What troubles little girls?


Good Morning All,

I am here early and nothing works so I lookee where I am.   It is ages since I have typed a blog in this actual create post page, hope it does not backfire.

Being back at work is actually not that bad.  I must say I was looking forward to work again.  Yes I have to deal with the boss, but at least I have learnt when to just back off and stop trying to assert myself.  I can assert my ideas quietly and he is more willing to accept them, especially if I make him think they are his ideas. It is a good lesson for me not to be so egotisical.  Yes, they are my ideas he is taking credit for, but I will still gain the experience and the personal satisfaction of seeing my ideas materialise, even if only I know. 

I still have baby on the brain and I doubt it is going to go away any time soon.  I love daydreaming about babies anyway so I’ll just indulge myself for now.  Here is about the only place I go on about it, and with hubby, but he is ok, he too has baby on the brain.  I am too afraid to tell anyone else, I do not want people to be scrutinising the size of my middle, when it is only fat or to constantly ask me if I am pregnant.  I will tell in my own time.

I am not missing my parents so much these days (I did visit them briefly during December).  I hope this lasts because I get so miserable about not seeing them more often. 

I have to think about whether I am still going to do my volunteer work this year.  I used to like doing it.  I still do to an extent, but not as much as I used to.  I understand the kids have problems.  I want to try to help them, but I do not really know how to.  The therapists tell me that it is enough that I turn up there for them, the kids just need that, someone that comes especially for them, but I am not sure.  Am I doing more harm than good? Will I say something that will affect that child’s life negatively?

The thing that has triggered this, is that one little girl in the group was a bit naughty.  Kids are kids and she was not that bad, just compared to the others she was naughty.

The last time I saw them I gave them little farewell gifts and chocolates with a card.  It was not much.  A small chocolate and a toy.  This outspoken and naughty girl was very quiet.  I did not think much, thinking she just wanted to get home, and then I overheard her conversation with the therapist.  She asked the therapist to call her Mom and ask permission for her to accept the little gifts I had given her. 

The Mom would have known I saw the girls once a week, she would have had to sign an indemnity form allowing me to see her daughter.  Mom also would know that at the end of the group there is a small pressie for the child.  I always do pressies.  What makes a little girl afraid to take home a gift, a simple little thing? What makes an outgoing and noisy child so quiet and troubled when she is given a simple little gift?

2 responses »

  1. You worry too much.She has her own troubles to deal with.All you need to do is maybe show her some light.And doing nothing might be the worst thing you can do – especially if these kids have become used to you.If you stop now, they will have to deal with yet more rejection…

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