Homesick

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I have lived here a while now, I still miss home.  Yes I have Hubby and we have a house to live in.  When I think of home, it is my parents house.  Years later and I still get home sick.  I know I could not live with them again, I am used to my own ways, and I could never live without Hubby.  We have learnt to cook and manage the chores, and shop and all those grown up things, but I miss home.  My weekly calls to my parents are one of the highlights.  Now that I am without a landline for a few weeks, I speak to them less.  Mom knows that she can call me at work.  I get here early and we can talk.  I call on my cell, and we can talk.  But there is always something come up and we have to cut the conversation short.

I want to know what is going on in their lives, I want to tell her all the small little things from my life, I want to talk to my Dad and hear him ask me about the weather.  I don’t think my parents know how much I miss home.  If one of my sister’s need something, surely it can wait, they live there, a few minutes won’t matter.  They don’t realise how important those phone calls are.  Here, there is no one else, Hubby is my only family.  I miss the family gatherings, I miss my parents.  We cannot afford to visit very often, and we have to divide our visits between both our families.  I have invited my parents to visit us numerous times, but they don’t come.  None of my family has ever visited me here. 
I feel really sorry for myself this morning, after talking to me for 5 minutes my Mom had to go, she had to see if my sister had everything ready for work.  That really upset me, at 25 she can get herself ready.  I just wanted more time.  However, I guess at 29 I should be able to stop being homesick. 
I am really sad.  I sit and think up all the excuses I can use to call my parents.  A recipe that I need.  Or how to do something.  Or to see how my sisters are doing at work.  Just so I can hear them.  But they don’t need me like I need them.
It really sucks that I still miss them.  It really sucks that I can’t call my own house home.  It really sucks that I have to make excuses to call my parents.  It really sucks that they always go away on holiday, but never to visit me, six hours away.  It really sucks that my family don’t need me anymore. 
I know I will forget in while, till the next time my Mom has to run off from talking to me to see to someone else.  I guess I am jealous of my sisters a little, they have more time with them than I do.
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8 responses »

  1. Shame man,so sorry you feel this way.Maybe you should tell you parents exactly how you feel, if that does not help & they still dont come to visit you then im afraid you have to lt it be.Hope it all works for you

  2. Good Grief this could be me writing this…Arcat ur never to old to want to still be with ur family….growing up, I was always with them, they still do this every single day and on occasions, just minus Me :-/ so I have to hear this and that and pottery lessons they are all doing now…Im missing out on yet another thing.”But they don’t need me like I need them” this is what I was telling my hubby last night…

  3. Lisa talking seems the right thing to do, my parents however are very proper, strong emotion is never displayed, neither does anyone ever “talk”

  4. it did get better with bub around, but also that are missing out on a big part of his life…so u have me on the phone all the time telling them every lil thing he does.

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