Smack or not?


I read an interesting article about the smack or not to smack debate.  I know most people tend to feel strongly one way or the other.  I am a believer in not smacking.  Yes, I was smacked as a child, and I do not think it harmed me in any way, I do not love my parents any less. I just believe in going with my instinct as a mother.  It does not feel right to me to smack my child.  The same way I felt the need to breastfeed and to allow my child to sleep in our bed.  The same way I felt it was not wrong to carry my baby and to rock him to sleep and to allow him to have a dummy.

It is about personal choices.  If it works for your family and everyone is healthy and happy, what does it matter what anyone else has to say.

For me smacking is a huge no-no.  What do you do when smacking does not work, what does it escalate to?  Yes I do shout and I hate that I do it.  It feels so wrong when I shout at my child.

Yes Honeybear has tantrums, but so do children who are smacked.  I deal with it by allowing Honeybear to have a fit if that is the way he needs to get through his frustration at this age.  It cannot go on and on and depends what it is about.  If I feel angry, I send him to his room so we are both out of the tense situation.

Usually he just needs attention.  Yesterday we had a chocolate tantrum, but which child has never had one of those.  It is understandable.  I feel that as the parent, I am the one that needs to exercise control, and hopefully in that way, I can teach my child an appropriate vent for his frustrations.   Me hitting Honeybear is more likely out of my own frustration.

It is interesting that people tend to feel so strongly about these issues.

In other news, we finally bought a new car (out of desperation).  However, my old trusty blue is still what I prefer to drive.  Hubby is loving a new car.

Honeybear surprises me everyday with the things he knows.  He has been sleeping with us since the hailstorm.  His room has broken windows, I think we are at the bottom of the waiting list for replacement glass.  He loves the dummy still and since he has been sick, the potty training took a few steps back.  However, we are getting back on track slowly, keeping the approach of gentle introduction.

I have been very tired these last few weeks, dealing with all the issues we have and a sick child, but 2 weeks left…..then I can spend a week with my parents.  I cannot wait to get there.


3 responses »

  1. Nice to hear from you again, and thanks for commenting on my blog 🙂
    As you say, what works for you and we are each entitled to our own opinion. I don’t really have a strong opinion about it. Yes, we too were spanked as children and I don’t think I’m any worse for it. I try not to smack Liam. DH says I talk and talk and talk without any results. But I do sometimes give him a stinger when he’s really playing up. I can see how a parent not in control of their emotions can do some real damage during a spanking. When I get so mad I rather leave the room completely to calm down first, before coming back to talk (again)
    I read about the horrible hail storms, sjoe, hectic. Poor Honeybear, I hope he wasnt’ too frightened.
    Yay on the new car 🙂
    Nearly time for a rest, just another few days then we’re off. Liam keeps asking, “how long before there is no schoo” and he loves school, but I think he loves his parents more 😉
    Hugs MC, keep well

  2. We smack Spruit and Chip, though not for tantrums, that gets them a time-out, like you say they just need to get out of the situation. I try to keep smacking for disobedience that can be dangerous. Like running over the road instead of holding my hand and walking together even though they know they should or sticking little fingers in plugs. We do not smack in public and at the moment it is 3 smacks with our hand on the bum. The danger is that sometimes smacks are given out of frustration, so we try to monitor each other and to not smack when angry or frustrated. But I feel the same as you, this is a private decision that was made by Skattebol and me after reading up and discussing. It is not my business how anyone else does their disciplining.
    I’m wishing for a new car, but I will have to wait a couple of years. No doubt when I have to give up the current skadonk I will be bawling my eyes out. 😉

  3. I’m so glad that Zoe is now at the age where I can sit her down and explain things to her. I just find that to give her reasons and explain consequences are so much better that shouting and smacking.

    Believe me, Zoe had about 3 hidings from me in her lifetime and it was when I was at my complete wits end. And the shouting also happens every now and again. But I always try and explain afterwards why I shouted.

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