Sleeping through the night aka STTN


I have been reading a lot about sleep training and generally how to get your child to sleep through the night.  Hubby and I were talking about it again last night and what we should do. 
We came to the conclusion that we can do one of two things:
1.       Force Honeybear to sleep by letting him cry and not giving in.
2.       Live through his night wakings and let him sleep through when he is ready.
What did we choose? Option number 2.
It just does not feel right to let Honeybear cry and cry and make him sleep that way.  We have tried it and you feel your heart ripping out.  It feels so wrong.
I have yet to come across a sleep training method that does not involve crying or denying your child the thing that he wants. I know you are now thinking I am raising a spoilt brat.  Maybe I am.
Let us think about this for a moment.  The little one is only one year old. He cannot understand on the same level as an adult.  They do not have the ability to reason in the same way.  He just wants a drink of milk about 2-3 times a night and sometimes he just wants a cuddle and to feel his parents his close.
Ask yourself if this is manipulation? Is this one year old actually thinking this through and deciding this? Is it really that bad to give some milk? Is it really bad to give a cuddle? I love feeling that tiny little body cuddled against mine.  It makes me teary when I feel the little hand reaching out to feel if Mama is still there. 
Hubby can stand the crying even less than I do.  He will walk the dark house rocking if that is what it takes. 
I know we have many long nights ahead.  We understand this, but crying babies is not the way to go.  If we ever figure out a gentle method that a child loves and eases into, I shall shout it from the roof tops, or get very rich selling it J.
We continue to believe that sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone and our child has not reached it yet.


5 responses »

  1. Kids will let you know when they are ready. Don’t push them or go according to what others or the books say. No two kids are the same

  2. Shame man, makes me wonder again why babies should be different and why some of us seem to struggle more than others to get a good nights sleep. Never did the sleep training thing. Never had to. Liam has slept through from night till morning since he was 4 months old. And when he does wake I just change his nappy, stick him in bed with Dad and go off to the spare room.
    Good luck with whatever you choose to do. BTW, I’m with you on not letting a little one cry

  3. Hi. I get what you’re saying. If LM had not been sleeping through on her own, I wouldn’t force it, (especially since she’s only 5 months). Raymond got to 16 months, and never slept through. Good luck, I’m sure Honeybear will get around to letting you sleep. 🙂

  4. Each family needs to do what is right for them and if this suits you guys then go ahead! I also can’t stand the crying….

  5. Hi, I am probably commenting at the tail end of things, but i do agree. A crying child is not the way to go, and as they say, each child is different. I would rather my child trust me completely, knowing that i will cater to their needs, whatever they may be, however they communicate them during the growing phase they may be. Then allowing them to “self -soothe” (i.e. cry themselves to sleep and learn that they cannot count on mommy)

    Good luck with the sleeping, i have a feeling i may not be as lucky as i was the second time around.

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