hell in my world

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It really has been a week from hell last week and this week is starting the same all over again.  I feel like I am on some crazy roller-coaster without the safety belt.  It’s mad, and I am unsure, I feel like a trainee all over again.  The other consultants seem like they are out to get us.  What happened to being professional and courteous?  The people these days have no manners.  It is so sad.
But Hubby has been great. We had a little episode Tuesday evening. Was me talking and not understanding, was hubby looking at me like his world has just caved in.  He asked me:” Are you going to kick me out?” It was the saddest thing ever.  Then he cannot stop apologising for his actions. I don’t know how this happens.  I think I must just be agressive.  I start out asking a question because I don’t understand something, and then we end up with him just about ready to cry and feeling like a loser.  How do I do this to the man I love and could not live without. I can’t even call it a fight.  Because there is no disagreement or anger. I cannot understand how I can hurt him so with one question.
Onto happier matters, we are both happy again, and I have assured him I am not kicking him anywhere (not that I have ever threatened any such bad thing). 
I have been talking to my sister and she advises getting my body baby ready.  Sounds mad, but she makes sense.  She has had two and she says to avoid complications one should prepare before hand.  So I have 18 months to prepare.  Not sure what the plan of action is, but I’ll get my act together soon enough.  I’m guessing I should start with the gynae.  How I hate those visits.  It’s like one of the most degrading things to have this doc checking you out and apologising every step of the way.  Maybe I need a new doc. 
Not a whole heap else going on with me.  Work, hubby and the cold cold cold.
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5 responses »

  1. Rollercoaster indeed! Glad you sorted things out with hubby esp if your getting baby ready… vitamins and folic acid ;)sounds good …

  2. Arcat – I love your blog, you are the only one around here that i seem to relate to, please dont take it as an insult its meant as a compliment, youre` cool! Glad to hear the roller coaster slowed down and youre feeling better again.

  3. Forget the visits to the gynae – to them it’s everyday business; but if you’re not happy, ask around until you find the right one, that is very important. I had a great one in Johannesburg 24 years ago. A Dr. CH Hurwitz and he was brilliant!. Good luck with the planning and enjoy the moment…

  4. Mr. A and I had the same talk on Sat. Apparently I do the same to him. I just talk and my tone is always condescending. I dunno, but if it makes him feel so small, I must be doin it. I thnk we might just be very forthcoming people, and our men just need to learn how to deal with it.

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