I have been feeling really sorry for Honeybear now that it is winter. We leave home at 06h15. These mornings it is not fully bright and it is cold. He is dressed up warm and I carry him down to the car wrapped in a blanket. I buckle him in and then tuck him in with the blanket and I get in and turn on the car. By the time we drive out the gate, the heater has kicked in. My poor baby. Has to go to day-care in the cold.
There is a lady who drops her two kids off at the same day-care. I often see her walking up the road with the little ones. I assumed she must live nearby, because the three of them walk to school.
This morning as I turned into the road to the day-care, I saw the three of them getting out of a mini-bus taxi. I turned and pulled onto the pavement to wait for them. I gave them a lift the short way up the road. I asked her where she comes from and what time they leave in the morning. They leave at 05h30 and live 40kms away.
My Honeybear is blessed to be able to be in a heated car and leave home an hour later. Those little ones must wake so early to be in the taxi at 05h30.
With reference to my previous blog:
Thanks for all the words of encouragement. I am still not sleeping, and Honeybear will accept no comfort from Hubby. Last night I was so tired I just gave up and slept in Honeybear’s room. I am paying for it today with the cramped muscles and backache. Ah well, the little baby is so sweet and he just needs to smile or give me one of his slobbery kisses and I will do it over and over again.
Hubby and I had a long chat about everything the next day. I explained to him about how I feel about everything (and I did say it was my subjective view). He then told me how he feels about everything and then we talked about how to make us both feel better again. We are both in need of some sleep and time on our own.
I love Honeybear, I love him so much, but I need time to be me, alone. I have always been an intensely private person who liked to be on my own and I feel like I have not had my own personal space since we became pregnant.
Please, I am not ungrateful. I know how blessed I am to have become pregnant the first time we tried and to have had an almost uneventful, easy pregnancy and a beautiful healthy child. I am thankful we are still breastfeeding successfully. I will never give any of that up. However, I still need a moment when I am not sharing my body or space and to just lie down and read or just think.
So we agreed that this weekend when Hubby is off again, I will get my morning to myself. Honeybear and Hubby will make a plan to be elsewhere. I will most probably just lie down and read and try my best not do any housework.
Hubby gets weekdays off, so he will take his free day next week and be himself, while I’m at work and Honeybear is at day-care. The day-mother obviously noticed that we are looking a little frazzled and she offered to baby-sit on a weekend if we need her. ( she has done it for us before, one Saturday)
I spoke with my Mom and she said to me that they will come visit with us, and we don’t have to worry about coming to them. She also said that if we wanted them in Pretoria for Honeybear’s birthday, they will be here. And if we were going to the in-laws, that is what we must do and they are not offended.
Hubby and I spoke about it. We decided that we will invite the family to Pretoria for Honeybear’s birthday and we shall make arrangements and buy the tickets for the in-laws to come to us. If the in-laws reject this final offer and do not come, then that is that and we shall leave it alone. No more offers to buy tickets for them to us. And we will go visit them whenever leave and finances allow. I am planning on spending early December with my parents again, and Honeybear will be old enough to enjoy the sea. Hubby does not get December leave, but we will be back before Christmas.
Last night Hubby spoke with his parents and he told them that we are doing a family gathering at Honeybear’s birthday (both his granddads celebrate their birthdays in September, too). His Dad was very short and said they will come and promptly said goodbye and disconnected the call. Hmmmm…….is all I can say. Hubby was taken aback. Oh, well, we shall see.
As you can see, I am a planner and I hate it when I don’t know what is going on.
Also, we are going to get one of these cleaning companies to come give our house a good clean so I can stop worrying about cleaning. And then we can employ someone to come in once a month and do all that deep-cleaning we can never seem to have time to do. Hubby has his dedicated chores (so I do not have to tell him what to do). I guess the admin is still my thing.
I guess I just need to learn to relax and let stuff go.
This blog is becoming very long and your tea must be finished by now. Later sprogbloggies J