Honeybear and sleeping has always been a thing with us.  He was one of those babies who did not sleep and needed to be carried all the time.  While exhausting sometimes, I was mostly fine with it.  Who does not want to cuddle a baby?

So Honeybear ended up in our room and everyone  finally had some sleep.  So that worked for a long time, until Hubby suggested it was time to move him to his own room (which we had spent a long time getting just right).

So to his room Honeybear went and he slept there for a while.  Then was holidays and it was then too cold and then he was back with us again.

Now while it is not nice to sleep in the bedside table, I was happy having Honeybear in the bed.  I felt more relaxed, and I slept better.  Honeybear slept better.  However, hubby is not all that happy.  He says he is fine with it, but I know he is not.

So last night we stuck Honeybear back in his room.  23h30 found me crying into my pillow because I wanted my baby in the bed with me.  Hubby was blissfully sleeping (snoring very loudly).  I could not sleep and was still awake at about 01h00, when Honeybear called for me.  He was crying and scared of his clock (which he had asked me to refresh with batteries earlier in the evening).

So with about seven soft toys and a pillow I moved him back into our bed.  Hubby fetched another blanket, I moved into the bedside table and we all slept blissfully until the alarm.

Is there a support group for mothers who are struggling to let go.  I can see that that while I love having Honeybear int bed with us, and while hubby say he is fine, I know he would prefer that Honeybear sleep in his own bed.

I am just nuts, I know.  I cannot let my almost five year old go, just across the passage.

Why do I feel like this?

Honeybear just never seems old enough.

I cannot see the harm in letting him sleep with us until he is ready to move to his room.

We see so little of each other, that the night time contact feels important to me.

Honeybear loves sleeping with us, why should he not get what he wants, especially when I feel the same.

It is socially acceptable elsewhere.

I feel like maybe it is not such a big deal, but then I think maybe it is.  Maybe I am going to create emotional problems for Honeybear.

Today is one of those I feel the uncertainties of motherhood a little bit stronger.


12 responses »

  1. We would need 2 king sized beds to fit all of us in because Liam takes up so much room. While I still lie with him until he falls asleep I am grateful that he sleeps in his own bed. I am a very light sleeper so I can hear every peep and check on him often.
    It’s hard to let go and you just find what works for you.

    • We do have one king sized bed, but as you say, they take up loads of room. HB likes to stick against someone, wiggle those toes into your tummy kind of child.

  2. I have the opposite – she has slept in her own room from day 1, and it really suits all of us. If we do sleep in one room – holidays and those sorts of things, we end up all disturbing one another, and have generally bad nights.

  3. I have two colleagues who’s children slept in their beds till the tender age of 7! So if anything, hopefully that makes you feel better?! Hahahaha. I honestly think that it’s each to their own. Ethan was in his own cot in his own room at the age of…3weeks! Riley at 6weeks and that’s only because my folks stayed with us until then and we couldn’t make up the “nursery” until they had left. The only downfall from me – coming from the other side of not having the kids in my bed EVER – is when they’re sick. I often sleep with them in their own beds because they are not used to sleeping in our bed so even when they’re sick, they battle to sleep between us.

    • Honeybear slept in his own room for almost his whole first year. We started at day one, I was the one trooping up and down, sometimes more than ten times a night. I was struggling and breastfeeding and working, so I eventually gave in and brought him to our bed. It took a while before we three were used to it.

  4. Ai kids that don’t sleep well are so tough to handle.
    I can’t sleep with a kid in my bed so never battled with this problem.
    Mine all slept in their own rooms in their own cots/beds from the day they came home from the hospital.
    Hope you find a solution soon.

  5. Trying to find an email address for you – but not… GO read my reply on your comments on the Gateway to Space – I think you have facts wrong .You can take him

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