*Sigh* Hubby and I had another fight yesterday afternoon. I did not even know where this came from or why he had gotten upset in the first place. This was after solving the other one. So anyway I stormed off, I was so upset. I do not like talking when upset, all sorts of things I do not want to say will come out of my mouth. So I took two hours to myself. I bought a magazine, had some coffee and waited until I was past it.

When I decided to talk to Hubby, he was dejected and unhappy and telling me how he has to get some mental help for always forgetting to do stuff( established that this was the possible reason for yesterday’s unhappiness). Ok, I don’t know why he thought I was expecting him to clean up the house. I never said anything. So when I asked if he was having a relaxed day yesterday, he assumed I meant that he had not cleaned up while I was at work. Who knows where these things come from. Anyway we talked and hugged and kissed and laughed at ourselves for getting into a fight over something so stupid. I think we need time away from all the stuff that is stressing us. He has work issues, I have work issues, We both have car issues, and mechanic issues and weird ideas about what the other person is thinking.

Anyway, so we are going to my parents for a week. My Mom is going to cook, we are going to eat and we are going to be tourists. We are going to stop trying to mind-read and take the time to talk to each other. No rushing around and being stressed all the time. Work will have to wait and we have to get back to being just us again. We need to have time alone and time with each other. I have found a hiking club that speaks English so I can actually talk to other people, and stop being anti-social. Hubby will have to learn to write things down so he does not forget and hopefully we are going to learn from this and not fight with each other twice in one week.


14 responses »

  1. Why would language bother you?Everybody I know can speak English! No matter how haltingly, they can still communicate with you…Hope the week at the parent’s helps…

  2. Ghia I know everybody can speak English, this, however, does not mean that they will actually speak English. In my time living here, I find that people don’t care whether or not I can understand what is they are saying. I have tried and I still do try to learn to speak Afrikaans, but at the end of the day it is not good enough to participate confidently in a conversation. I go to work meetings and I don’t understand what is going on, even after I have asked that they please speak in English. I know you don’t fully understand the language problem I have. Hubby himself does not understand. When you are standing in a group of people who are speaking in a language you don’t fully understand, that is a sucky situation. There is only so many times you can try in your halting Afrikaans and have people look at you like you are some kind of idiot, or laugh at you because your accent is weird and they can’t understand anyway. Or you say something and they look at you like you are mad, because you did not understand what was going on and made a wrong comment.

  3. This is sad chick!I know there are people like that around.Very rude of them to speak Afrikaans when you don’t understand it – I know, it’s something we do – I saw it in Iraq with the Americans..What you might try to do is just to understand it. Read Afrikaans magazines, listen to Afrikaans radiostations, even watch 7de laan – I know it’s completely kak, but it does have english subtitles. That way you hear the language, you see the corresponding English, and it might make it a bit easier next time you hear things.Just keep on telling the people you can’t understand Afrikaans as well, and they will likely laugh at you, but to see you try I think will make all the difference in the world!Ask somebody in your office to help you with the language thing, to speak to you only in Afrikaans.The only way to learn something is to practice it.I’m here if you need help…

  4. It does sound like you need some time away together. It really helps and you will come back refreshed. Hope you enjoy the trip home.

  5. You are telling me. I know he internalises. I’ve told him so many times. Hence these things pop out and I had no clue.

  6. What language are you talking about?Ur english speaking and the other??It happens Arcat. I say one thing meaning nothing, and there he goes off on a tangent about this and that…lol.we must sometimes do things without them, that way we are not in each others faces and get on his others nerves and we will apppreciate each other more…good idea with the hiking club-

  7. Dont worry about the language problem, just smile and tell everyone that you dont understand and ask that they please help you learn the language one word at a time. Dont be afraid to ask the meaning of words. They also have problems with the otherside of the coin but just too afraid to ask. Also you need to get a hobby when hubby is not available. I know mine was a detective in the police and never home. Had to learn to look after myself and family and also do the finances of which I still am not very good at but I do my best. My daughter has an agreement with her workers, they teach her a new Zulu word a day and she teaches them the english/afrikaans word in exchange. Also look at your hubby this way, it makes him feel good to take care of you in his way, even if it is not the way you want it to be. Hugs to you and enjoy the week with your parents.

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