Why does one cheat?

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There is a guy who works with Hubby and he is cheating on his fiancé. The first thought that comes to my mind is that he is a pig. How can he do that to her? I know nothing about their relationship, beside the fact that he is cheating on her, with someone else that works with him. The other woman knows all about the fiancé but she does not care. I asked Hubby to ask him why? The cheater says it is because he has no strings attached sex with the other woman.

The next question that comes to mind is: What is wrong with strings? I guess it depends what is defined as a string. Is being in love a string? Is remaining faithful a string? Is doing a few dishes strings?

The last time I saw this cheater, he grabbed me, hugged me, and lifted his leg up around me. I was pretty shocked, but I thought he was just fooling around. Hubby was not happy with him about that and asked him to let me go. So I asked Hubby why he would get upset, it is his friend and he was just playing. Now I know he cheats and he probably does not always just play.

I do not know the fiancé or the cheater well enough but it is an intriguing situation. I know it is a painful situation when she does eventually find out.

Hubby thinks it is weird that I find it so fascinating. What does fascinate me is what makes someone do a hurtful thing like this to someone you love. I can see the attraction to cheating, but there are many things that are attractive, but we don’t do it because of the consequences.

 

There is the age-old question of whether man is supposed to be monogamous. My view is that it does not matter how man is made to be naturally, you are man and you have the ability to overcome nature. There are examples all around us of how man has overcome and overrode nature, so that is no excuse.

How do you go from being totally in love, living in each other’s pockets, to not caring enough not to cheat? This disturbs me greatly. I want my love to be forever. Right now, it feels like it is the everlasting kind of love that Hubby and I share, but I am pretty sure that many people used to think the same way. Then one day they got outta bed and found out it was an illusion.

Then I see my parents who are married for more than thirty years. My in-laws, married for more than forty years. Love does endure. There is hope. You have to believe that what you have is worth being forever.

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12 responses »

  1. love and marriage….it takes a lot of real hard work.Give and take ,and take and give…give much(LOVE,TIME ,EFFORT ) take little(FOR GRANTED)……take much( ON THE CHIN ,ADVICE,) give little(TROUBLE AND HASSLE)….and work work work.BUT IT IS WORTH IT ! ALWAYS !

  2. You make an interesting statement. I’ll have to think more on that one. However, the “innocent” partner is not really cheating. She is being cheated on by both him and the other woman. I’m not sure where I am going with this.

  3. Hmmmm…..I have heard often that it takes hard work. Should love really be hardwork, why can it not be as effortless as smiling? There should be a nicer way.

  4. If he does this already, it will only get worse as time goes by. I agree, strings are good – the right kind of strings.

  5. He is running away from the eventual wedding day and life time commitment. What a toss. He deserves a punch in the nose. AND somebody should take the bull by the horns and let the fiancee know. Is it fair to know about something and not tell? It could be anonymous even. But I don’t think it’s fair to sit back and watch this go on. Yes, she will be heartbroken, but rather now than after the knot is tied. (And I know I’m going to get blasted about my comment – got broad shoulders)Just to give you more hope – been married for 21 years – happier now than ever before.

  6. There are no excuses for cheating but I dont think being married for a long time means there were no problems. Im sure people have gone through problems in their marriages and some may include infedility. At the end of the day its how you deal with those obstacles and what you are willing to forgive. My aunt has been married for years and her husband has cheated on her several times but they are still married. It happens everywhere

  7. I would definitely let the fiance know. I would hate to be the last one to find out my man is a cheat. Us women are so perceptive too, you probably find she suspects. But find a way to tell her – the Prick!

  8. I have always wondered why it has to be hard work, I dont believe it is although I am not married and wont be for a long time

  9. The other woman really sucks! how can you do that to a woman (fiance). what goes around comes around. The cheater well *blegh* guys like that make me sick. and I always wonder how the friends can condone or not expose them. It’s technically aiding and abetting the Cheating! Poor fiance ;(

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