Sugar and spice or irritating in laws

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My poor Hubby is unhappy. When I suggested he gives up sugar as part of the LCHF way of eating, he said No. There was no way he was going to stop drinking sugar. I left it at that. Yesterday morning he was at the dentist who said to him he needs to cut down his sugar intake, completely if possible. His teeth are very bad. The poor man. I am a believer in the real thing or nothing at all, hence I do not drink sugar at all.

However, I am not sure he will survive very well without anything sweet. I think I will have to go buy some kind of sugar substitute for the poor man.

I think this is a good thing because he is more likely to stick with this sugar thing, if his teeth are falling away. I really hope Honeybear has inherited my crooked teeth instead of his father’s weak teeth, because my crooked teeth are still in fairly decent condition. Hubby’s family all have really bad teeth. They just fall out and break and just look bad. At least Hubby’s is not at this stage yet. He has had one root canal and has one fake tooth in (a crown I think they call it). I have all my original teeth still and I hope they stay that way.

Honeybear only popped his first tooth at 13 months. I had even made an appointment at the dentist to see where his teeth were. The dentist assured me it was normal but he would look to make me feel better, and that afternoon I saw the first tooth. I am hoping this lives up to the old wives tale of later = stronger.

 

MIL rant ahead, you can stop reading now….

 

It was MIL birthday yesterday. We called to say Happy Birthday and I wished I had not spoken to her. I do not know why I always let her upset me so much. I always bribe Honeybear to speak to her and to say I love you to her. He is not yet three, and while I know there are many three year olds out there speaking fluent English and Afrikaans, Honeybear is not one of those children. He is a shy child and he will not even chatter to his father. He and I will chatter and I understand him. I am his mother, so I understand him. My MIL thinks something must be wrong with Honeybear because he does not speak clearly enough for her to understand. Also, Honeybear cannot count to ten unassisted and they had a 2 year old at their house who could count to ten. So what!? All children are different. Even if there is something wrong with my child, he is still my child. I will love him and care for him, even if he never learns to count. I wish she would keep her doom prophet tendencies to herself. I also do not believe a word when she says she misses Honeybear. How can you miss some child you do not know? She met him once when he as one year old and has made no attempt to ever see him ever again. She never picks up the phone to call to talk to him.

We all live in the same country and it is not impossible to visit. I refuse to visit a place that does not have enough anything, including water. The last time we went there I was 3 months pregnant. We had to buy a whole bunch of groceries because they do not have enough money to host us. Even with everything we bought, I felt like I was starving and no one could have a decent shower because there is not enough water. The roads are not tarred, the cell reception sucks. Hubby does not want to go there either, and I do not encourage any visits so we do not go. The last time we paid for them to come visit us in Pretoria and it was 3 weeks of hell for me, with her re-arranging my cupboards, complaining about the food, and how I raise the child they have shown no interest in. I made her cry because I refused to leave my one year old alone with someone who does not respect my way of parenting.

So we have decided that we need to pay for them to come visit again, because they never have money to visit us. If we do not make an effort , they will never see us, ever. The last time FIL was in Gauteng, he was here for three days, staying with his brother, before we even found out he had come out this way. And we only found out because he needed us to go sort something out for him.

So we will have them in our house for two weeks, because I want Honeybear to know all his family, whether or not Hubby likes it. Hubby will have to grow up and entertain his parent, because there is no way I am taking two weeks off work to entertain them. I will go crazy 24/7 with them. I will take one week off and then they are on their own with Hubby.

They make me so mad!

It is very obvious I have a huge gripe with them because they do not love my child like I think they should. I will not forgive them for never visiting him, especially when he was a newborn, when everyone else visited and oohed and aahed over his wrinkled face. When I had to make embarrassed excuses of why one set of grandparents were missing, when I knew how much it hurt my husband that his parents could not be bothered to come visit and see his first child.

They are not bad people, my in-laws, but they are not the kind of people I can forgive just yet…even if I am the only one bothered by it, I am not ready to let it go yet. If you read this far, thank you and I will try to keep the rant shorter next time.

I think I feel better.

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17 responses »

  1. Goodness, where do they live? You know what. Yout precious child dorsn’t need the negative influence to break him down, it’s bettet to surround him with family that loves and accept him for what he is. Goid luck, you are a better person than me, I can’t have mil in my house for 2 days.

    • They live in a tiny dorpie out in the Eastern Cape. It is still a drought region hence the water issues.
      My family is so close knit, even though they are in Durban. I just cannot imagine a life not surrounded by family.

  2. I agree with runnermum. You do not need negative people ub youebor your childs life. They are not just breaking you down, but also your son. If they do not make the effort to cherish their grandson, its their problem.

    • it did not occur to me, and it is a good point: Negativity is not a good thing…I need to make more of an effort to ensure I am not letting my negativity get to my family.

  3. I must give up sugar too (and all other other bad things). Especially now with winter I find Im drinking more and more coffee – each with 2 spoons sugar! I hate dentists… dread checkups!

    You are brave inviting them over for a whole 2 wks – one week would be plenty! I love my IL’s but they are like my GrandParents age (80 & 78) – they’re not so interfering, and Jessica is the 13 or 14th grandchild, the novalty has worn off! LOL But even at their age they still play with her and only has praise. At some point you will have to bury the hatchet, as Babybear will grow up not liking them either! 😉

    • You are right, at some point and I must let it go and move on…now is not that time though, I still have to work through my anger.
      You know, sugar is not that difficult to stop. You get used to it very soon.

  4. Hmm… rough times! Sorry about it all, but to cheer you up, You have an award! Check it out here -http://wp.me/pAcE1-16s

  5. Aww Shame, I feel for your hubby… My hubby and I felt the same last year May when we started eating Paleo and had to give up sugar… But now a year later and still don’t drink sugar in our coffee or tea. Made such a difference. It only took 3 days to tolerate coffee without sugar and milk!

    I also have a MIL who does not respect my parenting style and criticizes and will also never leave my children with her alone. So you have my sympathy fully… Big hugs.

  6. So glad I inherited my Dad’s strong teeth. Not in bad shape at all, other than a bit of sensitivity.
    Pffft, MIL’s. HB will develop at his own speed. I don’t know if you do it, but even know, Liam and I count and colour EVERYTHING. If we’re eating chips I ask him to count them.
    It’s almost like we feel guilty about our family that show no interest in us. DH has an older sister who we haven’t seen for over a year (at Liam’s party) and she only lives 10 minutes away. I insist on seeing my family and they love having us over, but I have to dragged DH to his parents.
    Good luck with the visit when they come. Remember to pop in to have a vent

  7. Ai, family! My in laws are fantastic – I have issues with my own mom though. And really, if a child of 2 or 3 counts to 10 it’s just a rhyme they know – there is no understanding about it and therefore really serve no purpose

  8. 2 weeks … wow! Good luck MC! I don’t know why some people feel the need to criticize all the time. HB is still little … there is nothing wrong with him …
    Sterkte MC …

    I don’t know if I could give up sugar either. I have a very sweet tooth and would rather give up coffee and tea than drink it without sugar. So I really feel for your hubby ….

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