Big school

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I have been looking at schools…next year Honeybear will be old enough to go to Grade 000 at a big school. I went to the website of the school we have as number one to make an appointment for a school tour. I did not make an appointment. I am not sure HB is ready yet for big school. At the nursery school they all know him and love him and understand his whims and what he needs. I am not sure if he will become swallowed up into a school system. The only reason we want to get him into big school as soon as we can, is so that come Grade 1, we will not have school issues. There is no assessment for the Grade 000 so it should be easier to get him in. The kids from Pre-prep at the same school get first preference into Grade 1 if they pass the assessment.

In my heart of hearts I know HB is not ready. He is a shy and sensitive child and I think it will do more damage to get him into a big school too soon. The nursery school caters up to just before Grade 1 so we still have time.

He still reaches out for me at night to hold his hand, he still clings to my leg if a stranger appears, he calls for Mama if he cannot see me, he is not ready for a school uniform and aftercare yet.

I am not ready for school uniform yet.

It broke my heart the first time I had to drop him off at nursery school and I feel the same about big school. He is not yet three so I have closed that website and I am not making any appointments just yet. I will speak to Hubby and tell him I am not yet ready to do this. I still want my baby to have the chance to be my baby for a little longer.

PS: I think I have decided not to have a second child. Hubby seems to have made his peace with it, and I think I have too. I just do not have it in me for two children right now, and maybe when I am ready, I will be too old.

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25 responses »

  1. This school thing is no joke! Ethan is not yet 3 either (he’s 3 at the beginning of December) and we’ve just made the decision to send him to creche hopefully as of next month. I guess I’m in a slightly different space to you because I feel that he is definitely ready to go and that he’ll thoroughly enjoy it and learn from it, however, at his age, I definitely don’t think he’d be ready for a bigger school. Tough choice though!!!!

    • I do believe that the creche was always a good idea, and for my shy child is is essential to get him out his shell a bit.
      They do enjoy the nursery school and the nursery school is geared towards pampering them still.

  2. Liam only went to any kind of school at 3½ but I was fortunate enough to have IL’s that were able to look after him. Saying that though if I had know how good a school it was I would’ve put him there sooner because it so great and it’s good to let kids play and learn with kids their own age.
    In the same breath though, HB and Liam are two totally different children. Liam is an extrovert, to a degree. He is not clingy, nor has he ever been clingy. He can go off and do things on his own, always has been.
    Listen to your gut. If HB needs some more “protection” then leave him where he is. It doesn’t sound like he is emotionally ready for a bigger school yet. Leave him, let him grow into himself. You will know when he is ready.
    Liam on the other hand is looking forward to going to big school next year. Grade R. They won’t have uniforms yet so it’s not a huge adjustment and he will know 2 other children in the same class.
    Trust yourself.

    • Honeybear has trouble moving from one class to another in the same school! He breaks out into a clinging wail if his teacher is not there and he has to be with someone else. I literally have to peel him of me.
      I do hope we know when he is ready or we do it the right time. i just do not want us to be sitting without a decent school when the time comes.

      • Liam’s school has suggested that the younger kids, who aren’t emotionally ready yet, be tested just to see if they are ready or not. I don’t think it’s a physchologist, I forget the term.

      • I know what you are talking about. HB’s school assess the kids once a year I think. It is a lady who comes in a checks development etc and they stick it into the school report, or talk to you if there is something you need to know.

  3. I was also very very hesitant to put Zoe in Grade 000 at the big school. So I’ve waited until Grade 0. However in hindsight I think it may have been a mistake. Not so much in terms of work but most definitely socially. By the time she joined the group they have already formed bonds with friends and Zoe doesn’t make friends easily. To today it is a big issue and she just can’t form a lasting friendship.

    Keep that in mind in terms of HB’s shyness and him being an only child as well.

    • That is a very good point you make. Honeybear and the one little boy are attached at the hip and do everything together. They have been together since they both started school together.
      Friends…it is something I did not think about. I did think that maybe starting him out earlier in the big school might give him more time to adjust, when the schoolwork is not so advanced.

  4. This school stuff is so hard!
    I was also quite hesitant about big school straight away. So I found a nice small pre-school nearby that does up to Grade R so that we have that option too.

