Work has been so extremely crazy. I have been stressed and nuts and having a birthday, while trying to organise Honeybear’s birthday…I think I was ready to drop. Today, for the first time I cried at work. They sent me a long email implying non-performance and I was flabbergasted, after all the time I have put in. So I wrote back and then I asked for a meeting and we had a long long long meeting. Which was so good. We spoke about everything and we have cleared up misunderstandings. Long story short: they have said it was them that explained things wrong and they are happy with me, and we agreed on a review in 3 months time. The good thing: they see the workload has become too much and we will fix that. So good things have come from it all.
I was also asked to not to anymore work at home, and to just take time to play with my baby.
This evening Honeybear and I are going to have some fun and when he goes to sleep, I have to start on the Spidey capes. I can finally have some time to work on this stuff.
Honeybear and I are also getting along a little better, with me not trying to work and take care of him. Hubby suggested we get in an afternoon Nanny to help out every afternoon and on Saturdays. This way I can work when I have to, and the nanny is there, and when I am not working, the nanny can help out with the dishes or laundry.
I feel like I am inadequate, requiring a nanny while I am home. However, I realise I need the help. I really do, because I am falling apart trying to do it all myself. Hubby works such long hours, he cannot help like I need him too. If I can worry less about the housework, I can spend more time with my baby.
The big thing is, is where do I find someone who is willing to work these odd hours? Also, am I up to nanny interviews again? We tried it when we were pregnant, and after three, I gave up and booked a spot at the day care. Will I survive having a strange woman in my space? I have no patience with hovering people. I also do not want to deal with a person wanting things from me. I just want someone who understands she is an employee and that is that. She must not be offended by me.
I am daunted by trying this out, and I suspect I may give up before I even start this whole process. The agencies are not much better, and I have sent emails anyway.
I wish I could wave a wand and just get everything done.