In order to ready my body for birth, I have to ready myself now. I have to believe in my bodies abilities now. The mind is strong factor and I hope to make it work for me. I might be totally off track, however, it works for me now and until it stops, I will believe.
I wish people would stop expecting me to be ill and swooning all over the place. I have never been that kind of woman, and I am not about to start now.
I am now 17 weeks pregnant with a bit more than halfway to go. I look forward to seeing Kitten and holding Kitten.
We do not know if Kitten is a son or daughter yet, maybe we will find out next time.
I think I feel Kitten move sometimes, but it is not definite yet, so I will wait for the definite movements before announcing it. Hubby thinks I am imagining it. My Mom believes me. Hubby cannot wait to feel these for himself.
Our possible nanny has started working for us, and I really hope she is the one. I like her and hope she feels the same way. I do not want to go through the rigmarole of trying to find a suitable nanny. This is the first one and she seems great so far. I hope she is the one. I really do not want to leave a young Kitten in a crèche if I do not have to. The nanny would make me feel better. Hubby too is taken with the idea and we have not eve looked at day-care facilities. I think maybe we must keep our options open and not close ourselves off to anything.
My Mom is beginning to bother me. She keeps making excuses of why she might not be able to come to us for Kitten’s birth. My sister might need her, she might get sick, and it is a busy time for her.
I do not need her to come be a workhorse, while I lounge about. I want to her to come because she is looking forward to seeing Kitten. I want her to come because she wants to be here, not because she thinks she has to come and it her duty. I wish my Dad would come too. It sounds like he is not going to even visit when Kitten is born. It makes me sad. I know my parents-in-law would both love to be there, but they will wait until a little later. MIL says it is my Mom’s right to be there with me first. I wish my Mom felt that way too.
My parents have visited me exactly once in the four years I have lived here. They go away on holiday twice a year, money is not an issue. I have told them numerous times to come visit. Money is an issue for us. We have two families to visit. We have to alternate which then means we only see them every second year. I always hear from my parents how they miss me, but why don’t they visit. They are going to be here in Pretoria for the Easter weekend. Not to visit me, but to visit all the tourist spots. Why? They have seen it all numerous times. It would be cheaper to visit me. Hubby and I have to be an after dinner coffee date on the night before they leave for home. Why? Why is actually making us the object of their visit so bad?
I miss them so much. It has been the loneliest four years I have ever had, and I wish that sometimes they would come visit. None of my family has ever visited me. It is always me going to them. They have babies and I am there. They have something special and I am on the phone. They will not even pick up the phone and call me, even though it is free. I miss them all so much, I wish they too would miss me sometimes.
I know that my Mom will come visit because she feels it her duty, but no one else will come. No-one. None of my sisters will make the effort. My Dad will not either.
I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I have the wrong end of the stick. We will see when I get fit into my parents busy holiday schedule this Easter. It will have to suffice my longings.