Guess who is sick again. It seems everytime I resolve to take up my running again, I get sick, and it always takes such a long time to recover my strength to be able to run. This really sucks. I cannot be sick now, Hubby needs me. We’ll just have to be sick together I guess. Maybe I will give in this time and take the pills, at least I’ll have the energy to make dinner. No way can I ask poor Hubby to make dinner. Good thing pressure cookers exist. I’m going to throw everything at the pot and make a chicken soup. I hear it’s good for you if you have a cold, and Hubby’s sensitive tummy should be able to digest it too.
So I have an appointment with the gynae. Baby plan is going into effect. We decided to start with the doctor first. Doulamama has some great advice.
Now that we are actually really doing the baby thing (well no baby for a good while longer, this is just the prelims), it feels a bit more real. We are actual going to have one( if we are both able to have babies that is). We have never tried before, so we don’t know if we can or not. But we are both generally healthy, so I will believe thaT all will be fine.
Reading some of the blogs about women having problems getting pregnant is really heartbreaking. But then you get a happy story like SNiches and youthink that there is hope after all that things can be easy.
We have even started trying to think of the type of bed/cot that we will get. The designer being inherent in me, I have to customise the standard items available. But this then means research. Baby furniture have a certain safety standard that I will have to know. The thing is, customising baby furniture is not something I want to do while I am pregnant, so logic tells me I should get my design sarted now. But then the itty bitty superstitious bit of me, says that one should not count your chickens before thay hatch, or in this case, baby before it is born.
The weird thoughts that come to my head. The very strange thing is that my broodiness seems to have calmed down a bit. It seems the fact that we are taking the first active step, visiting the doctor, dissipated the broodiness. I’m not saying it is all gone, but it is not all consuming anymore.
Besides baby furniture, we have to decide who will take care of our baby once we are back at work. We had decided that a nanny would be the way to go, I cannot contemplate the thought of a little baby in daycare. I know thousands of little one’s are competently cared for in daycare facilities, but there are the horror stories one hears. Equally horror like is the stories I have heard from women who have nannies now. How does one trust someone else with your little joy? I guess I am already too possessive and I don’t even have a baby yet.
Hubby says that I will be a strict parent, and I think I may. My views are very rigid, too rigid. I could make some child’s life really difficult. The standards I set for myself and others is way too high. No one can live like that. In this time I must make more of an effort to let things go. I don’t want to mess up some child. But I do not want a little brat either. I don’t believe in spankings, but neither do I believe in indulgent behaviour.
It would be interesting to see what I will do. However, babies are not experiments, so I need to sort myself out first before we make a baby.
I feel so excitied. I know it is still months before we actually start trying, but now we know we are going to in the near future.