I looked at Honeybear sitting on his little scooter and I wanted to cry. He is growing so quickly and I am afraid everything is going too fast. That tiny 3.1kg baby I held in my arms 18months ago is a little person, with a personality. He has his own character and he knows what he wants and will let you know.
A friend said when you feel like that; it is time to have another baby. I don’t think so. I still have no desire to share my time with anyone else. I know hubby would like another child, but I am not ready for another child yet.
I made Honeybear the cutest little crocheted boots. I think they are gorgeous. Little boots, which are also anti-slip and warm. So when he is running around the house, his little feet are warm. Honeybear loves shoes. He is always trying to stick his feet into shoes, and he loves the little boots I made.
I am happy with myself for making them. I am self-taught and my crochet skills leave a lot to be desired. Gauge means nothing to me. I have crocheted blankets previously, and scarves, never anything like a jersey or boots. One of the big reasons Honeybear does not have shoes is because I think his feet will develop better bare and also, it is so difficult to find suitable toddler shoes. Most are so hard and heavy and the ones that I think would work, are horribly expensive.
We are back to discussing visiting with Hubby’s parent’s. They have seen Honeybear exactly once (when we made them come visit). And I know they will not come again until we pay for it and force them to visit again. I am tired of hearing how they do not have any money and life is so difficult. You know what, we do not have unlimited amounts of money either.
I am so upset about having to pay again. Our finances suck and it is taking so much effort to make sure everything works fine and I made a plan to make sure we have extra money in the last two months of the year. For two reason:
So I can go see my parents in December. Just Honeybear and myself. It has always been my thing ever since I moved here and now I have added Honeybear. Hubby always works through December. And the second reason is so we have spare cash for a nice Christmas. It took sacrifice and effort to do this and now the extra money is going to get sucked up into a week-long trial for all of us. Hubby himself does not like the visits. But we have to.
I know I am complaining a lot here, and I am grateful for everything we have, but I still want to complain anyway, to get it off my chest, and especially so I do not say any of this to Hubby.
Hubby is driving me slightly insane. In fact everything has the power to irritate me these days. Work is so crazy and the stress of the finances is my over-riding worry. I know we are not destitute, but we are not as care-free as we used to be. We have to really pay attention to what we are doing and make sacrifices.
The thing keeping me together is my current craft project. It is a blanket for Honeybear (a single bed size one). I have only crocheted a blanket this size once. (As a Christmas present for Hubby’s parents).
This one is going to be what I call a hybrid. It is part fabric, part crochet and part quilt. I really hope it turns out well. So far the squares are looking good. It has a fabric centre and I am proud of myself for working out the crochet pattern myself. I am no pattern writer, so this is a huge achievement for me. I just hope I finish this before the really cold weather begins.
Honeybear is sleeping well most nights and as much as I miss that warm little body next to me, it is good to have our bed back to ourselves. So once I have organised his blanket he shall be ready for winter.
We have already started dressing him in a baby-gro with feet because his room is so cold. It is still a little warm for the sleeping sack. I love those things.
Honeybear is starting to speak more. It is not completely well pronounced, but we understand what he is trying to say. It is amazing how he understands everything we say to him.
He still throws major tantrums when he does not get his way, but by now we are used to it and I just deal with it as and when it happens. We try our best to head them off, but that is not always possible.
Hope everyone is well.