one of those kids that waited to go to school because of a late birthday.  I flew through school.  It was a breeze.  But socially it was always a problem.  I will not have HB have to do that when it is not entirely necessary. In his case, I do not think it will benefit him.  It is not as if they are going to create a special academic programme for him.  He is already becoming bored with some of the current programme, so what will happen next year when it is all the same thing?  He is just going to end up being a child with behaviour problems. he is going to act up because he is bored.  He is going to be upset when his friends move on.  I know he will get over it eventually, but why put him through it in the first place.
Be strong parents.  You love your child and your decisions come from a place of intense love for these little human beings.  Listen to the educational professional, but stand strong in your love and do the best thing for your child.  Your child is not a statistic, your child is not a number, your child is yours to love and protect.
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Breathe and get over it.

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We have been through endless drama with the school situation.  We forked out oodles of money to get private assessments, not just money, but time…endless hours.  And now the school educational psychologist mails me a questionnaire and tells me that she is working out classroom strategies. When there are 60 days of school left, this is when she chooses to get off her butt.  I know what happened.

I complained to the teacher that she has done ZERO…and really, what are we waiting for?  The teacher told her and she quickly decided to send me some questionnaire she downloaded off the internet.  I have no faith in her abilities to help my child in any way.  It has taken her so long to do anything and she insists my child is “behind”…and nothing concrete to support that.
We paid all that money to the private educational psychologist, she did proper standardised tests, wrote us a report, sat down with us and discussed that report.  She also offered encouragement and the way in which we can move forward.  She was clear in all her feedback, not this wishy washy maybe stuff the school psychologist gave to us.
All her email served to do, was make me upset about this all over again.
I said to her that HB will have no more tests.  He is moving to the next grade and I want nothing more tested.  She can work out classroom strategies.  I am curious as to what she is working out, because I actually think the teacher is the one needing the coping strategies, not HB.
I know I am sounding like a crazy mama here, but I am so over this stuff.  I want to hear nothing against my child.  I sat there and listened to it for half a hear…now I am done.
And I think it is time I had another word with the school principal, because this needs to stop.  I have the paper and tests to prove that they are talking hogwash.
DEEP BREATHE!
Moving on, the party prep is going well.  The masks took way longer to complete than I anticipated, however, they are complete.  I have the party packs to complete, because I did not have a chance to get it done over the weekend like I thought.
Hubby has the cake under control and the ninja balls.
I also managed to get my photobooth and bean bag toss game sorted out. I breathed in a whole lot of glue fumes getting them done, but they look great.  I am please with it.  All the cups, plates, etc are bought and neatly packed, ready to set up outside. I am impressed with myself.  I feel like I have things under control again.
We will stop by to organise the food this evening.  Hubby will check up on the tables and chairs to ensure that we have no issues on Saturday.  My cousin has offered help to set up the picnic.  I am looking forward to this, especially my parents.  I have lived outside their house for eleven years now, but I still miss them and I still call their house home (hubby does not understand and is always offended that I still call their house home…but that explanation is another blog).

Weighted Blankets.

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My next project is a weighted blanket for HB.  I have never heard of this before, but it was recommended by the educational psychologist.  She said he may benefit from using one of these in the class, across the legs or shoulders.  Apparently it provides the sensory requirements and may help him sit still.  Proprioceptive sense will be helped by this.  He seems to have an issue with this whole sitting still thing and she suggested deep compression massage and this blanket will help him.  He loves loves loves the massage.

She said the blankets are expensive, so perhaps a sock filled with rice will work just as well as an expensive blanket.  Now I can just see what will happen if I send HB to school with a rice filled sock….there will be rice everywhere, because he is just that kind of child.  Together with his friends they will open it out.  Also, I have this thing about weevils.  What happens if it gets weevils in it..and then they are crawling on him in the class. How would I wash it?  Or would I make a new one every time?
We checked out the price of these blankets, and it is very expensive.  I was surprised at how expensive it is.  So then I decided, I can sew this thing…but what to fill it with?  It is not easy to buy that stuff in South Africa, and the shipping costs too much.  So I decided glass beads…and I tried to buy some only to find that the bead shops don’t want to sell two kilograms of beads to me.  I was told they only sell in small packets. I mean really?  I would have paid for it the same, or bought a hundred small packets if that is what it took, but they do not sell like that. Surely they buy it by the kilogram and could just charge me differently.  No business sense.
I eventually came across glass beads used in road marking paint but I have to buy 25 kilograms and I only need 2.  And this morning I came across Reborn Doll fillings…which is perfect for me to use, and way, way, way cheaper and just as safe to use.
As an aside, those Reborn Dolls are completely creepy…they look like babies…but they are not babies.  However, they have their fans and each to his own.
The glass beads will make the blanket look like a normal blanket, which will take away the interest of opening it up.  The boys are less likely to care about it, if it looks like a normal old blanket.
It is going to take me a long time to sew these little glass beads into the blanket, but at least I will be assured that it is safe, washable and likely to last, because I would have constructed it myself.
Essentially I will make a lining with these beads sewn into the inside and then I will make a cover over it that HB can choose.
I hope it does help him sit still, because this is the point of contention between HB and the teacher.
Added to the blanket we have a home programme of things like deep compression massage and exercises to help him strengthen the core muscles and assist in the chair sitting so loved by schools.

Two blogs in one day!

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I feel like I want to run outside and scream it to everyone and anyone…MY CHILD IS FINE!!!!!!

We had the big assessment today and HB is fine…academically and emotionally and there is no need to keep him back to repeat a year.  She says he is actually very intelligent.

Yes he does not always listen or sit still and needs to be moving, but that is not a big issue.  We will do some exercises at home to encourage him to sit still for longer.  He does not even need the speech therapy he is currently receiving.  He just needs patience and tolerance.

It was suggested maybe there is a personality conflict between HB and the teacher and perhaps she is not being as patient as she should be.

I want to tell everyone that my baby is fine and just be nice to him.  He is mine and he is fine and he is good and he is beautiful.

 

Updates.

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This weekend I have engaged the services of a lovely lady to help us out with the domestic situation. She said she would eat whatever we eat and the only request she made was for instant coffee.  We use a coffee machine, and I think we have become used to the stronger coffee. 
We agreed on a payment of R170,00 per day.  I feel it is a little low, but for now we will see, and if it works out, I will raise that to where we are comfortable. I have told her that I cannot fetch and drop her, she has to make her own way to us, and that will be the test, if she can make it to us on her own.   Thank you all for the advice on my previous post.
I took some time for myself and sewed a pair of palazzo pants for myself.  I just wanted to sew something that was not utilitarian and wanted to do something for me.  HB declares it is too big (he does not understand the style is meant to be floaty and almost a skirt).  he says I cannot wear it anywhere.  Hubby was also a bit sceptical, but I do not take fashion advice from either one of them, I buy their clothes for them.  I love it.  It is comfortable, printed linen, and I think it is pretty.  I shall wear it wherever I want to. 
This morning HB is having his school readiness assessment as I write.  I wish I could be there, but I cannot be. Hubby is going to be there.  I am far too anxious to be there and I will communicate that to HB.  Hubby will go back later for the part that the parent can observe.  Good thing there is so much drama in the news to keep me distracted. 
We received the school fees notification for next year…14% increase.  I have closed it, put it away and I will think about it next January.  I refuse to pay upfront at the beginning of the year, as a 5% discount is not enough of an incentive. If we invest the lump sum for a year we can get a few percent higher interest.
 
PS: while I write Hubby sent me a message saying it was so hard to drop HB off at the test.  He says he went back to the car and broke down crying….I was bad and selfish to leave it to him alone.