What does being feminine mean to you? Sometimes my job gives me pause. One cannot be a girly girl in my field. It is like a boys club, and now there are a few woman too. However, these woman, are they feminine or are they just one of the boys.
I don’t want to be one of the boys. I’m a girl and I like it. When walking around in a pile of rubble, do you take the offered hand of one of the boys or do you do it by yourself like one of the boys. When the boys are climbing up a scaffold, do you decline or do you climb like one of the boys? Wearing dresses is not an option. It just does not work, and when you are climbing up a few floors, the dress is a bit of a problem. (that is if you mind people being able to look up your skirt, or you mind falling a few floors to your death)
I like being a girl and I like the dresses, but I mostly never get a chance to wear them. After a while you stop buying dresses, and you find you don’t really have any in your cupboard anymore. You stop having pretty shoes and end up with shoes that are not a hazard in your job. You have tell a bunch of boys what to do.
I find everytime I start a new project, I have to prove myself with the boys. It takes them a while to work out that you actually know what you are doing. In all this I still want to be seen as woman. The only person that opens my car door is my Hubby. He is one of the very few men in my circle that lets me walk through a door first. He pulls my chair out for me. He is Hubby, he knows me as his wife. So that might be the difference. He sees me as a woman because he sees me at home doing the “womanly” things. Does this then mean that a man only sees a female as a woman when she does the stereotypical female things. When she is in a typical “male” environment, does she lose her womanly character?
I think being feminine is many things. The dresses and make-up and pretty shoes are not really the indicator. Being woman is being crazy, thinking too much, wanting to be held and soothed, being strong while things fall apart, loving and being loved. It is how you feel about yourself.