Mama or career chaser?

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I work in a corporate environment.  Like most offices, we have one in which hard work pays off and one gets salary increases and promotions.  I have never thought I was a career chaser, but I do know that I will not just work for someone else forever.  There will be a time when I am part of the group that is more involved in the running of the office and a decision maker.  I have my ambitions.  Having a child has not changed that in the least.  I do believe I can do both successfully. 

I do have loads of Mummy guilt every so often (like All Moms, working outside home or not)

Our office just received the go ahead on a large project.  Big project means more money, hence more time to be put in….and that means overtime hours. 

I have always worked large amounts of overtime (we do not get remunerated for overtime because it is not always easy to judge it in this field).  Since Honeybear arrived, I do not work overtime hours anymore.  I cannot.  I have to go get my child at a specific time and my child needs me and I need him.  Work comes second. I don’t feel that I am any less dedicated to my work than I used to be, I just have other interests now.  I have a child and I know I must leave every day at a  certain time, so I guess I work more efficiently.  I still get everything done.  As far as I am concerned, that should be enough.

I can’t help but wonder if I am viewed as being less dedicated.  That I will now no longer be viewed as someone who can move up.  No longer an asset because I have a child that I will drop everything for.

I think that being a mother has made me a better worker.  I work more efficiently.  I can multi-task better because I have to do it at home anyway.  I am dedicated.  I am loyal, I have strengths that other people that have never had kids may not have.  After 12 hours of labour without drugs I think that I know how to dig deep and give my everything.  I have a child so I won’t just walk away from my work.

I can still manage to produce enough milk for my child which just points to the fact that I know how to relax in the middle of a busy day and put my mind onto something that needs doing (I found that I cannot let down milk if I am stressed so I have had to learn to just get over it).

No one has said anything, but I know I am not a key player for the upcoming big project….and I happy with that.  I can continue to be the big fish on the smaller ones.  I still wonder though if they see me as a liability.

Ok I know that is not true because I have been told that they are happy with the work in the past few months.  Ugh.   Does one ever relax and stop wondering about the impression that is being created?

I still have my ambitions and I know I will achieve them.

Which brings me to the reason I am very happy with having only one child…….but that is a different post.

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One response »

  1. When you become a mother your priorities change drastically, and I’ve often wondered the same thing that you do… if I’m viewed as less dedicated, less focused. But honestly, I can’t dedicate energy and stress into this issue, because unnecessary stress causes a whole lot of other issues for me. I do my work, I do it diligently and quickly when it’s given and I know my slate is clean. And my child gets first priority, finish and klaar. Any person who doesn’t understand it and tries to undermine me will get what’s due to him or her some time or another and that’s their problem then. I leave here at 4:00 every afternoon to be on time for Caleb and there are no exceptions, anyone who wants me to do anything extra will get blown off and I honestly couldn’t care less if it offends them. They know what my time constraints are.

    Good on you for being who you are as mother and employee 🙂 I’m sure that they’ll include you in the project and I really hope that they’ll be chilled on the overtime front.

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