The pace of growing up

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Honeybear is doing well at school and he seems to be having a developmental growth spurt.  There are so many new things coming along.   Singing and dancing and cutting and coloring inside the lines.  He has a much bigger vocabulary.  He finally understands the concept of colours, numbers and self.  It seems like you try to teach and you get no where, and one day they suddenly know it.

I want to start to teach him about swimming and water safety.  Hubby and I disagree on the best approach.  I think I am right, because I actually know how to swim.  Hubby does not.  I suggested the two of them have swimming lessons together, but Hubby does not want to.  For now I want to teach Honeybear myself, because I am not comfortable with swimming lessons where I am not allowed to be with my child.  I need to know for myself that he knows the basics and that he will listen to a teacher.

I worry endlessly that I am enabling Honeybear’s reserve.  He is child that takes a while to get used to people.  He does not take to strangers quickly and I allow him to take his time.   I do not force him to meet people he does not want to interact with, I let him burrow into my shoulder to avoid people, Hubby will take him away if he needs to get away. I do not like to force him to do things, and Hubby believes I let too many things slide (Hubby does the same as I btw).

I wonder if I need to get him to interact more with other people.  Maybe I am doing a disservice to my child by allowing him to shy away from others.  It does make life very difficult, because we are cannot just leave him with anyone to babysit.  Signing him up for extra activities does not work, because he will not deal with new teachers easily.  Last year it took three months before he settled down and began to love Monkeynastix.  This year we just left him in the same thing, only because I cannot deal with the stress of an unhappy child.

Sleeping in our bed….I still do not mind, I think Hubby is beginning to mind.  However, once again, I do not want to force.  Gently cajole is my plan.  I told Honeybear he can have a dog (a huge toy one), if the dog can sleep in his bed with him.  My child loves animals, especially dogs and he goes so far as to pretend he is a dog himself.  This Saturday I want to take him shopping to pick out his own dog.  I am hoping the new pillow (a lovely one my Dad made for him) and his new dog might do the trick.  I am not sure I can actually sleep with him in another room.

Yes we have the baby monitor and he is just in the next room, but I am worried.  Honeybear and I sleep glued to each other.  Not so great for me, but touch is very important to him.  It calms him down to know someone is next to him.  He only started to sleep through the night when we let him sleep in our bed.  It took three whole years to achieve sleeping though the night, and I am not sure I am up to waking up multiple times a night to placate a child who does not want to sleep in his room.

On the upside of everything, I am busy doing my amazing thing and I am all warm and fuzzy J

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9 responses »

  1. I hear at four or five they finally sleep through! Even though Nicky is in his own room by himself for the first part of the night, I spend the rest of the night there. I just don’t want to walk up and down.

  2. Liam has one on one lessons with a teacher. 15 minutes each week. Parents HAVE to be there, it’s not a request, it’s an order. There has to be someone similar near you. I didn’t think the Liam would listen to me trying to teach him to swim and that it would become a game to him. I was right. He’s doing really well at swimming.
    Some kids are just shy, I don’t think there is anything you can do about it. I have no advise in this regard really as Liam is the complete opposite of Honeybear. I don’t know why as DH and I are both quite shy, DH more so.
    When I did Liams’s room up from a baby room to a big boy room, I involved him in the change and got him to help me. Well, for half an hour any way. Now I tell him he has the best bed in the whole world and I don’t mind sleeping on it. There is no way he is going to share the best bed in the world with Mum. Then again, different kids. Liam has been in his own bed since very tiny. Hehe, I still have the monitor on and he’s nearly 6!
    You are doing fab and HB will adjust when he is ready. I think forcing situations just makes it worse and everyone is unhappy.

    • Last night he slept in his room the whole night. There was no fuss, nothing. I hardly slept all night. I think I irritated hubby with all my wakings to go check on my baby.
      I am going to try the swimming thing tomorrow and see how it goes with me as the teacher.
      I saw a really nice swimming school with an indoor heated pool. Hoping it will work
      for us.
      Maybe I just called the silly ones who want me not to be by the pool.

      • Yay for sleeping in his own bed! What a huge step, for you both. I also wake often with the excuse of needing the loo but I check on Liam each time.
        Perhaps you did call the silly ones who didn’t want parents. That just sounds so wrong.

  3. Sounds like Honeybear is doing so well – clever little guy!
    Jamie does swimming lessons where his dad does it with him – the teacher demonstrates and then Jamie does it with his dad at his side the whole time. It’s there daddy/boy time every week. It works out well, I would also not want him to do it alone with the teacher or in a group.
    Gosh, Jamie is also 5 and still climb into bed with us too. Now Shae is also co-sleeping… can you say crowded!

  4. Own bed, swimming lessons – the boy is growing up. (I don’t know of any lessons in my area that expect the parents to leave the children and go, certainly not at this young age, maybe you did just hit a dodgy one)

  5. Most swimming teachers I know like the parents of the little ones to be there. In the water if needed, out but watching if not. Try the Virgin active gyms if you are a member. They all have swimming coaches

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