Continuing breastfeeding?

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Papa gave Honeybear his first bath this Sunday. Almost 5.5 months later and Papa was finally brave enough. They both thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I normally bath Honeybear. I do it with a bucket and jug, with Honeybear raised on a stool.   This was the only way I could do it, the first few days after the C-section, and it became the way we are both comfortable with. Hubby is afraid of that little body slipping away. I told him to do it as he feels comfortable.

So they both got into the bath, with a packet of bath time friends and had a ball. Honeybear loved being immersed in the water and splashing about. Hubby was a bit worried at first, but since the little one can sit, it was not too bad. He just supported him and made sure he did not fall with his head into the water. The bathroom was a mess, with Honeybear having splashed so much. I just put towels down and let them have fun.

This is what I wanted Hubby to experience…things like bath-time can be fun and an enjoyable experience with your child. These days I leave him to it and I go off to work. Honeybear gets to day-care and Hubby feels more confident every day. Hubby even fed the little one by himself. Normally he would wait for me to see if the cereal is mixed the right way, or to help hold him. After watching me do it by myself, he decided he can too.

We tried some carrot and sweet potato with Honeybear this weekend. He ate it happily on Saturday, but would not eat it on Sunday. Maybe he was tired on Sunday. Maybe he did not like warmed up food? I don’t know. We are going to leave it and try plain sweet potato this afternoon and see how it goes.

Honeybear still drinks as much breast milk as he wants.

I am beginning to wonder if I should stop breastfeeding. My goal was six months and I am two weeks away from that. I don’t know. I think I might feel like a bad Mama for stopping. Other kids are fine with formula? I am beginning to think maybe I need to hold out a bit longer and continue to breastfeed. It is not that I mind feeding him, it is the pumping at work that is getting to me. It is beginning to get difficult to organise meetings around my pumping schedule. Tomorrow is going to be such a day. I am out of the office all day, so pumping is going to be an issue.

The last time this came up, I pumped in the car with a shawl around me. It was blazing hot, the car felt like an oven after four hours in the sun. I felt like I was about to fall over after I was done. But, I managed to pump two feeds for my baby and I survived. I am not sure if I can do it again (I will have to do it, the meetings are tomorrow)

The La Leche League is great help, but sometimes I feel like they might think I am selfish for thinking of stopping. I know breast is best. This is why I am still doing it.

It took me a long time to learn to like breastfeeding. I do like to feed my baby and know I am helping him grow strong and healthy.

There are things I do not like.

Smelling like milk all the time. Wondering whether other people smell me. No matter how careful I am about changing breast pads often, I still smell me. The days when I cannot get to pump soon enough, and my shirt is wet through. Having to make a dash to the bathroom with a shawl draped (artfully) over my chest, to change bra, and shirt. I don’t like having to schedule my day around pumping.

Not being able to go out without Honeybear, for longer than five hours. (and then being smelly because I am starting to leak)

I hate the sound of the pump.

When I am too tired, but I need to pump, because my baby needs it. When I am upset, needing to calm down so I can express milk. Having to pack three bags for me and one for Honeybear every day.

A happy Mama is a good Mama. I love my baby, but sometimes I want my body back as all my own. And then I look at his innocent little face and the contentment when he finishes a feed and I know that I will give all I can give.

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15 responses »

  1. 6 months is a good go. That was my goal with both of my kids. They were difficult to wean though so it ended up being 8 months with the first and 10 months with the second. What you’ve done is awesome and I don’t think you should feel guilty at all about stopping.

  2. agree – six months is still good. also dont think you should feel guilty about wanting to stop. i also want to push bf’ing till about a year, but i dont really work in such a corporate environment that i would have a problem expressing and whatnot like you do, but i am still far from it and we’ll see how it goes. i think you held on as long as you could (and you wanted), and you must be proud of yourself for doing so. and yay for hubby 😉

  3. Yay on the bath time fun with Dad.I don’t like warmed up food either, unless it’s pasta.Don’t feel bad about stopping breastfeeding. I gave L 4 months and he’s as healthy as an ox. I think it depends on the kid how healthy they are going to be.

  4. Glad hubby and honeybear had fun!I know exactly how you feel and this decision is yours alone. I would like to stop breastfeeding as well but BM wont take formula so… thats not going to happen. Luckily I am at home though, I can’t imagine having to do this all the time at work!

  5. really don’t feel bad at all! six months is great! if you’re not sure about stopping altogether you can always try combination formula and breat for a little while. thats what i did with both mine … and then gradually increase formula feeds and cut down on bf 🙂 how awesome that pappa and baby had such fun in the bath 🙂

  6. It must be such a challenge to breastfeed. Well done for lasting so long- and don’t beat yourself up if you think it’s time to stop.

  7. I think you are right, I can force him to be a certain way if he was not made that way. It was the warmed up food…he ate it when I remade fresh food.

  8. I have not tried any formula so I don’t know if he will drink it. I love that you changed your lifestyle to be a SAHM!

  9. If he’s taking a bottle it should be easier. My kids had no problem with the formula, it was bottles they didn’t like. I’d replace one BM feeding a week until he’s totally on formula.

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