What does being feminine mean to you? Sometimes my job gives me pause. One cannot be a girly girl in my field. It is like a boys club, and now there are a few woman too. However, these woman, are they feminine or are they just one of the boys.

I don’t want to be one of the boys. I’m a girl and I like it. When walking around in a pile of rubble, do you take the offered hand of one of the boys or do you do it by yourself like one of the boys. When the boys are climbing up a scaffold, do you decline or do you climb like one of the boys? Wearing dresses is not an option. It just does not work, and when you are climbing up a few floors, the dress is a bit of a problem. (that is if you mind people being able to look up your skirt, or you mind falling a few floors to your death)

I like being a girl and I like the dresses, but I mostly never get a chance to wear them. After a while you stop buying dresses, and you find you don’t really have any in your cupboard anymore. You stop having pretty shoes and end up with shoes that are not a hazard in your job. You have tell a bunch of boys what to do.

I find everytime I start a new project, I have to prove myself with the boys. It takes them a while to work out that you actually know what you are doing. In all this I still want to be seen as woman. The only person that opens my car door is my Hubby. He is one of the very few men in my circle that lets me walk through a door first. He pulls my chair out for me. He is Hubby, he knows me as his wife. So that might be the difference. He sees me as a woman because he sees me at home doing the “womanly” things. Does this then mean that a man only sees a female as a woman when she does the stereotypical female things. When she is in a typical “male” environment, does she lose her womanly character?

I think being feminine is many things. The dresses and make-up and pretty shoes are not really the indicator. Being woman is being crazy, thinking too much, wanting to be held and soothed, being strong while things fall apart, loving and being loved. It is how you feel about yourself.


12 responses »

  1. I think a feminine woman can be measured by manners and LANGUAGE and then by looks..keep well xx

  2. More than looks..the prettiest woman with foul language can be realy ugly…meaning swearing etc..

  3. I believe bein a woman is being able to climb those scaffold, wear overalls and unflattering shoes but doing it with grace. Asking for help out of a heap of rubbish doesnt mean you are weak. It means you need help out of a rubbish heap. I have a problem with women who work so hard to be like men when we clearly are not. Physically it is impossible. Being a woman is remaining a woman without fear of being labelled as weak because in all other aspects, we are stronger than men. No need to go out of your way to prove it and end up breaking some part of your delicate body. I am not ashamed to say that as much as I can fix a light bulb and start a braai fire, there are other things that a man can do that I cant and if there is one around, I will let him do them and I will sit there and look pretty…. Since you are always in pants and stuff, you can buy dresses and wear them for you hubby on weekends.

  4. Like we always say in Modeling and pageants..Beauty Comes from Within Mind Body and Soul…hehehe..keep well xxx

  5. What field are you at?I feel scared too thinking about the field I chose since i will soon be starting to go into it…Civil Eng….I worry about not being able to wear my pretty dresses, wearing earings,etc those simple girly staff. and as it is also very male dominated I also wonder will they look at me as a professional technician or just another girl whose hands had to be hold all the way for things to be done. I am a girl mostly like being a woman and I DID the tomboy thingie during my high school days now I have found me the woman and I like embracing that. and Wouldnt want anyone to treat me any other way when I am at work.Damn I am not fragile and yes I like my nails done and my hair done but I can do the job as much as any other man.

  6. I think you work it out eventually. The days that I am in the office I’ll dress up a bit, always have your sensible shoes in your car.

  7. I have hope that one day I would have resolved the question to my satisfaction. Thanks for the insight to someone who already has.

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