The weekend financials

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This weekend we finished up our Father’s Day gifts…I just need to go get the DVD. Honeybear was a little barbarian in the mall, so by the time I reached the DVD store, I was out of patience and after a few minutes I walked out because I could not take it anymore and still maintain my sanity.

The sand plaster cast of his foot turned out so well. I was surprised at how quick and easy it was and it looks so sweet. I have had to hide it away from Honeybear who wants to touch and play with it and ooh and aah over his foot cast. Good thing his father does not really understand him, so he does not know when Honeybear is talking about his Father’s Day gift.   We also did some seashells and I have so much Plaster of Paris left over, I am thinking of doing some other stuff with Honeybear. I was surprised at how cheap the Plaster of Paris was.   It dries so quick and it gives such a nice product. I am thinking some things for his room.

We did a play date and the less said the better…I get so tired sometimes. Honeybear loved it, and it did have some highlights for me too…but I was tired! I hate hosting these things.

The cold has been making me unhappy, I feel so uncomfortable when it is cold like this. I want to hibernate. It was also lonely with Hubby working all weekend (even though we hosted guests on Saturday and Sunday)…sometimes I think they must think I lie about having a husband, because they so rarely see him. I am pretty sure Hubby wanted to stay home too, but we all have to do what we agreed to do.

I met a friend who was complaining about their financial situation. I was taken aback. When we had a rough time financially, for reasons unknown, it was not something I ever talked about to friends or family. We just did what we had to do and were lucky enough to get through it all.

She seemed happy enough to share, and I really did not offer any advice. I think because she was sharing and because I just thought to myself, there are so many ways to make it work. Everyone has non-negotiables in their lives, and I understand how difficult it is to let these go sometimes. I think she is not there yet. Some of us, me included, shop at PnP and Checkers and we are fine without all the Woolies things. Of course it would be nice to have all those nice convenience foods, but we know we cannot afford that stuff long term, so we shop in the lower priced stores. I also buy many of Honeybear’s things at Pep. Unless Woolies is having a sale, I do not buy anything there for Honeybear. He grows out of things so quickly and he damages clothes at school. He hardly wears shoes, so for us, Pep is where I get his things. My financially constrained friend turns her nose up at Pep. I can understand it, but if things were that bad, maybe you need to re-assess the things you need to live comfortably.

We do not live a hugely extravagant life, and saving money and living without credit cards is important to us. I know it is not always possible (we were there, and credit cards can get you into a deep hole). However, if you really need to get things right financially, starting sooner is better than starting later when you have a deep hole to climb out of.

As runnermom pointed out once, you cannot live too frugally, you end up feeling miserable and deprived. Maybe you need to have a goal to save for. Like we want to buy another house, while still keeping the one we currently live in. This gives us a saving goal. Also, there are things we want for Honeybear and other goals we have set ourselves, not all financially related, but I think it gives you something to look forward too.

I was feeling a little bad, maybe she was looking for advice. However, I know she judges the choices I make as a mother, I really did not feel comfortable offering any financial advice. I am a bad friend, I think.

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10 responses »

  1. No – I think a good friend knows when not to say anything. I shop a lot for the kids at PEP. Unfortunately my fastest grower (the 9 year old girlchild) is at an age where PEP has very little to offer – and what they have is scary in terms of sexual hints, black stuff etc.

    • I think PEP works for the very young kids. They wear the clothes for such a short time, that you can get away with the quality. I also find they stock things you cannot find easily in other stores.
      I was disappointed not having a girl when we were first pregnant, but some things are easier with boys: like the clothes.

  2. You are definitely not a bad friend… Money is such a sensitive subject, I won’t feel comfortable discussing financial trouble even with my closest friend. But I agree with you about changing your priorities to suit your financial situation… Like my mom says “can’t complain with a white bread under the arm” hehe the Afrikaans version of this sounds better.
    Father’s Day pressure sounds fab! I need to get my a into g with that too!

  3. No you are not a bad friend. On certain things it is very difficult to give advise, money, kids and relationships.

    I hear you on buying at the lower end shops, all Zoe’s clothes came from Ackermans but now she is too big for the kuddies range, what a pity.

  4. I am not store specific.. I go where there’s sales and specials! As for myself, I shop mainly at Mr Price, Ackermans, PnP Clothing store… love Woolies undies though.

  5. I don’t think you’re a bad friend at all … money issues can be quite delicate.

    I agree about kids growing out of things so fast … silly to buy expensive clothes unless you really have the money to spare. I even take second hand clothes from friends if they offer it …

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