Rough night


I feel like something the cat dragged in this morning.  Honeybear would not settle.  We put him to sleep as usual and it was fine.  I went to bed and then he woke for milk two hours after putting him to bed.  I fed him.  He screamed about 10 minutes later.  Hubby brought him to our bed and he screamed and screamed and screamed.  I fed him again and we fell asleep.  1.5 hours later he is crying again.  I fed him.  1.5 hours later he is up again.  So we tried all sorts of everything, with him screaming the whole time.  So I fed him again after 45 minutes and I could not take it.  And he decides he wants to play.  On my head on me, any part of me.  So I gave up and took him back to his room and got into bed with him.  He screamed more and then I fed him and he eventually fell asleep.  I slept for about 45 minutes and it was time to dress for work. 

He woke promptly 2 hours later for a feed before work. 

Does a 10 month old baby really need to drink this much milk?

 Sunday menu for him:

07h00: Milk

07h30: Cereal


Nap time

11h00:Rice and veggies


Nap time


15h00:Rice cake snack


Nap Time

17h00: Milk

18h00: 2 Pumpkin fritters


And then it was milk whenever he wanted. 

 My back is sore from sleeping twisted next to him that I cannot even bend to pick something up.  He refuses to accept comfort from hubby.  He screams more.  He flings his dummy away and screams.  You give it back, he quietens for a few minutes (less than 5) and then flings it away and screams again.  The longest we have lasted before just giving in is 45 minutes.  I know hubby is feeling worse and worse because it seems he cannot help me with this. Honeybear gets more upset if hubby tries to do anything.

 Must I force feed him more, because perhaps he is not eating enough?  We feed until he does not want to open his mouth or he starts throwing the food around instead of eating it.  I was just reading Tourmaline’s post. Caleb is 9.4 kgs.  Honeybear is just pushing 8kgs and he is 10 months old! Are we not feeding him enough?  I know the clinic sister said he was fine and so did the paediatrician but I still can’t help but wonder if we are doing something wrong. 

 He sleeps in his own room, so we thought perhaps he must sleep in our bed to get him to sleep longer.  It is not working.  The night wakings’ are getting worse, not better.  I don’t believe formula will work because I thought he was eating enough.

 I spend every weekend sitting on the floor with him so he gets sufficient cuddles during the day if that is why he is waking.  I hold him in my arms for at least one of the afternoon naps so he knows mama is there. 

Now he is beginning to cry if I leave the room as well.  I know it will pass, I know that, but last night was hard.  This morning was hard.  I am sitting here in pain, breastfeeding won’t allow me to take anything strong.  I have had 2 cups of decaf coffee and 2 cups of tea, all loaded with sugar and it is not even 08h00 yet.  I am thinking about another cup of tea.

 The other thing that is beginning to worry me is the lack of teeth.  He does not have any teeth yet.  I know they will probably pop out soon.  However, when he is one of two kids in his class without teeth it bothers me.  He is the third oldest in a group of 11.  The only other child without teeth is 5 months old.  The lack of teeth have allowed us to breastfeed comfortably this long, and I have welcomed the absence of teeth.  Is there something I must worry about.  I tell myself they will come because the gums are hard, so they must be under there.  I tell myself it is a sign that I must breastfeed for longer because it is good for him and the lack of teeth make it easy for me.  I am beginning to second guess our decision to breastfeed for a year. 

 Maybe it was the rough night…but this morning I feel totally inadequate as a mother.


14 responses »

  1. It is hard enough without feeling blame. You are not an inadequate mother, not at all, it was just a bad night. It happens, and unfortunately it may happen a few more times still. Do what you can to get through the day and make your mantra, “I am a strong, capable and wonderful mother”.

