I know I can…..

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I am so tired. I am not sure I can do it anymore. I know I can I know can I know I can…..

Honeybear wants to feed all night. He fed at 18h00, 19h30, 10h00, 11h30, and then I stopped looking at the clock. After 11h30 there was 3 more times until 04h00. The we fed again at 0600 and he is off to daycare. I am all for breastfeeding and I want to do it for as long as possible, but I do need to work too. Spending all day working after that kind of night is beginning to take its toll on me. It does not help that during the day when we are home, he feeds about every hour to two and becomes upset if he sees me walking away. He sees me and starts making this sucking open mouth motion and wants to be fed. At night he just comes at me with his mouth open, rooting. It is sweet and lovely, but I am physically exhausted. I now constantly have a pounding headache. I get light headed. There are only so many vitamins I can take and so much I can eat and drink in a day.

I know why he so hungry. He needs to eat food. He just does not want to eat. He totally turns his nose at anything pureed. So we now five him finger foods. It works better, but he sees me, and then wants breast milk. I allow him to feed himself (with supervision) and it is better than a spoon in his mouth, but still, he is not eating, really. He prefers breast mlik, direct from the breast.

What am I to do. A friend said she mixes cereal and formula in a bottle and gives it to her baby just before she goes to bed and he sleeps almost the whole night. However, her son also eats anything he is given. He is eating steadily and drinking anything. Mine, on the other hand, just wants mama. Maybe it is daycare? Maybe he wants to feel the closeness we don’t have during the day? I love my little one so much, but at 2am, when I have not slept much, I find myself ready to snap at him when he is crying and fussing yet again and only mama can fix it.

This then leads me to believe that it may be better just to give him the bottle at night and he will sleep better? That way mama is happy and loving all the time, without effort. He may be less hungry. However, if he wants me just for the closeness, then it won’t work.

What am I to do? I know this too will pass, but right now, I despair.

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12 responses »

  1. Ah no, I’m sorry you are going through this, it is incredibly draining. We had a similar problem in the first 6 months that Layla was at daycare, I also felt that she wanted boobs all the time when she saw me because she didn’t get to see my during the day. I finally stopped breastfeeding when she was 12.5 months, but it does get better. Just keep trying different kinds of foods and do your best to regulate the amount of feeds you give him at home. It’s tough, I know. I really hope this passes soon! Good luck.

  2. sounds like a growth spurt, they want to br/feed every hour…its very draining, becasue there are hundreds of other things waiting to be done…

  3. Aww, this is one of the tough parts of breastfeeding. Jess never went to daycare and I still had this with her, it was only for a week or so at the most and like your sweet boy she was not interested in “food”. I had no choice when to stop breastfeeding as my milk suddenly decided enough was enough at 7.5 months.She then had weak black rooibos as she didn’t want any other type of milk and our Paed said that was completely fine.Not long after she started taking solids, but only the food we made ourselves, she would never take Purity or cereals.It will pass, things will settle again, I know that you would love that to be sooner rather than later but don’t think for one minute that you are being a bad Mommy, quite the opposite!!Lots of hugs. xx

  4. Shame, I can’t even begin to imagine hom tired you must be. Why not try the rice cereal in his milk – if he is crying because he’s hungry, then that should help. If he still wants to feed every hour then you know it’s you he wants – then I would suggest picking him up and getting into bed with him. I have a seperate bed in Blossom’s room (she’s been sleeping in her own room since birht) and when she’s being fussy, I just take her, and get into bed with her and we both sleep further. Otherwise, express a bottl or two and let Hubby take a turn or two so you can have a few hours’ of sleep?

  5. I thought they told you not to mix cereal in with the milk??? Perhaps I read another book.Shame, is it a growth spurt? Perhaps try not to feed when he wakes every hour, but soothe him back to sleep until he’s due again. I remember sitting with L on my lap in his room, not feeding him. I read that you have to learn to stretch out their feeds a bit as they get older. This also rules out any need to feed when they are bigger and no longer on milk. A friend of mine still has to give her 3 year old 3 bottles of tea during the night. L sleeps right through.Good luck, it will passHugs

  6. I have also been told it is not good to give cereal in a bottle. It can cause choking. I guess my friend’s little one can already eat well so she is not worried about choking. Mine does not eat yet.

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