The meeting.


This drama of the school thing had me so down for the earlier part of this week.  We had our all inclusive meeting and I left it feeling like the worst tiger mother and so sad and inadequate.

The three women turned up late and unprepared, so it was a waste of time, as the could offer nothing in terms of the way forward.  I found them to be patronising and uninformed.

I was so upset, I just cried and that continued up to yesterday.  I have seriously been considering moving him to another school.

Moving schools is not a really feasible option for us because we really do not have the money to just move, and really that school is a very good school and it was a carefully considered decision when we chose that school for HB.  All my feelings yesterday is a very unconsidered emotional response, not necessarily rational.  The money we can make a plan, and that fact will not be the deciding factor.  HB’s well being will always be the only factor.

The principal was not in the meeting, because I decided not to ask her, and escalate the whole thing to a level we could not resolve.  Anyway, she did call me and we had a long chat.

I then decided, all caution to the wind, and I was frank with her that I feel the teacher is not giving him a chance to be himself, and he is has been forced into a label, and I feel that he cannot shake that label if he remains in that teacher’s class.  I also said that we were considering moving schools, because this is all too much.  I just feel my child needs to be given a  chance to learn in his way and also, he is not in Grade 1 so can we please stop forcing that pressure onto him.

I was also clear that I think the teacher is not making an effort to assess him properly.  I mentioned that we are paying for a private school for one on one attention for our child in the class, so I cannot accept it when the class teacher says she cannot give it to him.

The principal was very calming, objective and she was great to talk to.  She invited us to observe in the class anytime we feel like it (not that I think that will help, because it is not as is we can do it secretly).

I am glad I told the principal everything that has been going around in my head, because she helped putting it into perspective.  She also knows that we are not going to sit back while our child is walked all over.  I may have been totally out of line criticising the teacher, but I did say, it was my subjective view of the teacher, and I do realise that it is not necessarily a true reflection of the teacher.  I was also clear that I felt that they are not helping and I wish they could provide more direction.

I have made enquiries to get a private evaluation for HB, but I have held off actually making the appointment.  He has enough with all the testing and I think he needs to know he is good enough just the way he is.  Even if he cannot read or whatever the teacher feels, he is good enough and is our darling child and we love him, and do not need for him to bend into a pretzel to fit into a mould.


6 responses »

  1. Did the principal not suggest that he move into another class or is that not an option? Sjoe, this is a lot on you all shame especially considering that he’s not even in grade 1 yet. Sorry to hear that the meeting wasn’t so great 😦

    • No, and HB does genuinely likes the teacher and the class. At this stage we have done everything we can do, and I love Google so I do have resources of my own to refer to. I did also say they were to expect and email with our requirements, because we did not get it at the meeting.

      • Oh man – nobody wants to deal with school issues at this stage 😦 You’re forking out a fortune then still need to do so much “admin”! Sorryyyyyyy.

  2. Its good that you could talk openly to the principal. It still seems like everyone has a problem with HB where there is no actual problem. And then to come unprepared to a meeting??
    In Liam’s playschool they had cameras in each class and we were invited to come in secretly to see how the kids were doing. Quite fun to see what they get up to.
    It does seem to be too much pressure, especially since he isn’t in Grade 1 yet. Even in Grade 2 I can’t remember having to learn all this stuff so soon.
    I really hope things come to a head with this situation.

    • Haha, I was told, this is why the school does not like to take kids from outside the school. They prefer the kids who started in the school pre-prep phase. Why? Those kids from outside are not on par with the school because this school expects more…I feel to the detriment of the kids.
      We are going to relax about it all…the best I can…and we will do the private evaluation around October.
      Yes, our nursery school also had cameras, but I don’t think there are cameras here, inside the class.

      • I think expecting more from them than what they are able to do just yet is like setting them up for failure. Sure, don’t treat the kids like babies, but trying to achieve something that is beyond their years isn’t good.
        You are doing the best you can. You are a fab parent

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