I was up early on the cold Saturday morning making pancakes for HB….it was all mommy guilt.  The day before I fetch him from school t o find that he had lost a second pair of shoes in two weeks. I was so angry with him.  I told him he is getting no TV, and this, time, no toys or books either.  He just needs to go to his room and face the wall until bedtime.  I was so angry as that is almost R600 for the two pairs of shoes and socks.

However, I knew I was very angry and I did not want to be shouty crazy mom, so I did let him watch TV, because I needed a timeout for myself.

Sunday found me buying a new pair of shoes for him (at this stage he only has his house boots, which he was wearing out, and his brown school shoes…I had to buy new shoes). He offered for us to sell the WII, but I said it was fine.  We will not sell it (who would buy it anyway), but he will not be allowed to play anymore and no more tuck shop treats on Fridays, in fact no more treats at all.

The no more treats thing is going to be hard because we have a birthday party, and a stage outing planned for this week…and both are going to come with treats.  Also, we need for him to get a vaccination, which usually involves a treat.

But back to the pancakes: he was very hurt by me telling him he would have to look at a wall all evening.  He was even teary up on Saturday when we spoke about it. He did ask for a play date, but I said that he could not have one, due to the shoes.

How do you deal with your child losing their school stuff? I started taking things away, but there is not much more to take.  I am not in the habit of punishing, and what punishment is appropriate?  Also, he is not doing anything  out of the ordinary for his age group, all the kids are losing stuff everyday.  I see it in the class group. His teacher mentioned that he is one of the better ones at remembering, but still, it does get expensive. As to why the stuff does not get returned?…all I can think is that someone else has his clearly marked items and has not returned it. My phone number is on everything…..?


9 responses »

  1. A friend of mine had a great idea – her daughter got R10 pocket money a week, for each day in which something didn’t come home – a water bottle, her shoes, her homework book – R2 got deducted. So the aim was for that paper money at the end of a week. It worked pretty well!

    • We did think about this, but he has no sense of money. For now we have taken away TV watching ( but with the little he is allowed, it does not make a big difference). I have to find a a way to make him understand the meaning of losing something.

  2. Ai one of mine left shoes at school once but our amazing grounds personell picked them up and we got them in the morning. Needs to somehow repay but needs to understand more the importance of not loosing his things

  3. Ja, nee. It’s so infuriating. Thing is, kids loose things, that’s just how it is. The shoes must be somewhere, just in someone else’s possession, someone who can’t be bothered or is too dishonest to return them. Scratching through the lost and found and aftercare is horrifying. I mean, who isn’t missing a pair of shoes. School shoes no less. It’s shocking.

    • The school makes a huge effort to return items which are labelled. The ground staff takes all items to lost and found. The administrative assistant returns labeled items to the teacher and if it passes her, the secondhand shop goes through all labelled items against class lists and returns it to each class. So if something is not returned, some other family took it.

      • That’s what gets me. The school and aftercare do their best to returned marked things. Why don’t other parents. I still haven’t found a pair of school shorts, clearly marked, at either the school or aftercare. Liam gets in such a panic when he loses things, he starts to hyperventilate, LOL

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