My failing 3 year old

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Since I have all this time… I may as well write a blog post.  I have been hopelessly neglecting this blog.

My darling little boy is more darling every day.  I look at him, and I cannot imagine what great thing I must have done to deserve a gift like this.  He is beautiful, sweet, strong willed, intelligent…everything I need him to be.

At the end of last year I was told that he does not know anything, and maybe they need to keep him back in the same class.  My baby was falling school at three already.  I was worried, and Hubby and I spoke about things.  I was very certain he could do a lot of the things they said he could not, and I did not think it was important that he knows colors and shapes and counting up to ten at three.  Yes, there are kids out there who know, but my baby is not one of them.

I figured the language might be an issue, because the only shape he knows is circle.  I think it is because the English and Afrikaans words sound the same for that shape.

December we went to Durban, and my mind was put at ease.  Kids older than my baby do not know that stuff, and two of my aunts (who are foundation phase teachers) assured me that at three, my baby is not backward, and he does not need to know.  It was explained at this age, teaching and learning is incidental.  Eg.  I say look at the orange bus, and he learns what the colour orange is.

So moving on, he moved to the new class, and lo and behold…the new teacher says my baby is keeping up.  He is not a talker, he is an introvert (which I already know).  She says he is quiet, but he actually knows what he is doing.  He keeps up with the class.  I did ask that they teach in English please (they were supposed to be doing that in the first place).

I did not want to be one of those mothers who refuse to listen when someone says your child is not developing as he should.  I think he is fine, and I know I have not harmed him by not letting him stay back in the old class.  At his age, and sensitivity, his social attachments are far more important.  He would have missed his friends and definitely his bestie.

However, the time has come to actively search for an English medium school.  This bilingual thing is not working, because some schools do not respect the fact that English children actually live in Pretoria.  So they advertise as bilingual, but teach in Afrikaans only.  While I have nothing against Afrikaans, I need him to learn in English.

Hubby and I have been better, and he makes the most delicious smoothies for me (still sticking with that one).

We have lost our cleaning service, and at the moment I do not have the patience to go look for another one, or a domestic worker type.  This does mean I have to spend a large chunk of Saturday morning cleaning up (hubby is working every other Saturday).  I love walking into a clean and tidy house.  Mt aim this year is get rid of all the junk to make cleaning easier.  I also want to have the kitchen updated and made pretty and nice again.

We had a call from the in laws and they need money.  I knew this was coming, and I am surprised it took this long.  Hubby was livid.  He has asked them numerous times to come live closer to us, especially since his Dad dos not seem to be doing well, and his Mom cannot take care of him, she needs help herself.  I thin Hubby is worried about them and he is frustrated he cannot help them from 1400km away.  Throwing money at the situation is not helping it, just enabling a failing lifestyle.

I do not know what to say to Hubby.  I suggested, instead of giving them extra money which always seems to be squandered, we should take over paying for something essential to their well being, like medical aid, or organizing grocery delivery once a month.  We can shop on the internet and have it delivered, that way we know they are actually eating.

I just wish they would listen.  At this point I am even amenable to them coming and living in our house.  However, I am the evil daughter in law, so I am why they will not listen.  (Ok maybe it is not that bad, they do not think I am evil)

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9 responses »

  1. I was told last year that during the assessment that Liam didn’t know his alphabet. His teacher told the principal that that was rubbish and HER kids knew the alphabet. I knew it was rubbish also as Liam knows all his flashcards, without the letterland picture and out of sync. Sometimes the kids get nervous when they are asked to repeat something that they do know for testing purposes.
    At least DH and I are on the same page about being taught in English. Him being Afrikaans himself he says the learning in English is just easier.
    You know your kid and your decisions will be fine. (I wish I could take my own advise)
    Hehe, you sound just like DH and the situation with my Mum. Our parents ask for our advise when they are in a pickle but then they turn around and do the exact opposite. If you are able to then I think helping them pay essential bills, etc is a brilliant idea.

    • Lol, I think I mentioned before, I think like your DH. I always understand his side when you write about him.
      My child will shut down when he is out of his comfort zone. he will completely ignore what he does not want to deal with. He will just pretend you are not there, so I can only imagine how he behaves when someone is trying to test him.

      • LOL, you are like my DH and I am like Honeybear. I also shut out things I don’t want to understand. It’s like me and Maths at school. I decided in Std 8 that I didn’t understand it so I didn’t even try anymore. I just tuned out of it.
        Perhaps we should get together, haha.

  2. Ohhh dear the in laws are a problem. At one stage we realised that Hubby’s mom has stopped cooking and eating proper food so we started to order Woolworths food for her – it really did help and it made us feel less guilty.

    Whatever you do don’t let them come and stay with you guys – with the way the act towards you, it is a certain recipe for disaster. Maybe find out about some kind of old age home where there is a grant or something?

    At 3 years a child can’t be failing – they all develop at a different pace and some can be very headstrong – if they don’t want to do something they won’t. You are such a caring mom involved in HB’s development that I very much doubt that he is behind, maybe he just didn’t like last year’s teacher?

    How is the new job going?

    • The in laws are in their own world, and we just decided to pay for the medical aid now. They live so out of the way, I cannot find delivery to their home, for any store. They have one Saverite where they live, which is not online.
      We are looking for another house now, hopefully one with a granny flat so they can have their own space. I really wanted to keep our current townhouse, but we cannot afford two homeloans.
      He loves that teacher, but since he seems to be keeping pace with the class, I do not know what the problem was.
      The new job is going great. Had my 3 month performance chat yesterday and it went so well. Thank you for asking RM.

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