  2. Aw, man, sorry to hear about your rough night. Perhaps he had another discomfort and wasn’t hungry. I used to rub L’s forehead with my finger, lightly, or rub his tummy in a clockwise motion. It used to settle him. Perhaps Honeybear is beginning to teeth and was in a bit of discomfort. Don’t feel bad about giving him something for the pain, some teejel or Neurofen. Perhaps his PJ’s or bedding was itching him.
    Perhaps the breastmilk isn’t enough for him anymore, perhaps introduce a bottle of formula. Does he eat any other food, or is he exclusively on milk.
    Don’t worry about his weight. Gawd, I wish I could say L was a “lightie” And don’t worry about the teeth. I know it’s hard not to compare, we all do, I do now even, but Honebybear will reach his milestones when HE is ready, not when everyone else wants him too.
    Please let us know how you get on. These are just a few of my thoughts, I’m no expert but we must learn from each other
    Big hugs

    • He does eat three meals and a snack everyday, besides the milk. He only drinks breastmilk and I am trying to introduce water. He gets formula, which I use to mix his cereal. Maybe the formula is the answer. Thanks Helen.

  3. You’re not inadequate, MC. Perhaps your milk isn’t enough to give him what he needs anymore, maybe you can start considering supplementing breastmilk with formula? And maybe try substituting his rice cake with a fruit like banana and yogurt, or steamed apples. Also, start giving him meat. I noticed that when Caleb woke so often it was before he ate meat, and now that he’s started on it, he’s sleeping much better. He still gets his butternut puree or sweet potato puree and cheese, but he also takes a couple of bites of meat, whether its pork, chicken or fish. Just give him tiny bite sizes, and nibble it yourself to soften it a bit before you give it to him. He’ll take to it, you’ll see. If he’s chewing, he’ll accept it. I also tried toast with cheese this weekend, I cut it up into to little squares and he ate it comfortably. As well as scrambled egg. You have to maybe start thinking about expanding your menu for him a bit. I really hope it helps!!

    • I wish it were meat. He has been eating meat for a long while now. I am reluctant to give meat every day because I never ate meat every day (ok, I used to be vegetarian too). I think I shall try to introduce other food. Thanks T.

  4. PS: And Helen might be right too, his teeth might start bothering him and I know just before Caleb cuts a tooth he’s really restless. Invest in something like Neurofen and Prodol if the Teejel doesn’t help, but Neurofen is wonderful. Lots of strongs!!

  5. So sorry you had such a rough night! I’m thinking it could be the teeth coming in, I’ve read it could take up to a year for the first teeth to make an appearance. Also, I think giving him more solids, will help with the sleep. Strongs, hope you have a better night tonight.

  6. HUGS MC!!
    You’re not doing anything wrong … maybe he’s teething now. Don’t worry about him not having any teeth. We use to call Sweetpea Toothless (like the dragon in the kids movie) cos she had no teeth at all til she was almost one year old and by then they had just just broke through her gums … all kids teeth in their own time and it has nothing to do with you or what you’re doing or not doing!!

    Sorry about the wakings … sounds like it could be teething … maybe check his gums. I wouldn’t force feed him … feeding him til he’s had enough sounds right to me.

    And as long as the nurses and docs are ok with his weight gain then I think its fine. Munchkin only weighed 11kg when she was 2 years old and at 3 she is only 13-14kg … Sweetpea was only 9kg at her one year clinic visit … and they are both healthy and thriving and active little girls … just small 🙂

    • The sister says he has “a very fine bone structure” I don’t know if she is just being diplomatic. I guess it could be teeth, but it never seems to bother him that much during the day.
      Thanks nusha

  7. I am so sorry! I know exactly how you feel and I can assure you that you are not a bad or inadequate mommy!
    BM is only 8.5 kg at the moment but also healthy according to all the medical people. I don’t think he was hungry, more taking the milk because he can, BM is the same and will happily feed whenever I offer.
    BM did exactly the same to me a while ago and 3 days later a tooth came out. Don’t worry about the teeth not there yet, they are supposed to be stronger if they come out later.

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