And again we see the teacher.


This morning we had another meeting with the class teacher to discuss HB.  This time it seems he had an episode of note, that I even had a call from the school principal about it.  I am not sure what else we are supposed to do.  He is seeing a speech therapist, he is seeing the psychologist, and we never have these incidents at home.

I was frank with the teacher, that we do not experience these things at home, so I am not sure what to do.   We cannot punish or guide behavior we are not experiencing ourselves.  The same of the classwork…at home he can read and write and count, but apparently he does not do it in class.  In class he does not want to do the work and sometimes out right refuses to do anything.
I am not making it up.  We have all the workbooks  and worksheets and counting tiles and flashcards…we sit every evening after dinner and go through the things they need to know.  I make up word problems, write up the maths problems and he does it all, without resistance, and he knows what he is doing, so why is this not working in class?  I feel like it is almost futile.  This is not a naughty child.  He is not worse than any other child I know.  I just don’t know what to do anymore.
I do not want him to come home and have to face punishment because he did not do his work at school. I do not want him to feel that all we do is punish.  I wish there was some way to find out what is going on in his head. There must be some reason that he is doing the things that he is doing.  What is going on in class that he refuses to co-operate, when I know he knows the work.  I  know he can count because I have sat and listened to him count to 120, without any problems…and the teacher tells me he cannot count.  He can count backwards from 10, he can count in twos up to 20.  He can recognise all the phonics and he can read three and four letter words.  He can read a three word sentence.  I can tell him a word problems and he can give me the correct answer. He can do a 100 piece puzzle and he has done five different puzzles in the last two months, but at school he cannot do a 48 piece puzzle.
I can tell him a word or show him a picture and he can spell it out for me.  He writes and cuts and colours and sticks and all this means ZILCH….because for whatever reason he cannot do it in class.  Cannot, will not, I don’t know.
I want to beat me chest and stamp my feet and pull out my hair and cry.  He is not yet six years old and will only be six half way through September.  He is my baby and will someone just give him a chance, PLEASE.

19 responses »

    • The psychologist also mentioned perhaps boredom is part of it. However, my little one needs to understand that sometimes we just have to do things, even if we do not like it.
      I don’t think he is advanced, because that seems to be the expectation of all the kids in Grade 0 now….I also don’t remember doing that much.

  1. He and the teacher obviously don’t get on, for whatever reason, and let’s face it, do you co-operate with someone you don’t really like.
    I do also like Surita’s thinking that perhaps he is too advanced and is bored. He knows he can do it so why must he prove it to someone who seems to have it out for him.
    Maybe just explain that you understand he doesn’t like doing things in class, but he needs to show everyone that he CAN do it. Tell him you will be so proud of him if he just shows off a little. Show them what he can do. Kids love it when you tell them you are so very proud of him.

  2. I would seriously if he doesn’t get a bit of stage fright at school. Mr used to perform her orals like a pro at home…. get to school and not utter a word. Her grade 1teacher figured it out and allowed her to do her oral from under her desk, then progressed to doing it while class was at break then at break with a few friends in the class and ow she can manage just fine. I suspect this teacher just doesn’t get your child and I’m sorry for all of you.

    • To be honest, it has crossed my mind many times, however, I am reluctant because I still feel this school was the right choice. The public school down the road is a scary place, and there has been much drama of the other private school in terms of racism, etc…I have actually looked at moving him completely out of our area, but it depends on whether can make the logistics work.

  3. It’s clear to me that the environment at school is either 1) scary to him or 2) intimidating but obviously if they are not getting the behaviour from him that he can clearly exhibit, then you probably have to switch teachers if there is another same age class, or otherwise switch schools.

    I may have said this to you before but this stuff is serious because you want him to LOVE learning. It’s not about the darn puzzle or whatever, but it’s about his perception that the teacher WANTS him to succeed, and thinks that he can, not that he can’t. It will take years to fix his confidence in the classroom if you don’t address it now.

    You can do it!

    • I have tried talking to him and he says it is too loud and he cannot concentrate in class. This is not a hearing thing, because we had his hearing tested. It is his perception and relation to the class environment.
      After talking to the teacher again, I have to say, she is willing to help and change the way in which she interacts with HB. She is willing to make changes to ensure she can get the best from him. So working together, hopefully we can make this work, as I also realise he will begin to hate it and have a bad perception of himself as a person.

  4. Gosh I really do not know the answer but have you had him tested for sensory integration issues? A lot of kids with SPD has problems with noise and sound. L for instance can not concentrate when the bigger classes are changing classes so they allow him to wear earmuffs (like you use on a shooting range) in that period of time. Maybe cutting out the noise is an option?

    • Cat I think you must have a secret psychologist persona in there. This also crossed our minds and she has tested to see if this is something we need to consider.
      We just need to juggle schedule to get the feedback from her on the sessions she has and what her evaluation has revealed.

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