Spigman, am I unreasonable


I am finally back at work again.

Friday: the mini-conference was amazing. The speakers were so inspiring and spoke so well. You go to these things and expect some speakers to put you to sleep…however, I can say, I enjoyed every speaker. The only bad point was the horrible venue. It was a freezing cold  concrete lecture hall with the most uncomfortable seats ever…and we had to sit there until 4pm. The food was served badly and there did not seem to be enough lunch for everyone. I had an old man sitting behind me all day, and he coughed on my head all day. His coughing and the subzero temperatures resulted in a horrible cold. That bone aching type. So there went the 3 day weekend. Good thing we had the Father’s Day gifts ready in advance, because I was in no condition to get anything done. I dragged myself into the kitchen to make dinner on Sunday and then I had to leave Hubby to his own devices.

Hubby was at work on Monday and I was feeling horrible. However, when you have a child, there is no sick days. You have to suck it up and drag yourself through the day. Honeybear had a TV day. I felt like a bad mother, but I really could not do anything with him.

I took the day off yesterday so I could finally have some time to sleep and make myself feel better. I dropped Honeybear off at school, called work and fell asleep. I do feel better. I still cannot talk and have a stuffy nose, but at least I feel better. It is amazing what rest can do for you.

Honeybear has a thing for “spigman”…which translates to “spiderman”. I am guessing he must have seen it at school, because we have never shown him anything with Spiderman. I had to buy three t-shirts with Spiderman so he has one for everyday (the only way I can get him dressed without a fight in the morning). He now also owns a Spiderman lunchbox and juice bottle. I figured why must I say no, the child was asking for something so small, is it really worth denying him out of principle?

So there goes the crayon birthday party out the window, Lol. I guess we will be doing Spiderman. Spiderman is way easier because we can just rent the pan and ice the cake according to the instructions. Way easier than the crayons (which I have fully worked out and I was ready to test bake). I think I will still include the colouring sheets and crayons I wanted, but maybe they will be Spiderman colouring sheets.

My baby has a mind of his own, and I need to let him exercise his preferences.

I had threw a hissy fit last night. Hubby just assumes because I am up and about then I am well enough to do everything still. I wish he was home more, because I just need a break! I have to cook dinner, clean up after dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, pack Honeybear’s things and make sure that I am keeping up with the school activities so that Honeybear does not miss something because I forgot to pay or I forgot the tissues or whatever. I make all our appointments and on Saturday I was livid. I fell asleep because I was sick and lying next to Honeybear, trying to get him to take his daytime nap. Hubby sat in front of the TV and forgot to wake us up for our eye appointment. Guess who had to miss the appointment and give mine up for Hubby. I was so angry. His excuse is he cannot look at the clock all afternoon. Really? Must I do everything myself. This is how it feels sometimes. I know I am exaggerating, but sometimes I want someone to take care of everything. Someone else must do all the admin and keep track of everything. I just want to lie quietly in the sun without any worries. Yeah right! I am such a control freak. I think Hubby lets thing slide because he has gotten used to me being there to do it, and I have made myself take that position, so it is partly my fault too. I have to talk to myself and tell myself to let it go and to be calm and not get angry but sometimes I just want him to understand.

Hubby has a thing for gifts. He brings me gifts. Which I guess is sweet. He gets so excited and he thinks I am going to love it. I do not love his gifts. They are just downright weird! Fondue set? For me? I have no idea what to do with it. Rose bush…which is OK but I made it clear I do not want any more plants because they are dying and I have no time for them right now. Heater? When I made it clear I do not use heaters and I think they waste electricity. He also brings home loads of chocolate. Which I am not eating. It just lies there and I eventually give it to the kids who live in the complex. Cream cheese? Which is fine I guess, but it is just a weird gift. Sometimes I just do not know what to say to him and I just pretend I love it. Light bulbs. Yes light bulbs.

I have tried to gently explain that at this stage in my life the best gift is time. I just want time to myself. I want him to remember things and do them. I want him to know I feel horrible (especially since I told him so)…and maybe to come home a little early to take over. I want him to do the dishes the days he is home early. I want to sleep late…which means he tiptoes out the bedroom with Honeybear and closes the door and leaves me.  Not keep telling me he is going to let me sleep and he is taking Honeybear, by which time I am wide awake. I want him to remember my birthday is in August and not May. (yes he is not living that one down)

He is not a bad husband. He is him and I love him and I guess if he changed, he would not be the man I love (weird gifts and forgetfulness)


8 responses »

  1. Ugh at the old man coughing on your head. I was standing behind a lady in the Post office the other day who was doing that special snorting sniff thing, you know the one.
    Liam knows who all the superheros are even though he’s never seen them on the TV.
    Oh reading the paragraph about your hubby rings loudly in my ears. I also wish that someone would do these little things that seem to do themselves. Instead all I hear is “Liams teeth aren’t brushed properly, his hair is untidy, we’re going to be late” Meanwhile he’s only had himself to get ready in the morning. I’ve got myself, Liam, then tidying up after the both of them. *sigh*
    Ahem at lightbulbs as a gift. Perhaps he’s hinting that you change a bulb?
    Darn, I missed your birthday, in May, LOL, shame man. DH once said I was 36 when I was actually 34. Shocking.

    • I am not uber concerned about germs but when it is directly on me, I do get upset. I am a very hands on type of chick and I do change bulbs and hang up pictures and build cupboards. I think men are definitely from somewhere else because I sometimes think they are living in an alternative reality. I try to remember he does not do it to offend me, he genuinely thinks he is being sweet or helpful and he has no short or long term memory to speak of so I must just understand.
      I am too afraid to ask Hubby how old he thinks I am! 🙂

    • I think you are right, he is spoiled by me. I do go away for a week or two once a year, with Honeybear….but that is December and I have planned ahead. I can see how I have created this.

  2. I hate people coughing on me! Also freaks me out a little when people cough into their hands and later on want to shake your hand … with that same hand!!!! UGH!
    It’s the same with my girls … they know Spiderman even though they have never seen him on TV or anything … they must pick it up at school …
    You definitely spoil your hubby … maybe you should go away for a few days without HB and see how hubby manages the house and a toddler?? Maybe he will learn a new appreciation for all the things you do 😉 I know this isn’t really possible with your hubby’s long hours and shifts and things … but it would definitely make him appreciate all the stuff you just take care of and that he doesn’t even have to think about 🙂

    • I try to teach Honeybear to cough into his shoulder. I think they learn that at school too. I am to afraid to test hubby, maybe our house would be repossessed.

  3. Oh boy, sorry about the horrible cold. Hope you are doing okay now?
    So cute about “Spigman”. Mine also learned all about Spider-Man, Superman and Ben 10 at school… I thought he wasn’t big enough for then yet as they are down right scary sometimes! Spider-Man will make a cool birthday party, there are so many things in the party shops.
    Oh I had to laugh at cream cheese!

  4. Ah cute little boys do love spider man! Jessica too – so she had a Spiderman shirt and PJ’s. I wasnt going to argue to her about that, saying its just for boys – nope, girls can like Spidey too! 🙂
    Cant let the little ones watch it though – they will have nightmares for weeks!!

    LOL at least hubby brings you gifts (strange ones – llightbulbs & creamcheese LOL) but gifts non the less. I dont get gifts just for sommer. I have to tantrum (same as your reason, you feel like you do everything for everyone) then I might get something. Or hubby thinks he’s romantic and buys me chocolates. Im not a chocoholic… and then he eats it anyway! *sigh*

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