Good Morning All,
I am here early and nothing works so I lookee where I am. It is ages since I have typed a blog in this actual create post page, hope it does not backfire.
Being back at work is actually not that bad. I must say I was looking forward to work again. Yes I have to deal with the boss, but at least I have learnt when to just back off and stop trying to assert myself. I can assert my ideas quietly and he is more willing to accept them, especially if I make him think they are his ideas. It is a good lesson for me not to be so egotisical. Yes, they are my ideas he is taking credit for, but I will still gain the experience and the personal satisfaction of seeing my ideas materialise, even if only I know.
I still have baby on the brain and I doubt it is going to go away any time soon. I love daydreaming about babies anyway so I’ll just indulge myself for now. Here is about the only place I go on about it, and with hubby, but he is ok, he too has baby on the brain. I am too afraid to tell anyone else, I do not want people to be scrutinising the size of my middle, when it is only fat or to constantly ask me if I am pregnant. I will tell in my own time.
I am not missing my parents so much these days (I did visit them briefly during December). I hope this lasts because I get so miserable about not seeing them more often.
I have to think about whether I am still going to do my volunteer work this year. I used to like doing it. I still do to an extent, but not as much as I used to. I understand the kids have problems. I want to try to help them, but I do not really know how to. The therapists tell me that it is enough that I turn up there for them, the kids just need that, someone that comes especially for them, but I am not sure. Am I doing more harm than good? Will I say something that will affect that child’s life negatively?
The thing that has triggered this, is that one little girl in the group was a bit naughty. Kids are kids and she was not that bad, just compared to the others she was naughty.
The last time I saw them I gave them little farewell gifts and chocolates with a card. It was not much. A small chocolate and a toy. This outspoken and naughty girl was very quiet. I did not think much, thinking she just wanted to get home, and then I overheard her conversation with the therapist. She asked the therapist to call her Mom and ask permission for her to accept the little gifts I had given her.
The Mom would have known I saw the girls once a week, she would have had to sign an indemnity form allowing me to see her daughter. Mom also would know that at the end of the group there is a small pressie for the child. I always do pressies. What makes a little girl afraid to take home a gift, a simple little thing? What makes an outgoing and noisy child so quiet and troubled when she is given a simple little gift?