Live nice.

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Yesterday I had a huge Mummy fail.  I still feel so bad about it.  I know we all do it and I will do it again….

I have been emotional about everything.  I don’t know why.  Perhaps it is starting the pill after having a break for a month or I am going nuts or ….whatever, but I have been all over the place.  Yesterday I was feeling a little frazzled and figured a good 45 minutes exercise would help.  So this was the plan in my mind.
However, when I fetched HB from school he was wet. I asked him what happened and he said that he went to the toilet and he wet his pants because he could not get them off fast enough.  So I explained this was fine, but he needs to tell his teacher and I showed him the spare clothes in his bag.  I told him these things happen but number one is perhaps go to the toilet before he gets desperate and then if he gets wet, there are spare clothes in his bag, and he can ask his teacher for help to change.  Pretoria is freezing cold at the moment and wet jeans cannot be good.
He has only wet himself once before and that was also the same situation, where he waited too long to go to the toilet.
By the time we get home, I had to wash and change him immediately because it is freezing cold.  So no time for either one of us to have a break, like we usually do.  We usually take 20 minutes for ourselves before we need to do anything, when we get home.  HB also gets a snack to get him to dinner time.
I was tired, he was tired, and I just ranted at the poor child.  I did not shout, but I ranted at him enough to make him cry.  It was horrible.  I was a horrible mother who just made her little child cry because things were going on that had nothing to do with him, but he happened to be there.  I am the adult…and adults should know better.  Adults do not do that to children.  Adults do not make children cry over stupid stuff.  Wetting your pants when you are not even six years old is stupid stuff.  You grow out of it.  What set the rant off was when I found he had not cleaned up properly after going to the toilet because he was in too much of a hurry to get back to play.  He is a child and kids do this.  Not adults and adults should not lose control like that. Yes I did not shout or smack but I did make him feel bad enough that he cried.  And toilet accidents is a definite thing you do not make kids feel bad about.  I know this, but I did it anyway.
Yes we made up and cuddled and got over it because he is a sweet child and forgives me.  I explained mama did a bad thing today and we do not do that to each other.
I have made excuses for myself, but still, we do not do that.
I spent a good part of the evening crying and feeling like a failure.  I still feel like a failed mother. I know I am good most of the time, but it is episodes like yesterday that stick in the mind and you realise that when the times get tough, you fall apart.
Learn from me ladies, we have to be nice to our children, not just take care of them.  We have to be nice to these precious little bodies, because being nice and good to them is more important than packing the correct lunch box or educational crafts or pretty clothes.
Being nice and living nice and good will ensure that when you are the end of your string, there will be reserve string waiting to help you get by.
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6 responses »

  1. Aww man, I’ve done this, still do. I’m sure we all do this, go of at our kids because WE are having a crappy day. Fortunately kids get over it quickly enough, while we still brew about it and punish ourselves for days on end.
    DH tells me all the time that I’m not constant. What is fine one day is not fine the next day. I have no answer as how to change this, it’s just who we are
    Thank goodness kids don’t hold grudges
    Hugs MC, it was just a bad day. Don’t beat yourself up about it too much

  2. I can’t agree more. Thanks to all the time and love and attention of the past 10 years Zoe could almost be on auto pilot whilst I picked up the pieces the past 8 months.

  3. Ah these things happen – don’t be so hard on yourself. And you know what, he won’t even remember these odd snapping moments in years to come. You’re also human. Btw, why didn’t the teacher change his pants – confused??? He’ll forget this incident very quickly.

  4. You know what, we are all human – and I know my daughter gets it. HB will get it too. There are good days and bad days – he needs to realise that and learn to cope with those too – one day when he’s out in the big bad world, he will have colleagues/bosses/friends/a partner who also have tough days who will have moments of overreaction, and it’s better to learn that these things happen and how to deal with them at home.
    Try to put the guilt away, not easy, I know.

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