Letting it go….trying really hard.

I really do not like seeing things I should not see.  It disturbs my equilibrium and satisfaction.  It was not really intended for me to see, but I ended up seeing the salaries of everyone in the office.  Not my fault, it was sent to me by mistake.  I could have not read it, but I did.

The two most senior people in this office: earn the lowest out of all the professionals in the same category.  I happen to be one of those.  Younger members with the same degree and less then 5 years experience earn more.  For heavens sake, the student earns more than I do.  And he works part-time and still manages to earn more than I do.  The other person with a lessor qualification and less experience also earns more than I do.  I earn the lowest out of everyone, with the exception of the admin lady, the cleaners and the two 21 year olds.

Ok, I know I should never have seen it, and this is exactly why I should never have seen it.  I should never have continued to read it, and now it serves me right.  Now I feel undervalued and under appreciated.  I know it is my own fault, and no one else can be blamed.  It is not that I do not have the skills and ability to do this job, because I do.  Anyone will agree that I am good at what I do.  However, I very obviously lack skills in salary negotiation.  If the student part-time worker can negotiate a better salary then I can, then there is something very wrong with me.

So now I have some more stuff that I must work on letting go. I have to let this go.  I was happy with my salary and I should still be happy with it, even if it seems everyone else earns more than I do. 

14 responses »

  1. Ohhh dear – I know exactly how you feel. Only difference is that I do the salaries and therefore have the knowledge and it irks me all the time to see what I do and earn in comparison….
    It is not an easy hurdle to overcome, good luck.

  2. Oh Goodness, this is tough. Obviously whoever sent it to you knows you saw it, and come on, really, who would not have read it.
    As I understand it, you have a relatively open relationship with one of the bosses? Perhaps think of a round-about way you can chat to him/her about it? Hard I know. No one likes asking for money, even if it is deserved.
    Its not fair. Even here I see the same people busting their asses while the same people sit back and collect their pay each month. How do they go home feeling they are deserving of their salary? The same way they can sit back and do nothing each day.
    Gosh, I know you want to let go, but this is going to niggle in your brain until you explode

    • Yes will niggle, but hopefully it will go away. I have decided to speak to them. Just a chat about me, not related to anyone else and what they earn or do.

  3. Sjoe, this is a hard one! So so hard. You can’t reverse what you read. I always say to my husband that his work hours, duties and salary are negotiated between him and the employer and have nothing to do with anybody else. So it’s really none of his business what colleagues are earnings and how late they come in or early they leave…that’s their manager’s problem and is regulated by their contract with the company. But in all fairness, he doesn’t have any factual proof of what others earn, he just assumes whereas now you actually know. I don’t know if I’d be able to let this go!!

  4. I hate seeing things like this – that is so frustrating. Yes, it does make you feel undervalued and unappreciated. I’m not sure how you let it go, but I will be cheering you on from the sidelines – you need to find peace with it all.

  5. yearrrrs ago I happened to ask where on the percentile for my grade i fell. I was HORRIFIED at the answers and since that day I wasn’t happy. It’s very hard to un-know things. I recently said to a friend that she was entitled to the same information from her HR (big corporates) but she needed to be very sure what she would do with that information – you are either happy or unhappy, and more than likely unhappy so then it colours everything.

    Good luck with your chat 🙂

  6. I would really chat to them and ask them where do they value your input. You sound very sure of your contribution – so I would totally take them up on the task. Obviously they know you saw it – so be open.

    • I will speak with them, but I do not think I can use anyone else’s salary as a reason for me to have a salary adjustment. I have enough merits of my own, and to be honest, no one told me this is what I am worth, I am bad at this salary negotiation thing.

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