So Honeybear ended up in our room and everyone finally had some sleep. So that worked for a long time, until Hubby suggested it was time to move him to his own room (which we had spent a long time getting just right).
So to his room Honeybear went and he slept there for a while. Then was holidays and it was then too cold and then he was back with us again.
Now while it is not nice to sleep in the bedside table, I was happy having Honeybear in the bed. I felt more relaxed, and I slept better. Honeybear slept better. However, hubby is not all that happy. He says he is fine with it, but I know he is not.
So last night we stuck Honeybear back in his room. 23h30 found me crying into my pillow because I wanted my baby in the bed with me. Hubby was blissfully sleeping (snoring very loudly). I could not sleep and was still awake at about 01h00, when Honeybear called for me. He was crying and scared of his clock (which he had asked me to refresh with batteries earlier in the evening).
So with about seven soft toys and a pillow I moved him back into our bed. Hubby fetched another blanket, I moved into the bedside table and we all slept blissfully until the alarm.
Is there a support group for mothers who are struggling to let go. I can see that that while I love having Honeybear int bed with us, and while hubby say he is fine, I know he would prefer that Honeybear sleep in his own bed.
I am just nuts, I know. I cannot let my almost five year old go, just across the passage.
Why do I feel like this?
Honeybear just never seems old enough.
I cannot see the harm in letting him sleep with us until he is ready to move to his room.
We see so little of each other, that the night time contact feels important to me.
Honeybear loves sleeping with us, why should he not get what he wants, especially when I feel the same.
It is socially acceptable elsewhere.
I feel like maybe it is not such a big deal, but then I think maybe it is. Maybe I am going to create emotional problems for Honeybear.
Today is one of those I feel the uncertainties of motherhood a little bit stronger.