    Munchkin is starting Grade R at big school next year, mostly because I thought it would be good for her to have the year to get use to the big school setting and the new way of doing things and also to make friends in her class. That way in Grade 1 she doesn’t have to deal with a whole bunch of changes all at once and is mostly accustomed to the way things are, has some friends etc.

    Like Helen said … listen to your gut … you know your child best 🙂

    • I think we might leave it for now. I want to see how he handles moving to the senior phase at school.
      I really feel he is not ready yet, but I am an over anxious mother.

  5. Im with the rest – you know your child best. I actually didnt know you got Gr 00! Im keeping Jessica in her creche, then Grade R big school in 2yrs! we drive by the schools often in our area, she’s always asking about the playground – when can she go play! Friends are also a good thing to keep in mind. Although poor Jessica has ‘lost’ most of her BFF’s because they moved to other creches… Her latest bestie, has a very rude mom (she hardly greets or anything really) dont know how to arrange a playdate with that attitude!

    • The best way to deal with someone who doesn’t greet is to touch their arm and put on your best smile and say “Hi, how are you today” They’ll soon wonder WTF and perhaps start greeting. You never know, perhaps she’s thinking everyone else is rude. Mind you, with Ebola and all I’m not touching anyone (you know I”m a germaphobe right)

      • LOL – I’ve tried smiling, greeting, etc. Some days she might smile back and just say hi, like almost forcibly… She can mos see for herself the kids are friendly with each other, Jessica talks about her child all the time!
        Im not the touchy type… haha, I just smile… ALOT! 🙂
        Im glad we dont have a office in the Airport Terminal any more – far enough, if someone sick does happen to fall thru the cracks and arrive here!

      • Maybe I should just cut to the chase and ask her if they want to do a playdate… Of course the one mom I get along with and chat etc, Jessica and her girl, dont really play together!

      • I think at this age none of the kids play with each other. I do not think the social skills are at that level yet. However, I did notice that Honeybear likes having the other kids there and does get excited about visits.

    • You get 000, 00 and 0 they also call it RRR,RR and R. RRR starts the year the child is 4. In the one school it was the year they turn three, they basically have to be potty trained.
      HB does not make friends easy from what I can see…the other kids seem to like him because they are always hugging and holding, but I only ever see him play with the one little boy.
      Just ask about a playdate (I hate playdates!) I get told I seem aloof, but it is not true. I am shy and because I do not say anything people assume I must be snotty.
      Maybe leave a note for her. Writing seems to work better sometimes.

      • Im sooo not in feeling/tune with the next steps in education. But still think I’ll only let her move on for Grade R. She loves her school! I remember last year one of the Mom’s proudly announcing, her kids is going to pre prep primary (or something like that), but I see they are still there – her child kinda stayed ‘behind’ in the potty training class… Think that be a big thing to move to the big school, fully potty trained. I like the extra care the little ones get now. There’s lots of time for big school (a whole 13yrs!)
        Jessica plays with everyone- she’s started to single out some of them, often talking about them and wanting them to come home to play. The other kids dont seem bothered much – but you do see little ‘clicks’.
        Maybe I should try the note thing… 🙂

  6. Most days I wish I could make time stand still and just leave them this little and this sheltered and protected in our current school which I absolutely LOVE!

    • That is it…I love the school he is in right now. I was 7 months pregnant when we booked a place there and we have loved it the whole time. I can go in and say I am unhappy about something or send an email and I know someone is going to care. They care about my baby and that is what is so important to me.

  7. I’m also not ready in a lot of ways not just school but in the end they will grow up I guess. I hope you figure things out. I have also started looking at schools.

    • The growing up is not easy on parents. Hubby suggested maybe we just do the school tour anyway and get a feel for the place before writing them off.
      I spoke to the current teacher and she suggests a move to a single language school might be a good idea for HB, but she says we should give him another year. She feels he needs another year of nursery school still because he is so reserved and cautious.

  8. I totally understand your feelings about not being ready for school uniform – either HB or you! Ditto ditto ditto. I’m glad you closed the website for now, still time!
    xx

  9. Schools seem to be an issue everywhere,we have friends who have to move just so they can get their kiddie into the school they want.
    Hope your decision to settle for one is right for you all,difficult to come to terms with it.

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