I have a few minutes to write a quick blog. I do not know why I am so busy these days. There is too much to do, not enough time and blogs gets pushed to the back, apparently as a non-essential service.
Hubby and I have been busy bees, baby proofing the house, also, just getting it the way we want it to be. There are all things we would like to do, but the money just does not get there, but that is unimportant. We are weeks away from actually trying to make this little one I have been dreaming about. It is early days yet, I have only stopped taking the pill two weeks ago. It is all I can think about. How much I want this baby we have been talking about for years to finally make itself known.
I am even looking forward to being pregnant. A twinge of uncertainness every so often, but I am more excited than anything else. Hubby and I have done everything we thought we could to prepare and now is the time. Things will happen, as they will.
The baby will or will not come, it is not easy for everyone, however, I am going to be optimistic and not think about all the bad things that could happen.
I remember Lee saying she could not understand why some women are already getting baby rooms done when there are so many months before the baby comes, but I have to say I understand. I want to buy all those baby things. I have to stop myself. I am not even pregnant yet. I am so incredibly excited. It is like this huge present that we are looking forward too. It is all I can think of most days.
Anyway back to reality, the year is about over, I have grown much this year in my field. Work has had its ups and downs, but at the end of it all, it is not so bad. I have a plan of action that will make it better, I have taken back my control, and I am happier about myself. I feel confidence in my abilities. I am at that point when I know that I have the respect of the whole team, and they do not just think I am the secretary. I do actually know what is going on, I get things done, and I have opinions and ideas that are good.
Hubby has stopped smoking, there were many false starts, but he seems to be doing better now. I love him so much (not just because he has stopped smokingJ). I sometimes stop and look at him and wonder how we could be so in love. You hear about how the intensity of a relationship dies down after a while, but we are still happily in love.
The sad bit is that my sisters seem not so happily in love. Everyone has choices and if these are theirs, I cannot criticise. What I do not like, is the way in which they stress out my parents. They have a fight with their husbands and my Mom has to hear about it. She becomes stressed and the next day they are all lovey-dovey again, and Mom is still suffering the worry. Why do they have to call her? Hubby and I have fights too, but I have never called my Mom. We sort it out between ourselves, because that is where we have to make it better, not stressing my Mom.
This stuff depresses me if I think about it too much. I think that I shall think happy thoughts about our kiddy to be. The sweet little face and the fingers and toes and the tummy to tickle.
I saw this thing about keeping a diary for the kiddy. I am not much of a diary writer, but I did think it was a cool idea, to read about what your parents were thinking about and the stuff they did or did not do. I am not sure this will work for me. For one I just cannot see myself remembering to write, and my writing is not that great anymore.
Have any of you kept diaries?