I really do not like running after people to do stuff. I am still having to chase the truck guys that rear ended my poor old car. Yes it is old and may not be the most beautiful car in the world, but it is my car which I bought with my money and I take care of it. Whether it is a new car or an old car, I feel they need to pay for the damage they did to my poor car. I have now told them that they have until the end of the month to sort this out otherwise they can play with the legal department at my own insurance. I am also the one that will have to sit without a car while it is being fixed, so I really think they should not inconvenience my life anymore.
OK rant done.
Work is all over the place and I do not know what I am doing anymore. My job description is all mixed up right now, and I do not know if it is me being an idiot here. I think maybe I do not understand what I should do…because these are good people I work for. To be honest I do think what I do is pretty straight forward and it would be easy to see if I am not producing or there are mistakes on site because I am not doing the right thing. I am also beginning to think maybe I have to tone down my way of doing things…which I am not ready to do. I am very aware of the ethics, professionalism and responsibilities I am to undertake. I never want my work to come under question. I believe I have a duty to a client to ensure that their money is properly spent and they receive the best product I can do.
The big thing I disagree about with my boss: We must never promise what we cannot deliver.
I believe in trustworthiness in any part of my life. We cannot build a brand or business, by lying to clients. I cannot sleep at night if I do that.
If we disagree on something so fundamental, is this the right place for me to be? Am I being too hard headed and I should relax a bit? Am I too idealistic? These are decent people, so is there something wrong with my way of thinking.
I really wish I knew, and I wish I had the luxury of saying to them I cannot work in a place where I disagree with the basics, and then I shake hands with them and leave. I have nowhere to leave too. I have only managed to get one tiny job, which I did via the office, so I did not make any money on it. All the fees where paid to the office. I did not feel right about doing private work.
I hate uncertainty. I really want to run screaming. I am so tired of working for other people.
With all that, my life is still great and I am happy and loved.