Blessed and better


I have been feeling really sorry for Honeybear now that it is winter. We leave home at 06h15. These mornings it is not fully bright and it is cold. He is dressed up warm and I carry him down to the car wrapped in a blanket. I buckle him in and then tuck him in with the blanket and I get in and turn on the car. By the time we drive out the gate, the heater has kicked in. My poor baby. Has to go to day-care in the cold.

There is a lady who drops her two kids off at the same day-care. I often see her walking up the road with the little ones. I assumed she must live nearby, because the three of them walk to school.

This morning as I turned into the road to the day-care, I saw the three of them getting out of a mini-bus taxi. I turned and pulled onto the pavement to wait for them. I gave them a lift the short way up the road. I asked her where she comes from and what time they leave in the morning. They leave at 05h30 and live 40kms away.

My Honeybear is blessed to be able to be in a heated car and leave home an hour later. Those little ones must wake so early to be in the taxi at 05h30.

With reference to my previous blog:

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. I am still not sleeping, and Honeybear will accept no comfort from Hubby. Last night I was so tired I just gave up and slept in Honeybear’s room. I am paying for it today with the cramped muscles and backache. Ah well, the little baby is so sweet and he just needs to smile or give me one of his slobbery kisses and I will do it over and over again.

Hubby and I had a long chat about everything the next day. I explained to him about how I feel about everything (and I did say it was my subjective view). He then told me how he feels about everything and then we talked about how to make us both feel better again. We are both in need of some sleep and time on our own.

I love Honeybear, I love him so much, but I need time to be me, alone. I have always been an intensely private person who liked to be on my own and I feel like I have not had my own personal space since we became pregnant.

Please, I am not ungrateful. I know how blessed I am to have become pregnant the first time we tried and to have had an almost uneventful, easy pregnancy and a beautiful healthy child. I am thankful we are still breastfeeding successfully. I will never give any of that up. However, I still need a moment when I am not sharing my body or space and to just lie down and read or just think.

So we agreed that this weekend when Hubby is off again, I will get my morning to myself. Honeybear and Hubby will make a plan to be elsewhere. I will most probably just lie down and read and try my best not do any housework.

Hubby gets weekdays off, so he will take his free day next week and be himself, while I’m at work and Honeybear is at day-care. The day-mother obviously noticed that we are looking a little frazzled and she offered to baby-sit on a weekend if we need her. ( she has done it for us before, one Saturday)

I spoke with my Mom and she said to me that they will come visit with us, and we don’t have to worry about coming to them. She also said that if we wanted them in Pretoria for Honeybear’s birthday, they will be here. And if we were going to the in-laws, that is what we must do and they are not offended.

Hubby and I spoke about it. We decided that we will invite the family to Pretoria for Honeybear’s birthday and we shall make arrangements and buy the tickets for the in-laws to come to us. If the in-laws reject this final offer and do not come, then that is that and we shall leave it alone. No more offers to buy tickets for them to us. And we will go visit them whenever leave and finances allow. I am planning on spending early December with my parents again, and Honeybear will be old enough to enjoy the sea. Hubby does not get December leave, but we will be back before Christmas.

Last night Hubby spoke with his parents and he told them that we are doing a family gathering at Honeybear’s birthday (both his granddads celebrate their birthdays in September, too). His Dad was very short and said they will come and promptly said goodbye and disconnected the call. Hmmmm…….is all I can say. Hubby was taken aback. Oh, well, we shall see.

As you can see, I am a planner and I hate it when I don’t know what is going on.

Also, we are going to get one of these cleaning companies to come give our house a good clean so I can stop worrying about cleaning. And then we can employ someone to come in once a month and do all that deep-cleaning we can never seem to have time to do. Hubby has his dedicated chores (so I do not have to tell him what to do). I guess the admin is still my thing.

I guess I just need to learn to relax and let stuff go.

This blog is becoming very long and your tea must be finished by now. Later sprogbloggies J


6 responses »

  1. Hehe, sounds like a plan. Me time is very important and I wish I could implement it on myself. I still feel badly when someone else is looking after L.Cleaning? What’s that? I used to do all my housework and everything used to be spotless. I have a helper now, but the blinds are packed with dust and the inside of the cupboards are dirty, but who cares when you have a kidlet to look after.Hugs Mama-CatPS. I’ve still got 4 of my 6 fish left, not bad hey

  2. I know. it feels like if you have free time you should spend it with the child you don’t see during work hours. You are a fish killer, hey? My MIL from your end of the world said their fish have fin-rot and it reminded me of you. She has had koi for years and they are huge!

  3. Hi, I’m ok, ja, haven’t had the chance to do a proper post yet, still sorting out the wording ;)Shame it is so sad to leave the little ones so early. Our tealady have to leave home at 5 to be here by 7 so that she can leave at 4 and be home by 6, luckilly we have a nursery school downstairs, but it sucks having to take the little ones out so early, her little boy is not a happy chappy most mornings, because he wants to sleepies.Glad you and hubby spoke and that you can get your day off, that is very important.I had coffee and biscuits πŸ˜‰

  4. I was following you…as mama cat I just didn’t know lol…and I normally pick up quiet fast…why didn’t you tell the ladies on 24…because bloggers where asking around where’s this and this blogger.Just my take….because I also plan everybody into our plans for the sake of the boy..and nobody plays along thinking im doing them a favour..stuff them really.after bubs first birthday at the inlaws…yes we carted our boy to them….mil tried to steal the show, fil was forced to be in the pics….okay sf calm down….u know I didn’t have to do that, sorry if I tried to make some memories for my son so he could remember youll when he grows up.We don’t go there fr Christmas anymore…our safety Is more important and we don’t want to be traveling on Icy roads…they are most welcome to visit us but they dontIf ur inlaws don’t want to be there it’s their loss….honey bear won’t notice. The show will go on…

  5. Darn in-laws. Glad you and hubby had a chance to talk. Enjoy your time off and don’t feel bad, I feel the same way too πŸ™‚

  6. time for yourself is important too … happy mum’s make for happy babies πŸ™‚ i say that but i also feel bad when i take some me-time … i think all mum’s do! so glad you and hubby had a good chat about things. sorry about the whole situation with the in-laws!

I want to read your thoughts....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s